like seriously wtf?!

Roy Oswalt Trade-Who Should The Astros Be Looking At?

2010-07-24T13:27:00.004-04:00

With the trade deadline now six days away in Houston we've been waiting for over a month now for the team to pull the trigger on Roy Oswalt. The complication is the fact that he has a no trade clause and wants whatever team who picks him up to guarantee his $16 million option for next season. There appears to be two front runners and a dark horse in this competition. The Cardinals and Phillies followed by the Dodgers. Oswalt apparently is willing to restructure his deal with the Cardinals if he ends up in St Louis. As much as I'm a big believer of not trading within your own division the Cardinals minor league system is fairly stacked and have the most to offer...and of course Houston fans would still get to see Oswalt when he comes to town to visit. Which is the amazing thing about Astros fans, they're not blaming Roy, they want him to have a chance to get a ring and know he'd be in the Cy Young discussion if he had a better offense behind him.

So, let's evaluate who I believe the Astros should target in this sweepstakes.

St Louis Cardinals
I never really knew how deep their farm system is until I began looking at players to trade for. Now some will say I may be asking too much for one player, but Roy's numbers are as good as the other Roy's, he just doesn't get the recognition since he doesn't play on the East Coast.

1. Jaime Garcia, SP, MLB
9-4 2.21 ERA 90K 24 years old.

This should be their number one target. Someone on the Cardinals rotation will be losing a spot and though Garcia has been dynamite this year how badly do you want the Wizard of O who has been lockdown? If I'm Houston, I'll accept Blake Haawksworth, but I want the rest of the players I mentioned as well instead of two of the three. Another bonus for Houston is Jamie went to high school in Mission, Texas and they love bringing the home town kids in.

2. Allen Craig, LF, AAA
.308 11HR 65RBI 26 years old

With Matt Holliday on the team for a good long while Craig doesn't have much hope of moving to the MLB team on a permanent basis. Yes, he spent some time in majors this season and didn't do fantastic but it was his first real prolonged trip and he's been a consistent hitter in the minors. I'm a big believer that Carlos Lee should be sent packing ASAP so by trading for Craig you can allow him to play in the majors for the rest of the season.

3. Matt Carpenter, 3B, AA
.320 8HR 36RBI 25 years old

For my money the Astros biggest problem position is third base. Why they paid money for Pedro Feliz I'm not sure, but it is what it is. I'd try to get a bag of balls and some bats for him at this rate. Chris Johnson has shown promise, but nothing I would say I feel comfortable about not having insurance. Carpenter has only spent two season in the minors and has been a rocket ship playing his way up to AA this year. Another local kid from Sugar Land when it comes to positional players this is a must have in this trade.

4. Manuel De La Cruz, P, Rookie League
4-0 1.04 ERA 23K 20 years old

The most impressive of the Cardinals really young pitching this is an attempt to actually bolster the Astros fairly benign farm system. If Cruz continues to pitch as he has this year he easily could be on the fast track to the majors in three years time...or less.

Philadelphia Phillies
The Phillies are at a disadvantage, their farm system has been depleted over the last few years. They're gonna have to offer up a great bounty to surpass the Cardinals.

1. Jayson Werth, OF, MLB
.280 13HR 52RBI 31 years old

In Houston Werth would be moved to the Left Field and Carlos Lee would be shipped to Chicago, Detroit, somewhere else where he can be DH. Now the problem with Werth is his contract is up at the end of the season. By moving Lee they could afford Werth, but would he stay around for the rebuild being 31? At the very least the Astros should get some draft picks.

2. Drew Naylor, P, AA
9-7 3.86 73K 24 years old

The big right handed Aussie shows how little the Phillies farm system is. They traded a lot away last two years for Cliff Lee and Roy Halladay. Their AAA team is filled with 30 year olds. A former bullpen he's done well with starting and has a nasty curve ball.

3. Jesus Sanchez, P, A+
8-5 2.69 71K 23 years old

Jesus Sanchez is the last remaining prospect from when the Phillies traded Abreu to the Yankees. A former catcher turned pitcher he still has plenty of years ahead of him and gives the Astros another solid arm in their farm system.

4. Jonathan Singleton, 1B, A
.307 11HR 55RBI 19 years old

This is the real gem of the trade. The Phillies are HUGE on Singleton as they should be, this kid is the real deal. They would have to give up Singleton to be able to surpass the Cardinals. I'm not quite sure that Houston has someone as quality to eventually replace Berkman at first base. Being 19 there is no immediate pressure to bring him up to majors any time soon.

5. Cesar Hernandez, 2B, A short
.284 0HR 14RBI 9SB 20 years old

A throw in since Naylor and Sanchez don't bring too much and Werth could be gone sooner rather than later. I chose Hernandez for one reason, speed. The guy has 9 stolen bases in 34 games and you can just imagine a line up that one day would have the combined speed of Hernandez and Bourn.

Los Angeles Dodgers
The Dodgers are in an interesting situation. They are only 6 games out of the first place Padres, but they don't have anyone on the MLB roster they can really give up for Oswalt. So for them to even get into the race they're going to have to give up some prized prospects.

1. John Ely, SP, AAA
3-1 3.24 16K 24 years old

Arguably the Dodgers most prized pitching prospect, he'd have to be involved in an Oswalt trade. The Astros would likely bring him up the minute he arrived in town and let him get his feet wet for the rest of the season. Some would argue sending James McDonald, but those are Dodger fans who don't want to lose Ely.

2. Russ Mitchell, 3B, AAA
.318 16HR 61RBI 25 years old

In a certain sense Mitchell would be the key for me in the trade. I think he could come up to MLB and begin contributing immediately for the Astros. Adding Mitchell to the team would give the Astros a very talented young infield, with a the replacement for Berkman the next piece.

3. Jerry Sands, 1B, AA
.281 9HR 20RBI 23 years old

Sands shows some great promise, but may be lacking the power you want from a first baseman. Still he is one of the better hitters for the Dodgers' AA team and should be able to compete for the MLB team in two years.

4. Christ Withrow, P, AA
3-5 5.09 82K 21 years old

This kid has a great deal of potential to be a strikeout machine. He's still young at 21, already in AA and strikes out batters like a mother. He has a lot to work still to do to make the MLB, especially if his home stadium is a hitters park like Minute Maid.

5. Ethan Martin, P, A+
9-8 5.23 85K 1 Complete Game 21 years old

Like Withrow Martin is a strike out machine but needs to get that ERA down. What is promising is that he had a complete game this year. That means the talent is there just has some work. Adding Withrow and Martin to their farm system gives the Astros a pair of possible aces for the future.

A mere 364 days

2010-07-22T15:16:00.002-04:00

Sure, it's been a while, but, well...

Okay, there's no excuse. Here's three for your Thursday afternoon:

First, I made it to Vermont Brewers Festival last weekend in Burlington, Vermont. I went to the Friday night session, and it was a great time. $25 gets you 15 drink tickets for the four-hour tasting session and a souvenir glass. The standard Vermont and New England breweries were well-represented, such as Magic Hat, Long Trail, and Harpoon, all of which made strong showings (I particularly liked Magic Hat's newest addition to the Odd Notion series). The star of the show in my opinion (and, judging from the line outside their tent, I'm not alone) was tiny Lawson's Finest Liquids from Warren, VT. I tried the Maple Imperial Stout. You should too.

Next, those darn Bush tax cuts. Seems some Senate Dems are feeling gun-shy about letting the cuts expire for the wealthiest Americans. The argument is that because the economy is struggling to get to its feet, now is not the time to let taxes naturally increase on the wealthiest Americans, who, evidently, are using the cuts to prop up the economy with their spending. Sounds silly to me. The real fear, as you probably guessed, is not the economy, but rather the fate of some Dems in right-leaning states: let the cuts expire, don't get reelected.

I think the whole debate is not so dire for Democrats as it might appear at first glance. First, Republicans have painted themselves into a precarious position here: they want a lower deficit, but also the cuts. As Derek Thompson wrote recently in the Atlantic, when you look at the deficit, those Bush tax cuts "are the bucket." They can't have both. Second, the House just passed the extension of unemployment benefits. As far as fiscal stimulus goes, this is the right move, as it puts money in the hands of folks who are going to spend it immediately. Third, honestly, are people trying to say that if we tax the wealthy, the economy will go to hell? I'm no economist, but the last I heard this whole mess was created by a credit crisis and is persisting because banks still won't loan money to small business. Shouldn't we be worried about fixing that rather than whether the marginal rate will increase on a few rich folks?

Lastly, let me publicly congratulate Mr. Dews on his hitchin'. You're going to make a great housewife, sir, and no, the O's are no closer to winning the AL East.

NFL Mock Draft Super Early Edition

2009-07-23T13:28:00.001-04:00

With not much to do until tomorrow when training camp starts, I figured I'd spend the morning doing my first mock draft of the year. Using my predictions from earlier in the month, I present to you my first mock draft for 2010.

1. Oakland Raiders-Tim Tebow, QB, Florida
Laugh, mock, do all that you want to do just remember one key thing, Al Davis is still the owner and head decision maker for the Oakland Raiders and until he dies the decision making process will be all kinds of FUBAR.
2. St Louis Rams-Sam Bradford, QB, Oklahoma
It will become evident this season that Marc Bulger can no longer operate as a NFL QB. I do believe he is now suffering from shell shock and the Rams need someone to replace him sooner rather than later.
3. Seattle Seahawks via Broncos –Gerald McCoy, DT, Oklahoma
The Seahawks can really set their defense up for dominance with this draft. They are already on their way, but with the third and sixth picks…if they don’t trade up with the Raiders to draft Bradford I see this being all D.
4. Detroit Lions –Russell Okung, OT, Oklahoma State
The Lions start drafting like an actual NFL franchise again and pass on the number one WR, even though he is available. You need to protect Sanford, and Okung could easily be a 15 year game in game out starter for the franchise.
5. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Carlos Dunlap, DE, Florida
Though he plays DE at Florida, and may be better situated for a 3-4 DE, I could see the Buccs taking his athleticism and turning him into a very destructive DT as well.
6. Seattle Seahawks- Taylor Mays, S, USC
Grant and Russell are decent players, they’re solid and won’t lose you too many games, Mays may be the best safety from Safety U since Troy P…maybe since Ronnie Lott.
7. New York Jets-Damian Williams, WR, USC
I think the lack of breakout WRs in New York is going to be one of the downsides to this season. Benn from Illinois is likely the top WR, but Williams right behind him brings the Jets to a QB who already has a repertoire with the WR.
8. Cincinnati Bengals-Arrelious Benn, WR, Illinois
I’m not sure who the new head coach in Cincinnati will be, but I can easily see them getting the good sized, very quick Benn for Carson Palmer.
9. Jacksonville Jaguars –Jevan Snead, QB, Ole Miss
Sadly Jack Del Rio is no longer in Jacksonville, and they decide to go another route with their QB situation as Garrard struggles for a second straight year.
10. Dallas Cowboys-Eric Berry, S, Tennessee
Now this may be a bit farther down then some folks would expect Berry, but I can see opposing teams going away from Berry as much as possible. There may be no greater need for a safety then Dallas’.
11. San Francisco 49ers via Panthers- Ndamukong Suh, DT, Nebraska
Running the 3-4 successfully requires a dominate nose tackle, something the Niners are currently missing. Suh is little known from Nebraska, but that will change once his is a Niner.
12. Miami Dolphins- Travis Lewis, OLB, Oklahoma
Lewis is a production beast at Oklahoma, and while maybe not the pass rush threat the Dolphins probably need more, you cannot argue with production that they hope will translate to a Patrick Willis type player.
13. Tennessee Titans-Bryan Bulaga, OT, Iowa
Since the high quality defensive linemen are already taken by 13, the Titans end up going the safe route and taking the number two tackle on the board.
14. Kansas City Chiefs-Brandon Spikes, ILB, Florida
Tony Gonzales is in a different uniform this year, which is just going to feel all kinds of weird. Gresham has good hands, and a decent size to block as well and could be the pick, but I think Pioli is going to try to strike gold like he did with Mayo.
15. San Francisco 49ers-Kristofer O’Dowd, C, USC
SayHey may hate this pick, but he did say they need some offensive linemen. O’Dowd is the top Center available, and since signing Marvel Smith drafting a tackle doesn’t make too much sense here.
16. Indianapolis Colts-Dez Bryant, WR, Oklahoma St
Perhaps this is the lesson we learn this year from the Colts, Peyton Manning needs three solid targets downfield, not just two. Bryant fits in beautifully in this offense.
17. Minnesota Vikings-Joe Haden, CB, Florida
Came on strong last year playing for the Gators, always seems to be in the receivers face for a pass. Vikings secondary is getting a bit long in the tooth.
18. Buffalo Bills-Jermaine Gresham, TE, Oklahoma
Dick Jauron finally gets the style of tight end he’s been wanting, a good sized kid with decent hands and can block at a very high level.
19. Denver Broncos via Bears-Colt McCoy, QB, Texas
Colt McCoy is the perfect style QB for Josh McDaniels’ style of offense. Exceedingly accurate and a great leader, McCoy may be what the Broncos were thinking when they traded Cutler to the Bears.
20. Philadelphia Eagles-Reshad Jones, S, Georgia
Brian Dawkins has left the city of brothery love to form a former NFC East All Star secondary in Denver. They will quickly realize that Sean Jones is not the answer, another Jones is.
21. Cleveland Browns- Sergio Kindle, DE/OLB, Texas
Unless Wimbley can produce like he did in his rookie season, some kind of pass rush is needed in Cleveland. Kindle is the Mangini type of player, though Arthur Jones could land here as a 3-4 DE as well.
22. Atlanta Falcons- Trent Williams, OT, Oklahoma
They have Sam Baker on their left side, but their right is an undrafted Demon Deacon. This is the natural progression of a franchise going in the right direction.
23. Houston Texans-Trevard Lindley, CB, Kentucky
The Texans have some questions in the secondary right now, especially with the Duante Robinson situation. Being able to snag the number two corner this far down would be a god send for the Texans.
24. Arizona Cardinals- Brandon Graham, DE, Michigan Greg
The Cardinals may struggle with a pass rush, and Graham has the speed to be a beast of a defensive end for them. Add his speed to that of Campbell and they could have the fastest DE combo in the NFL.
25. Baltimore Ravens-Brandon LaFell, WR, LSU
I’m not sure what is going to happen to LaFell seeing that I believe the LSU QB position is a bit of a question mark this year. He seems to fit the Ravens’ style of WR though.
26. Washington Redskins-CJ Spiller, RB, Clemson
Running backs seem to be taken later and later in drafts the past few years. Clinton Portis isn’t getting any younger and they really don’t have a very good answer behind him, Spiller makes the most sense here.
27. New York Giants-Sean Witherspoon, OLB, Missouri
When it comes to Witherspoon you’re reminded of the Oklahoma LB taken above him in the draft, production. Witherspoon has been nothing but productive since he emerged onto the scene at Missouri.
28. San Diego Chargers-Terrence Cody, DT, Alabama
6’5” 360lbs…the size alone means you put him in the middle of the defense and hope he takes three offensive linemen with him.
29. New Orleans Saints-Arthur Jones, DT, Syracuse
Though he may be better suited for a 3-4 defensive end, they are gonna need someone to go next to Sedrick Ellis on the interior of their defensive line.
30. Pittsburgh Steelers-Rolando McClain, ILB, Alabama
James Farrior isn’t getting any younger for the Steelers and his eventual replace needs to be found. McClain is a very productive inside linebacker, one who should fit in well with the Steelers.
31. New England Patriots-Javier Arenas, CB, Alabama
The Saban Belichek connection continues. Arenas may have been the best new secondary player in the SEC last year, but the best thing for the Patriots is he is a dynamic return specialist.
32. Green Bay Packers- Ciron Black, OT, LSU
When you seemingly have everything else that you need, take the best offensive lineman available, you can never have enough quality offensive linemen.

DC&H's Question for the Day (maybe for the ages)

2009-07-08T14:02:00.002-04:00

Just how the hell do you lose Bartolo Colon?

2009 NFL Predictions Pre-Training Camp Edition

2009-07-08T12:17:00.002-04:00

We must be feeling patriotic or something, there is suddenly once again life in this ole boy. Yesterday we discussed the MLB All Star game and the rosters that SHOULD be in place...even if Dews' hard-on for Markakis can't allow him to see straight. Today we are discussing the upcoming football season.

We are less than a month away from training camp opening so I thought I'd throw out my initial prediction on what I think next year's draft order is gonna look like, and maybe even a little bit about why I see things happening this way.

Now some may call me a homer, but I did a good amount of research on each team, their acquisitions and took into consideration many factors that lead me to this conclusion. It was a very thorough and scientific research study.

1. Oakland Raiders 3-13
I think folks will be surprised week one, and then not again until they draft some Lithuanian named Drago with the first pick of next year's draft.
2. St Louis Rams 3-13
I love their new coach, I think he will do well, but the pieces are still missing. Their three wins will be shockers, but I fear at next year's draft they'll be taking Bulger's replacement.
3. Denver Broncos 3-13
I got this itch in the back of my head that says McDaniel let Cutler get away because 1. He's a Commodore and 2. He has something planned in next year's draft and needs this team to suck till then. My prediction? His plans wears jorts, crocs and is a jesus freak.
4. Detroit Lions 4-12
Look, I know they're still not out of the top five in the draft, but that is four more games then they won all of last year, that's progress.
5. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 5-11
The following seven teams all have the same record, so you can put them anywhere from 5 to 11. New coach, crashes and burns as Chucky laughs in the MNF booth.
6. Seattle Seahawks 5-11
Can Jim Mora last a season? He has a WR, but I think Hasslebeck will once again get hurt, and they still have zero running game to speak of. A tough tough season for Seattle.
7. New York Jets 5-11
Not a bad year for a rookie head coach, with a rookie QB, but they deal with the fact they now have to play Tom Brady again and TO twice a year.
8. Cincinnati Bengals 5-11
Everyone seems to think the Bengals will be back, but their defense is still suspect. Chris Henry will get arrested. Chad Ochocinco is about the only weapon Palmer has, and Andre Smith may be a beast but he's the only one on that line.
9. Jacksonville Jaguars 5-11
Sorry Jack Del Rio, this will be your final year in sunny Florida. It's a shame because I really like him as a coach, but your former GM put you too far behind the 8-ball to let you get out this year.
10. Dallas Cowboys 5-11
How bout dem Cowboys?! Sorry Wade, but this will be your last season as coach. You're playing in the second toughest division in football and unless you WISELY run your offense with a three headed monster running attack and only letting Romo throw the ball ten times a game, well like the Detective said, where are you going? Fuckin nowhere...
11. Carolina Panthers 5-11
Sadly once again Jake Delhomme gets knocked out of the season and they struggle the rest of the year. I like this team, I think it will be really good again soon, this year's schedule though is no picnic.
12. Miami Dolphins 7-9
They take a step back slightly, but only because other teams take step forwards. I do think Ronnie Brown has a good chance to lead the NFL in rushing this year though.
13. Tennessee Titans 8-8
Kerry Collins falls off the wagon to start the season, and Vince Young finally starts again to at least get this team back to .500. They really miss Haynesworth this season.
14. Kansas City Chiefs 8-8
The first time I went through my predictions they didn't have this much, but then I took two things into consideration. One, they play the Raiders and Broncos twice. They have a QB who is at least serviceable. Larry Johnson may be rejuvenated a bit by all the passing that will be happening.
15. San Francisco 49ers 8-8
This isn't due to any kind of quarterback play, but due to old school smash mouth football. Frank Gore leads the NFC in rushing and Patrick Willis gets defensive player of the year honors. Could be higher if they trade for Derek Anderson in week five.
16. Indianapolis Colts 8-8
A change of coaches have the Colts slip quite a bit this year. I think you saw it when Manning freaked out a bit when all the coaching stuff happened. It won't be the offenses fault though, the defense causes a .500 season.
17. Minnesota Vikings 8-8
Sorry Minnesota, Brett Favre will not lead you to the playoffs. You will have some exciting games, and Peterson will look phenomenal, but Favre will throw your season away. Plus you have a doubly motivated Packer team to deal with.
18. Buffalo Bills 9-7
Still so close yet so far away. Perhaps if Marshawn Lynch wasn't suspended the first four games you might squeeze into the playoffs. Hell, you're right at the door you still could. TO elevates Trent Edwards to the next level.
19. Chicago Bears 10-6
A highly competitive NFC forces the Bears to watch the playoffs from home. Cutler does ok, but nothing more special then Grossman or the Boilermaker. This makes the Bears realize, finally, they actually need weapons for a quarterback, so there is a bright side.
20. Philadelphia Eagles 10-6
Much like the Bears, you're just oh so close but just miss out this time. The team does well, you just miss a tie-breaker or two and get shut out of the playoffs. It was a successful season, and in any other it would have been fine, just not this year.
21. Cleveland Browns 9-7
Yes, laugh, but take a look at our schedule really quick. The majority of our home games are late in the season, up in cold and snowy Ohio. Mangini has turned this team into a power running football team, the kind of team that wins those games.Mix that with Rex Ryan bringing back the old 46 defense and a very pleasant schedule and you have a recipe for shocker.
22. Atlanta Falcons 10-6
Matt Ryan looks like a stud all season, sadly though he plays in the same division as Drew Brees. To top it off, they have to play in the Meadowlands for their first playoff game, not exactly helpful.
23. Houston Texans 11-5
Finally no longer that team referred to as this year's sleeper as they actually WIN the AFC South. Their defense is one of the more shocking things this year, but sadly go up against the playoff experienced carrion flyers.
24. Arizona Cardinals 11-5
They prevent the Super Bowl loser slump, but that's probably only because they play in the NFC West. They are actually upset at home in the wild card round, but have a decent season regardless.
25. Baltimore Ravens 10-6
Another solid year by the Fighting Blue Hen Joe Flacco. The team struggles at time, but they find ways to win games. They beat the Texans in the Wild Card, but can't overcome the defending champs.
26. Washington Redskins 10-6
Shocker of all shocker, the Redskins not only make the playoffs but BEAT the Cardinals in Arizona. Their defense is as stout as any in the NFC this year and General Zorn decides to trust in Portis rather then Campbell.
27. New York Giants 11-5
Another solid year from the G-Men, even without Buress. They go back to smashmouth football and allow Jacobs and rookie sensation Andre Brown to beat teams up. Sadly though they are just outgunned this year.
28. San Diego Chargers 12-4
No slow season start this year, the Chargers I think actually we ten games before they actually lose a game. A great year by Rivers and company, but one that just could not handle the upper echelon of playoff football. I mean you do know who your head coach is don't you?
29. New Orleans Saints 11-5
This could change depending on home field advantage in the playoffs. If they Saints can get home field advantage in the playoffs, they're taking it all. I think this is the year Brees is finally mentioned in the same breath as Manning and Brady.
30. Pittsburgh Steelers 12-4
It looks like they're going back to the Super Bowl, they have home field advantage, everything is going right, but once again the bane of their existence, Tom Brady, comes into town and takes his team to the Super Bowl.
31. New England Patriots 12-4
Yes, Tom Brady comes back and takes his team to the Super Bowl, but it's not nearly as good as the one loss team and therefore once again they lose a Super Bowl. However taking his team to the Super Bowl a year after major knee surgery finally gets people to shut up about whether Tom Brady is a good quarterback or not.
32. Green Bay Packers 12-4
The shocker of all shockers, the Packers are your 2010 Super Bowl Champions. Now this is contingent on one thing, this team HAS to stay healthy. If they stay healthy, this team could very well win it all. I know it's a new defense and all, but all the pieces are here. I think with Favre joining the Vikings, allegedly, it will give them even more motivation and you'll see it all season long.

Dews Happy Hump day

2009-07-08T10:28:00.004-04:00

So, yea, maybe its been a while, but at least I have the excuse of a very demanding job full of plenty of high maintenance people working there (this thankfully is balanced by not having any high maintenance folks to deal with AFTER work though, I must admit).

Anyway, without further adieu, lets take a peak at the news shall we?

First off, in what is quite possibly the most useless scientific use of stem cells since throwing them away went out of style:

A team of British scientists claimed Wednesday to have created human sperm using embryonic stem cells, in a medical first that they say will lead to a better understanding of fertility.

Seriously? We can't just find sperm somewhere? We need to now create it?

The best part about this useless discovery (spare me the male infertility "need" with the thousands of children still very much available via adoption), is that the sperm created (if used for fertility) would develop abnormalities (and be very illegal to boot!) and is at best 10 years away from being a "viable" treatment for male infertility.

I can think of at least 5 diseases off the top of my head that are better suited for Stem cells to be devoted to and creating something that thousands of guys donate on a regular basis is DEFINITELY not one of the things that needs "solving".

More happy news about my daily commute...

Apparently even with the worst Washington DC Metro disaster ever still fresh in our minds, Metrorail operators are being caught on video texting while driving...

There's more bad publicity for Metro after a YouTube video surfaces of a Metro train operator apparently texting while on the job.

Just amazing to me that its probably so much a part of this persons day-to-day activities that human nature dictates he just continue doing it...

Finally, Google is making its final push for World Dominance with the announcement that it will soon compete with the hapless Microsoft Corporation in the Operating Systems market.

Google Inc., owner of the most- visited Internet search engine, is developing a computer operating system based on its Chrome Web browser, taking aim at Microsoft Corp. in its strongest market.

Now, I'm a fan of all things Google, so I'm obviously excited to see what kind of product they can put forward, but the expectations are going to be astronomically high on this one.

Not that Microsoft has had a decent offering in this field since Windows XP was the standard, but if they really want to deal the death blow to the powerful Microsoft empire, then they really need to release a solid product that will truly allow users the ability to do everything they are accustomed to doing (which includes gaming, which Steve Jobs has yet to hammer home on Macs yet).

I'm hopefully optimistic about it, as its release will probably coincide with my retiring from the IT world altogether to run away to a tropical island and bartend, so I could care less where Microsoft products go at that point!

That is all...

Teddy Bear Enters Rehab

2009-07-07T19:40:00.004-04:00

So in recent news, the beloved Mr. Teddy Bear has entered himself into rehab after being convicted of using and concealing heroin.

In happier news the only good Teddy Bear company in the world, Vermont Teddy Bear Company, has further increased its monopoly on better made and more well behaved teddy bears. Long live the Republic! :)

The Gonzo All Star Roster

2009-07-07T11:42:00.004-04:00

Yes, we all know that the All Star game is nothing then a glorified popularity contest. Hell, it's not even that when the only teams represented in the game come from Boston or New York. How players who DESERVE to be in the game get snubbed is beyond me. Yes, I understand they think folks watching their favorite players will raise viewership, but if the guy is batting .220 anyways having him hit against the best pitchers in the game isn't going to help him.

Furthermore if you allow those who have earned that top spot more folks would watch it since there are more folks who hate the Yankees and Red Sox then there are who love them. I would like to take away the manager option for the game, he shouldn't be allowed to select anyone, neither should the players. This is the computer age, find out statistically who is the best at each position and fill them accordingly. Finally, perhaps a cap of how many players one team can have. SIX RED SOX?! Pedroia and Youkalis have no business in this game, and I'm a fan of both.

So basically I have taken the template of every team gets a player and went with the players who are playing the best in baseball, not who is most popular. I will defend my selections in the comments.

AMERICAN LEAGUE ALL STARS STARTING LINE UP
1B Justin Morneau-Minnesota Twins
2B Aaron Hill-Toronto Blue Jays
3B Michael Young-Texas Rangers
SS Derek Jeter-New York Yankees
OF Tori Hunter-LA Angels of Anaheim
OF Ichiro Suzuki-Seattle Mariners
OF Carl Crawford-Tampa Bay Rays
C Joe Mauer-Minnesota Twins
SP Zach Greinke-Kansas City Royals

NATIONAL LEAGUE ALL STARS STARTING LINE UP
1B Albert Puljos-St Louis Cardinals
2B Chase Utley-Philadelphia Phillies
3B Pablo Sandoval-San Francisco Giants
SS Hanley Rameriz-Florida Marlins
OF Ryan Braun-Milwakee Brewers
OF Raul Ibanez-Philadelphia Phillies
OF Brad Hawpe-Colorado Rockies
C Brian McCann-Atlanta Braves
SP Tim Lincecum-San Francisco Giants

American League Reserves
P Roy Halladay-Blue Jays
P Kevin Slowey-Twins
P Tim Wakefield-Red Sox
P Josh Beckett-Red Sox
P Jered Weaver-Angels
P Mark Buehrle-White Sox
P Felix Hernandex-Mariners
P Kevin Millwood-Rangers
P Mariano Rivera-Yankees
P Andrew Bailey-Athletics
P Joe Nathan-Twins
P Jonathon Papelbon-Red Sox
P Brian Fuentes-Angels
1B Miguel Cabrera-Tigers
2B Robinson Cano-Yankees
3B Evan Longoria-Rays
SS Jason Bartlett-Rays
IF Mark Teixeira-Yankees
OF Jermaine Dye-White Sox
OF Adam Jones-Orioles
OF Jason Bay-Red Sox
OF Jacoby Ellsbury-Red Sox
C Victor Martinez-Indians

National League Reserves
P Jason Marquis-Rockies
P Matt Cain-Giants
P Chad Billingsley-Dodgers
P Johan Santana-Mets
P Ryan Franklin-Cardinals
P Heath Bell-Padres
P Francisco Rodriguz-Mets
P Rafeal Soriano-Braves
P Francisco Cordero-Reds
P Dan Haren-Diamonbacks
P Yovani Gallardo-Brewers
P Trevor Hoffman-Brewers
P Ted Lilly-Cubs
1B Prince Fielder-Brewers
2B Freddy Sanchez-Pirates
3B Ryan Zimmerman-Nationals
SS Miguel Tejada-Astros
IF David Wright-Mets
OF Justin Upton-Diamondbacks
OF Shane Victorino-Phillies
OF Hunter Pence-Astros
OF Matt Kemp-Dodgers
C Yadier Molina-Cardinals

Get a doctor in here!

2009-06-02T15:14:00.001-04:00

This puppy aint dead yet...

LSWTF NFL Mock Draft Day Away Edition

2009-04-24T13:08:00.001-04:00

Welcome once again everyone to the LSWTF Mock Draft. I know it's been quite some time, but I don't have a desk job anymore and I find myself more distracted at home then sitting in front of a computer all day. I will tell you I've done a great deal of mock drafts in the last few months...they just never seem to go from paper to screen.

ROUND ONE
1. Detroit Lions-Matt Stafford, QB, Georgia
We should know shortly whether or not this actually happens. I'm on the fence, but I think his agent and himself will look at the market and realize he could fall out of the top ten if he isn't selected first overall, which is why I think they get the deal done today.

2. St Louis Rams-Eugene Monroe, OT, Virginia
I'm sure plenty of you are thinking of Jason Smith here, and you'll be shocked to see how far he falls on my list, but Monroe is the more pro-ready tackle in my opinion. He can be plugged in day one, tackle or guard, and play at a high level. He also has the benefit of former teammate Chris Long being a Ram and possibly whispering sweet nothings into the office's ear about Monroe.

3. Kansas City Chiefs-Tyson Jackson, DE, LSU
He has been a rocketship this week. He's gone from the middle of the first round into a top five pick. Folks are hearing about his intensity, and how hard he plays, and blaming that for his ability to be gassed in the fourth quarter. I think it also may play into motivating Glenn Dorsey by giving him his former teammate.

4. Seattle Seahawks-Aaron Curry, OLB, Wake Forest
They let Julian go and now need his replacement and what an upgrade it is. They are always to move down as well so they could move down with a team in love with Aaron Curry say...the Patriots. They could move down with the Broncos or Jets who may or may not be in love with Mark Sanchez.

5. Cleveland Browns-Malcolm Jenkins, DB, Ohio State
Didn't see this one coming did ya? This was a popular pick late last year for the Browns and I'm bringing it back in style. I'm going with this with the idea that Edwards isn't traded, and in all likelihood that they will be trying to move down from the number 5 spot. I think they have their eye on a kid to play the outside backer spot at the top of the second round, and this selection makes the most sense. They haven't solved the "loss" of Sean Jones and there's no doubt he's a top ten talent and a playmaker.

6. Cincinnati Bengals-Andre Smith, OT, Alabama
Thought Jason Smith here didn't you? Word has it that the Bengals are in love with Andre Smith, and why shouldn't they be? All world talent in college, but at the end of his time in college there were some questionable things going on...sounds like a future Bengal to me!

7. Oakland Raiders-Michael Crabtree, WR, Texas Tech
For the third straight draft the Raiders will take the argued best offensive skill player in the draft in the first round. Jury is still out on Russell and MacFadden, but I think Crabtree should do well in the black hole. He's already accustomed to wearing all black for football and being around guns growing up in Texas, seems like a perfect fit.

8. Jacksonville Jaguars-Mark Sanchez, QB, USC
Yes, I realize they spent a ton of money on David Garrard. Yes, he had a hell of a year two years ago, but this last year he fell off a bit. So who comes back, last year or two years ago? I'm gonna say last year, but still plays well enough to keep Sanchez on the bench to learn and they ship him somewhere next year during the offseason.

9. Green Bay Packers-BJ Raji, DT, Boston College
Thankfully his name has been cleared by SI, but I don't think it will effect his draft status that much. The Browns may take a look at him, and so will the Jaguars, but I don't really see him moving past Green Bay.

10. San Francisco 49ers-Jason Smith, OT, Baylor
The Baylor alum takes the best player from Baylor since he graduated. He's got that Singletary type attitude and he should THRIVE under him. Not a huge need, not as much as a pass rusher, but hard to let pass this much talent.

11. Buffalo Bills-Brian Orakpo, DE, Texas
With all the talk of hybrids this hybrids that, I'm finding it very interesting that many of these so called hybrids are actually going to good ole fashioned 3/4 teams. I love this kid, I wouldn't be sad if the Browns took him, but I can see him falling just out of the top ten.

12. Denver Broncos-Robert Ayers, DE, Tennessee
A good number of players put on some weight from college to the pros and I believe Ayers will do just that so he can get to the playing size of a 3/4 DE. Now let me say this, this is my first official bust of the draft. I can't take a kid who had only 3 sacks last year and only 4 the year before it.

13. Washington Redskins-Michael Oher, OT, Ole Miss
I believe Michael Oher is getting heavily overlooked. At one point I had this kid the number one tackle in this class (which in my opinion is Jason Smith) and I would personally draft him over Andre Smith, so I think the Redskins are getting a steal at 13 and provides them with a real nice bookend.

14. New Orleans Saints-Knowshun Moreno, RB, Georgia
The Duece is loose elsewhere leaving only Reggie Bush to really run the ball. Oh, well there's Pierre Thomas but whatever. I think Moreno is the kind of running back they thought Bush was going to be (who in is own right is a hybrid). I think the tandem of Bush and Moreno is a dangerous one, and one that could open up Brees passing game...even more then it already is.

15. Houston Texans-Aaron Maybin, DE, Penn St
Freakish athletic ability, that's what I think about when I think about Aaron Maybin. I think the Texans make a bold and intelligent move if they bring this young man in. You put his speed and ability to rush the passer opposite Super Mario? I think Peyton is on the phone and begging the Colts to upgrade their offensive tackles in a hurry.

16. San Diego Chargers-Rey Maualuga, ILB, USC
The Chargers have been on the cusp of greatness for a few years now, but I see where they are missing one key ingredient to that the Chargers need to get to the Super Bowl. A Samoan linebacker from the University of Southern California.

17. New York Jets-Josh Freeman, QB, Kansas St
Whether it was a ploy for teams to trade up with them to draft Freeman or not, they told him they plan on drafting him...allegedly. I think he'll be a decent QB, just not the showstopper folks are making him out to be.

18. Denver Broncos via Bears-Darius Butler, CB, UConn
With Freeman gone upgrading their defense should continue. Ever since that tragic New Years Eve incident they've been missing someone who can produce opposite Champ Bailey. Butler is a fine cornerback who should do even better then expected once Bailey takes him under his wing.

19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers-Jeremy Maclin, WR, Missouri
It's amazing how a kid who once was a top ten pick could slide all the way to the number 19 slot. I love this kid, I think he's a playmaker in the mold of Steve Smith. One thing for certain, you no longer will hear how the Buccs only have had a few returns for touchdowns in their team's history.

20. Detroit Lions via Cowboys-Peria Jerry, DT, Ole Miss
If they still have this pick remember one key thing, their new coach is Jim Schwartz. He knows how much his success relied on Albert Haynesworth, and with Shaun Rogers gone in Detroit, he needs some inside presence on the defensive line. Now I wish the Browns would just suck it up, and take Jerry with the number five pick. I think this kid is going to be a superstar and is very close to being my favorite player in this draft.

21. Philadelphia Eagles-Brian Cushing, OLB, USC
With their tackle problems solved, and Moreno off the board, I can see the Eagles taking the smart road, taking a kid from Jersey and solving the giant hole that they have at weakside linebacker. I'm a huge fan of Cushing and I think he'd easily become one of their favorite players with the fans.

22. Minnesota Vikings-Percy Harvin, WR, Florida
They don't need a number one, but Harvin can be a solid number two. I think he'll be their version of DeSean Jackson and hopefully take some pressure off of Purple Jesus. Let us just hope he doesn't find his way onto the Love Boat up there in the land of a thousand lakes.

23. New England Patriots-Conor Barwin, OLB/DE/TE/Surgeon, Cincinnati
I've never have seen a player go into a draft more suited for any one team then I have with Conor Barwin. In college he was Cincinnati's tight end and defensive end. In New England he'd likely move to the 3/4 outside backer, play on the goalline, long snap, braid Tom Brady's hair and wash Belichek's hoodies.

24. Atlanta Falcons-James Laurinaitis, ILB, Ohio State
I think this selection for the Falcons will come down to USC versus Ohio State, Son of Matthews vs Son of Animal. I know there is Curtis Lofton, but I feel he's better suited for the WLB. You can plant Animal Jr. into the middle backer spot and let him loose. Plus, Atlanta was the home base for WCW, he'd be a huge hit with the locals.

25. Miami Dolphins-Alphonso Smith, CB, Wake Forest
Bill Parcells has a very interesting team being born there on the beach. One thing it needs, however, is a shut down cornerback. Alphonso Smith has been one of my favorite players in this draft since day one. I've watched him over the last few years and I think his game translates very well into the pro system.

26. Baltimore Ravens-Darrius Heyward-Bey, WR, Maryland
It's always nice to see a team take a local kid, so this makes sense to me. They need to give Joe Flacco a big tall target downfield, Mason isn't getting any younger you know. I know the initial reaction is gonna be, what about a linebacker?! There are a plethora of quality linebackers in this draft, it can wait a round.

27. Indianapolis Colts-Evander Hood, DT, Missouri
Though Peyton may be on the phone begging the new coaches for some protection, it won't matter if their defense can't stop the other team. I think Hood fits the style of player they adore there in Indy and I think he's a perfect fit for the Colts.

28. Buffalo Bills via Eagles via Panthers-William Beatty, OT, UConn
I never thought I'd see the day when two UConn FOOTBALL PLAYERS were taken in the first round. The word on the street is that the Bills are very impressed by Beatty and went into trading Peters to the Eagles for this selection as they felt he'd still be here.

29. New York Giants-Sean Smith, DB, Utah
Though Eli may be screaming for Nicks or Britt, if the Edwards trade doesn't get done, I think they need to address the secondary first especially with the emergence of the Arizona Cardinals. Sean Smith is a Tom Coughlin kind of player, and I think he'd gel well with that defense and their style of play.

30. Tennessee Titans-DJ Moore, CB, Vanderbilt
Many think WR, but that's never been the way that Jeff Fisher operates. WR isn't their biggest need, stoping Andre Johnson and Reggie Wayne is. I LOVE this kid, ADORE him, hell I want to adopt him and make him part of the tribe. I think this kid is going to be the next Deon Sanders, mark my words.

31. Arizona Cardinals-Beanie Wells, RB, Ohio State
The fact that Beanie Wells could fall this far is a bit of a shock. The kid is a football player and I think Wisenhunt will see that and pick him up to be his work horse. Yes they'll still have the Spider for third downs, but Wells is an every down back and taking the third down off should help slow the injuries.

32. Pittsburgh Steelers-Phil Loadholt, OT, Oklahoma
Though Big Ben gave them a bunch of credit after they won, the weak spot on this team is still the offensive line. Somehow someway Loadholt has worked his way back into the first round. I'm not a fan of the guy, I think he's a waste of a pick and will be fighting weight issues his entire career. But the Steelers seem to be big fans, so please draft him so we can blow him over and take out Big Ben.

ROUND TWO
1. Detroit Lions-Everette Brown, DE, Florida State
A shocking fall from grace, I think he'll be an every down player in Detroit.

2. St Louis Rams-Hakeem Nicks, WR, North Carolina
With Tory Holt gone, Bulger needs someone tall to throw the long ball to.

3. New England Patriot via Chiefs-Donald Brown, RB, UConn
Kills me to allow them to draft Brown, I think this kid is going to be the best RB in this class.

4. Cleveland Browns-Clay Matthews, OLB, USC
Look, this is the only pick I care about with the Browns. It is a sign of a return to glory if once again there is a Clay Matthews in the linebacker corps.

5. Seattle Seahawks-LeSean McCoy, RB, Pitt
So do you think they want only Julius Jones as their RB?

6. Cincinnati Bengals-Vontae Davis, CB, Illinois
They need to find a shutdown corner...one who is sober...

7. Jacksonville Jaguars-Kenny Britt, WR, Rutgers
Holt is only one man, but one who should be able to get Britt's head on right.

8. Oakland Raiders-Michael Johnson, DE, Georgia Tech
This is my Al Davis loves stopwatches draft pick.

9. Green Bay Packers-Jason Gilbert, DE, San Jose State
Probably has first round talent, the Packers get a real steal with him falling this far.

10. Buffalo Bills-Alex Mack, C, Cal
With the Steelers taking Loadass the best center in the draft falls to the Bills.

11. San Francisco 49ers-Louis Delmas, S, Western Michigan
Some were probably thinking WR, but do you want the number 7 WR or number 1 safety?

12. Miami Dolphins via Redskins-Eben Britton, OT, Arizona
A good right side compliment to Jake Long who Parcells should like.

13. New York Giants via Saints-Ron Brace, DT, Boston College
A pretty solid DT who really stuffs the run, should be a good fit for that defense.

14. Houston Texans-Max Unger, C, Oregon
They're now the zone blocking team of the NFL, the perfect place for my favorite lineman in the draft.

15. New England Patriots via Chargers-William Moore, S, Missouri
They need some help at the safety position and I think last year was a fluke for Moore, he should be a first rounder.

16. Denver Broncos-Frantz Joseph, ILB, FAU
Three picks, all on defense, can we guess where the problem lies with this team?

17. Chicago Bears-Brian Robiskie, WR, Ohio State
The Bears need tackles, but won't do any good if Cutler has no one to throw to.

18. Cleveland Browns via Buccaneers-Andre Brown, RB, NC State
If Robiskie lasts here, he's gone, but since he just went I think the Browns go after a RB who could be a giant steal.

19. Dallas Cowboys-Herman Johnson, G, LSU
The biggest baby ever born in Louisiana, his size is the perfect fit for the Cowboys.

20. New York Jets-Larry English, OLB, Northern Illinois
A real project, but one that could turn out very well and Ryan knows how that process is done.

21. Philadelphia Eagles-Juaquin Iglesias, WR, Eagles
Jackson is their big speed guy, Iglesias can be their version of Joe Jurevicius.

22. Minnesota Vikings-Pat White, QB, West Virginia
Rumor has it the Vikings are enthralled with White, and so am I. I personally think he's the best QB in the draft.

23. Atlanta Falcons-Patrick Chung, S, Oregon
A big time hitter, I think he's Mike Smith's type of football player.

24. Miami Dolphins-Derrick Williams, WR, Penn State
Gives them another option, plus put him back on kick return with Ginn Jr and where are you going to kick?

25. Baltimore Ravens-Asher Allen, CB, Georgia
They have all of a sudden become desperately thin at cornerback.

26. New England Patriots-Andy Levitre, G, Oregon State
Their offensive line is beginning to show its age, watch this draft be where they get their new line.

27. Carolina Panthers-Brandon Pettigrew, TE, Oklahoma State
A terrible fall, but nothing he did, which works out beautifully for the Panthers.

28. Indianapolis Colts-Brandon Tate, WR, North Carolina
Wayne and Gonzalez are great receivers but that offense needs a third receiver.

29. New York Giants-Patrick Turner, WR, USC
Probably a bit high for turner, but those above him are 6 foot or below, Turner is 6'5".

30. Tennessee Titans-Fili Moala, DT, USC
A shame he's fallen this far, I'm a bit fan of the kid and should do well for Jeff Fisher.

31. Arizona Cardinals-Clint Sintim, OLB, Virginia
Okeafor isn't getting any younger, he's been in the league for 11 years now.

32. Pittsburgh Steelers-Duke Robinson, G, Oklahoma
An entire Oklahoma side of the offensive line, even more reason for me to hate the Steelers.

ROUND THREE
1. Detroit Lions-Mohammed Massaquoi, WR, Georgia

2. St Louis Rams-Marcus Freeman, OLB, Ohio State

3. Kansas City Chiefs-Shawn Nelson, TE, Southern Miss

4. Seattle Seahawks-Alex Magee, DT, Purdue

5. Dallas Cowboys via Browns-Sherrod Martin, DB, Troy

6. Cincinnati Bengals-David Veikune, DE, Hawaii

7. Oakland Raiders-Eric Wood, C, Louisville

8. Jacksonville Jaguars-Coye Francies, CB, San Jose State

9. Green Bay Packers-Jarius Byrd, CB, Oregon

10. San Francisco 49ers-Mike Thomas, WR, Arizona

11. Buffalo Bills-Jared Cook, TE, South Carolina

12. New York Jets via Saints-Paul Kruger, DE, Utah

13. Houston Texans-Shonn Greene, RB, Iowa

14. San Diego Chargers-Jason Watkins, OT, Florida

15. Denver Broncos-Rhett Bomar, QB, Sam Houston State

16. Washington Redskins-Trevor Cannfield, G, Cincinnati

17. Tampa Bay Buccaneers-Tyrone McKenzie, OLB, South Florida

18. Detroit Lions via Cowboys-James Casey, TE, Rice

19. Green Bay Packers via Jets-Rashad Johnson, DB, Alabama

20. Denver Broncos via Bears-Sen'Derrick Marks, DT, Auburn

21. Philadelphia Eagles-Rashad Jennings, RB, Liberty

22. Minnesota Vikings-Victor Macho Harris, CB, Virginia Tech

23. Miami Dolphins-Dorrell Scott, DT, Clemson

24. Baltimore Ravens-Darry Beckwith, ILB, LSU

25. New England Patriots-Louis Murphy, WR, Florida

26. Atlanta Falcons-Ricky Jean-Francois, DT, LSU

27. Indianapolis Colts-Tyronne Green, G, Auburn

28. Carolina Panthers-Jerry Hughes, DE, TCU

29. New York Giants-Jerimiah Johnson, RB, Oregon

30. Tennessee Titans-Jarrett Dillard, WR, Rice

31. Arizona Cardinals-Keenan Lewis, CB, Oregon State

32. Pittsburgh Steelers-Mike Mickens, CB, Cincinnati

Check it

2009-04-23T15:49:00.002-04:00

I fully endorse this: Look at this fucking hipster.

T-minus 19 days until I hit DC.

Protests try to tea bag the nation, Obama

2009-04-14T10:44:00.004-04:00

As you've heard by now, right-wing groups around the country are staging their own little "tea parties" as a protest against the Obama Administration's efforts to clean up the economic mistakes made by the now-gone, right-wing Bush Administration. Fox News has essentially been sponsoring them (and is rightly getting called out for it).

These groups essentially argue that the recent economic bailout is too large, and they've picked Tax Day 2009 as their day to protest what they see as irresponsible government spending. Check Freedom Works, one of the groups organizing these tea parties, for a list of grievances. As with any conservative "movement," this has its problems.

First, calling it a movement is probably too much. As Krugman noted Sunday in the NYT, these tea parties are "astroturf": fake grass roots events staged by powerful, wealthy interests who oppose the Obama Administration. These are just media events created by the wealthy and the powerful to try and frustrate the goals of our newly elected President and the Democratic Congress. In other words, the people who got us into this mess in the first place are trying to screw with the people who are trying to clean it up. Awesome.

Second, calling this a "tea party" is total horseshit. The Boston Tea Party was a protest against foreign governance in the colonies; our way of saying that we wanted to govern ourselves. It was about freedom, and later those same guys who threw tea into Boston Harbor also spoke in opposition of the British crown, which was punishible by death, and fought a war for their freedom. Today, the Hummer-driving, white-collar Reaganistas complain about paying taxes on their marginal income at a rate that is now lower than it has ever been. Please, Reagan-lovers, don't insult the Boston Tea Party by naming your self-aggrandizing right-wing love-ins after one of the most patriotic moments in our history. It's silly, and you make yourselves look stupid.

Last, and I can't stress this enough, these are the same ideas and people that got us into this mess in the first place. That they have the nerve to try and stage a "revolt" against the ideas and people who are trying to fix their mess is beyond absurd. Three months after Obama's inauguration, four months after their guy did the same thing, and six months after the nation told them where they can shove their destructive ideas. Words fail me.

So, if on April 15th you run into one of these groups tea-bagging their way through your town, give 'em hell. They deserve it!

"Where the hell have we been?" Wednesday

2009-04-08T13:12:00.005-04:00

My apologies to our readers (if there are any of you left) for the, oh, roughly 40-day break here at LSWTF.com. I don't know about the other contributors, but I've been busy as shit this last month (tried three cases, fun times). Really, I've got no excuse for myself. Hopefully we'll be back in full effect soon.

Without further delay:

In Vermont news: the Vermont Legislature overrode Gov. Jim Douglas' veto of same-sex marriage legislation that passed both the House and Senate last week. Douglas says this is no time for celebration; it's time to move on. Other opponents: repent, for this is a sign that the end is nigh. Everyone else: planning for the fall wedding season. My prediction: the fall foliage will have never looked so good for thousands of Vermont couples.

In international news, the crew of a U.S.-flagged ship retook their ship from Somali pirates today. Why is this not surprising to me? The captain, Richard Phillips, is from Underhill, Vermont, proving once and for all that Vermont's slogan should be "We're small, but we're fierce!"

In baseball news (and because I'm a Red Sox fan), Josh Beckett seems to have returned to form, striking out 10 Rays yesterday in Boston's 5-3 win over defending A.L. champ Tampa Bay. I know, it's the first start of the year, but I was seriously happy to see Beckett hitting 96-97 on the gun after he looked like he was tossing BP in the ALCS last year. Lester goes tonight for the Sox against Scott Kazmir.

Yeah, I bought one. Better safe than sorry.

Lastly, in news I didn't see coming, gun sales are booming in part because of the sour economy. While spending a few hundred dollars on something you may never use sounds counterinuitive, never underestimate the powerful paranoia your fellow Americans feel. Your neighbor Bill just lost his job at the factory. You could A) help him with his electric bill, if he'll let you or B) buy a gun in case Bill goes nuts and decides to steal grandma's silver. Seems most folks are choosing B. Only in America.

Bobby Jindal is Kenneth the Page

2009-02-25T14:31:00.004-05:00

I wish I had noticed this (thanks Huffington Post):

First:

And then:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAXvnJ972RE

Combine Review-Offensive Players

2009-02-23T09:43:00.004-05:00

Much to my wife's chagrin, the last two days (and the next two) the combine has dominated the TV. Of course she mentioned that she couldn't wait until we move into our new house so we can have cable in the bedroom too so she doesn't have to put up with this bullshit anymore. Luckily she's on a business trip this week so the next two defensive days I have no worry about the grumbling sitting next to me.

So the offensive prospects have come and gone and the following are my initial thoughts about players who really elevated their status, and some who likely cost themselves millions of dollars.

SHOOTING STARS

Pat White, QB, West Virginia
Now I wasn't a huge fan of his during college, I saw him more as a running QB, a Seneca Wallace or Brad Smith then anything else. He first started to convert me during the Senior Bowl, where he won the MVP, and completed my conversion this past weekend at the combine. On my own internal list, I have Pat White now the third quarterback behind Stafford and Sanchez, and he may be higher then Sanchez. He was clearly threw the best passes during the drills yesterday, and he has a poise and confidence that every great quarterback has. In the end he very well end up the best QB in this entire draft when we look back on it in ten years.

Andre Brown, RB, North Carolina State
Andre Brown was a decent college back who was hampered by injuries and playing for one of the lower level ACC teams easily had the best complete workout of any running back yesterday. He was a top performer in the 40, the bench press and vertical jump. He definitely looked the part, and because of injuries he has some fresh legs. I think he could easily be the version of Willie Parker in this class. A kid who didn't play that much in college, wasn't that productive, but his best days are in front of him.

Brian Robiskie, WR, Ohio State
He easily had the best combine of any WR yesterday. He was a top performer on the vertical, 3 cone and 20 yard shuttle, but that's not the big story. He likely caught the ball better then anyone else to go with his routes that were damn near perfect. He looked like a man among boys out there and I think he really recovered his draft stock that was hurt by playing with a freshman QB who ran the ball as much as he threw it.

Eugene Monroe, OT, Virginia and Jason Smith, OT, Baylor
Due to Andre Smith pulling his childish bs this weekend, Monroe and Smith were automatically shot straight to the top of the draft. That didn't end there though, both those boys had tremendous combines and they both look like absolute beasts. You have to love Jason Smith, a kid I'm falling in love with. When talking about his style of play, "I'm looking to physically assault somebody."

David Richmond, WR, San Jose St, Sammie Stroughter, WR, Oregon St and Mike Wallace, WR, Ole Miss
These three wide receivers stood out to me all day long. Richmond may have caught the ball better then anyone, with huge hands that just snag the ball out of the air and away from the body. Stroughter had great routes and felt like a very natural wide receiver with great instincts for the position. It almost felt like I was watching a smaller version of Anquan Boldin. Mike Wallace caught people's attention with his mohawk, then really caught their attention by turning in the second fastest 40 time so far in the combine. His athletic ability was all over the place and helped his stock considerably.

HONORABLE MENTION
QB-Mike Reilly Central Washington, Stephen McGee Texas A&M
RB-Ian Johnson Boise St, Mike Goodson Texas A&M
WR-Kenny McKinnley South Caroliona, Johnny Knox Abilene Christian
TE-Jared Cook South Carolina, Cornelius Ingram Florida
OL-Jamon Meredith South Carolina, Lydon Murtha Nebraska

CRASHING SATELLITES

Andre Smith, OT, Alabama
Apparently the childish lazy behavior that he was tagged prior to this weekend stuck even more when he announced that he wasn't going to participate this weekend because he wasn't ready, that he was behind schedule on training. In a sense he had more time than anyone else here since he was suspended for the bowl game and should have been working out then to get ready for this, but apparently he hasn't. It's also a red flag that no one really knows who his agent is.

Hunter Cantwell, QB, Louisville
To put it simply he did not throw the ball very well this weekend. I'm not sure if anyone else threw it worse since we only really got to see one group, though I know Freeman and Davis weren't that impressive either. It's quickly becoming to look like Louisville is becoming one of those programs, much like Texas Tech.

Travis Beckum, TE, Wisconsin
I remember this time last year and Beckum was thought very highly of, very athletic and most folks had him as one of the top TEs in the class. Now, I have him about 8 on my list which easily puts him into day two. He could have helped himself greatly by having a phenomenal combine, but he was just another tight end and didn't help himself what so ever.

NFL Mock Draft 2009 v 2.0 Pre Combine Edition

2009-02-10T15:32:00.007-05:00

Welcome once again everyone to the LSWTF Mock Draft. The draft order is now set and it is time to start thinking heavily on where teams are going to go, who is moving around, and what big trades we should expect to see. Last year we saw quite a few moves in the first round, I'm predicting now this year may break records in regards to how many trades you see. I'm willing to say two of the top five teams will move down or trade away their picks in some fashion.

ROUND ONE
1. Detroit Lions-Andre Smith, OT, Alabama
The Lions hired Jim Schwartz and by all accounts he is a very smart in the football sense. He knows the QB class isn't up to par this year, that what he can get later isn't that far from what he can get right here. So with that in mind I see him taking Andre Smith, continuing a trend to come of taking an offensive tackle first. Now the Lions have a great deal of picks so I'm gonna say this right off the bat, I expect them to offer their second first rounder and one of their third rounders to the Patriots for Matt Cassell.

2. St Louis Rams-Aaron Curry, OLB, Wake Forest
They drafted the son of Long last year and now they hired the defensive coordinator who unleashed hell from the defensive end position in New York. Now imagine Chris Long and right behind him, Aaron Curry. His stock is pretty high now, after the combine I imagine it will be even higher.

3. Kansas City Chiefs-Michael Crabtree, WR, Texas Tech
There is an interesting dynamic brewing in KC. You have the Patriot minded Pioli with the offensive minded Hadley, hence you end up with Michael Crabtree. Now of course this will cause all of Seattle to begin weeping into their Starbucks, but Hadley knows what he can do with devastating WRs at his disposal. Pioli knows this offense needs some playmakers and Crabtree is without a doubt the number one playmaker in this draft.

4. Seattle Seahawks-BJ Raji, DT, Boston College
This is a few spots high for Raji, but the Seahawks may learn from the Patriots and not worry if it is deemed "too high" for a player, especially when that player produces. Of course it goes without saying that if Crabtree falls to this spot Seattle will take him in an instant.

5. Cleveland Browns-Eugene Monroe, OT/G, Virginia
Let me be frank, I don't expect the Browns to stay at the number five spot. I see them moving down with the Eagles who are in desperate need of one of the offensive tackles of this draft. Mangini used his first draft in New York to stock pile picks, and that worked out pretty well. If they do decide to stay Monroe makes the most sense to me. He can play tackle or guard and they need to balance out that left heavy offensive line.

6. Cincinnati Bengals-Knowshon Moreno, RB, Georgia
I know this pick doesn't make a whole hell of a lot of sense to some people, the Bengals obviously need more defensive help then anything. Then again its the Bungles and they don't really have a running threat at the moment and Moreno may be too tempting to pass up. I could see Jenkins, Maybin or one of the tackles here as well.

7. Oakland Raiders-Jeremy Maclin, WR, Missouri
Al Davis loves one thing, speed. This would be the thrid straight year where you saw the Raiders getting some of the most devistating offensive players in college football with their first round pick. The bonus to Maclin is his return ability, which Oakland is probably already drooling over.

8. Jacksonville Jaguars-Malcolm Jenkins, CB, Ohio St
Though an inside linebacker here is tempting, the Jaguars attempted to shore up their secondary last year and it didn't work out so well. Jenkins seems to have all the traits of a sure fire hall of famer so I can easily see Del Rio pulling the trigger on this kid. Of course if one of the wide outs fall this far, I can see that happening too.

9. Green Bay Packers-Aaron Maybin, DE, Penn St
The thing that hurt the Packers defense this year was the complete lack of a pass rush. Taking Maybin over Brown and Orakpo I think will have more to do with where he played (a cold climate) then anything else. Maybin knows how to play that Packers style of defense and should meld in well, though I don't know if I see constant Pro Bowler in him.

10. San Francisco 49ers-Rey Maualuga, ILB, USC
Now many have the Niners taking the first QB, but I don't see this. If the Buccs let Jeff Garcia go I can see a reunion in his home town and allowing the younger QBs to develop. Remember Singletary is a defensive guy and how scary would it be to imagine Rey Maualuga and Patrick Willis on the same team? Terrifying if you ask me, jesus.

11. Buffalo Bills-Brandon Pettigrew, TE, Oklahoma St
They need to give Trent Edwards a tight end as a target, as this offense is moving in the right direction, I just see the TE as the glaring spot of weakness right now. I love the style of play by Pettigrew, and I think Dick Jauron will too.

12. Denver Broncos-Everette Brown, DE, Florida St
For a long time now the Broncos have been looking for a pash rush. Their rookie defensive end should have been a star this last year, but he was hurt early on. Add Brown to the other side of him and this defensive line just got very athletic and very likely JaMarcus Russell's worst nightmare.

13. Washington Redskins-Jason Smith, OT, Baylor
I've talked to my Redskins fan friends and they all seem to think defensive end, defensive end. Sorry I just cannot agree with that. They have no second round pick, and with the way their line is aging (not to mention performing) I have to go with an offensive tackle here. Jim Zorn knows the benefits of having a solid tackle (read Wlater Jones) protect your QB.

14. New Orleans Saints-Michael Oher, OT, Ole Miss
Drew Brees is what moves this offense, not McCallister or Bush. They need to make sure they protect arguably one of the best quarterbacks in the league. Hell, who knows maybe he can even open a hole up for Duece and Reggie while he's protecting the Boilermaker.

15. Houston Texans-Brian Orakpo, DE, Texas
If Orakpo lasts to the Texans I imagine I will be hearing plenty of gunfire in the streets if they make this pick. Super Mario is playing out of his mind down here and needs someone on the otherside to balance out his act. The duo of Williams and Orakpo may just be the most athletic defensive end duo in the league.

16. San Diego Chargers-Brian Cushing, LB, USC
The Chargers don't have a second round pick, so grabbing one of the top linebackers is crucial here. They'll be able to snag one of the running backs in the third round, but their linebacker corps needs a solid presence since so many go out with injury throughout the year. Cushing can play both OLB and ILB in a 3/4 I think and should be a great fit on this team.

17. New York Jets-Percy Harvin, WR, Florida
Remember that scene towards the finale of The Matrix? What do you need, weapons, and lots of them. The Jets have decent weapons, but nothing with the firepower of Percy Harvin. Hell, put him on kickoff with Leon Washington, a wildcat with Brad Smith, or any other offensive formation and the kid will make a play.

18. Chicago Bears-Mark Sancchez, QB, USC
The Bears will be salivating if Davis falls to them at 18, this is true, but I don't think the organization will let one of the QBs slip by them if they make it this far. Yes, Kyle Orton is the starter but he doesn't exactly light up the scoreboard with excitement. Drafting Sanchez gives him some time to sit for a year before Orton and get adjusted to the pro game.

19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers-Matt Stafford, QB, Georgia
Jon Gruden is no longer the head honcho on the Pirate Ship, lord knows why, so gone are the days of veteran QBs all over the place. Raheem Morris makes a statement and takes Stafford since he's still on the board. They've seen what a rookie QB can do, of course if they keep Garcia this could change as well.

20. Detroit Lions via Cowboys-Peria Jerry, DT, Ole Miss
If they still have this pick remember one key thing, their new coach is Jim Schwartz. He knows how much his success relied on Albert Haynesworth, and with Shaun Rogers gone in Detroit, he needs some inside presence on the defensive line. Now I wish the Browns would just suck it up, and take Jerry with the number five pick. I think this kid is going to be a superstar and is very close to being my favorite player in this draft.

21. Philadelphia Eagles-Eben Britton, OT, Arizona
Both tackles are over 30, one won't be healthy until training camp, and that's if they resign him. Now of course there's that chance they could trade up, but then they could just play the odds and hope that someone like Britton falls into their lap at number 21.

22. Minnesota Vikings-Alphonso Smith, CB, Wake Forest
Winfield finally got some recognition this year and was sent to the Pro Bowl, but that doesn't change the fact that the Vikings have a bit of an age situation in the secondary. Taking Smith now allows him to learn from those veterans and makes him that much better.

23. New England Patriots-Clint Sintim, OLB, Virginia
Dear god I hope they take Sintim over Clay Matthews. He has the ability to play both the OLB and ILB in the 3/4 I believe. Their job of lowering the average age of their linebacking corps needs to continue as I think Mayo is the only one without an AARP card at this point.

24. Atlanta Falcons-Patrick Chung, SS, Oregon
I'm sure many of you are scratching your heads at this, but they have two safeties who are free agents, and even then most of their safeties are a bit long in the tooth. I think Mike Smith is gonna LOVE Patrick Chung's style of play.

25. Miami Dolphins-Vontae Davis, CB, Illinois
Bill Parcells has a very interesting team being born there on the beach. One thing it needs, however, is a shut down cornerback. I think Vontae Davis can be that back, should be that back, if he manages to slip by the Bears of course.

26. Baltimore Ravens-Darrius Heyward-Bey, WR, Maryland
It's always nice to see a team take a local kid, so this makes sense to me. They need to give Joe Flacco a big tall target downfield, Mason isn't getting any younger you know. I know the initial reaction is gonna be, what about a linebacker?! There are a plethora of quality linebackers in this draft, it can wait a round.

27. Indianapolis Colts-Alex Mack, OL, Cal
Though they top three are all listed as centers, I do believe all of them can play guard and sometimes tackle as well. With the many injuries the Colts have experienced the last two years, taking the best offensive lineman on the board makes the most sense to me...and Peyton Manning.

28. Philadelphia Eagles via Panthers-Chris Wells, RB, Ohio State
Chris Wells is that relief that Westbrook so desperately needs. Westbrook hasn't been known to be the most durable running back in recent years so giving a back who can take a pounding makes sense, especially in this two running back age we seem to be coming to.

29. New York Giants-LeSean McCoy, RB, Pitt
Either Ward or Jacobs is likely out of New York via free agency, and where Bradshaw is a good change of pace back, they need another back who can stand out. In enters LeSean McCoy, as the rest of the NFC East groans at the continued pound and ground of the Giants.

30. Tennessee Titans-Hakeem Nicks, WR, North Carolina
Whether the QB is Kerry Collins or Vince Young, the Titans need to get them some weapons. Nicks is a tall, powerful, sure handed wide receiver whose style of play I would liken very much to Palaxico Burress. The nice thing is there are no reports of Nicks shooting himself in the leg yet.

31. Arizona Cardinals-James Laurinaitis, ILB, Ohio State
The fact that the Road Warrior could fall so far is a crying shame. Of course if the Browns end up with two lower end first round picks, he could come off the board to them, but then I have a conflict between the Road Warrior and Son of Matthews. The Cards are gonna lose some folks via free agency, but this makes the best sense to me.

32. Pittsburgh Steelers-William Beatty, OT, UConn
Though Big Ben gave them a bunch of credit after they won, the weak spot on this team is still the offensive line. William Beatty has been relatively unknown, but this kid is shooting up the charts since, according to one sight, he's 6'6" 300lbs and moves like a power forward.

ROUND TWO
1. Detroit Lions-DJ Moore, CB, Vanderbilt
A crime he could slip this far, my favorite seccondary player in this draft.

2. St Louis Rams-Jamon Meredith, OT/G, South Carolina
If they don't start protecting Mark Bulger they're not gonna have a quarterback left.

3. Kansas City Chiefs-Josh Freeman, QB, Kansas State
The quarterback with the biggest upside comes from a local college, bonus round.

4. Cleveland Browns-Clay Matthews, OLB, USC
Look, this is the only pick I care about with the Browns. It is a sign of a return to glory if once again there is a Clay Matthews in the linebacker corps.

5. Seattle Seahawks-Derrick Williams, WR, Penn State
They went through an entire offense of wide outs last year, this one at least gives them return ability as well.

6. Cincinnati Bengals-Michael Johnson, DE, Georgia Tech
Easily the most athletically gifted defensive end in the draft, sadly getting drafted by the Bengals ruins your career.

7. Jacksonville Jaguars-Jason Phillips, ILB, TCU
A player that is under the radar for a lot of people, I consider this an upgrade over Peterson.

8. Oakland Raiders-Fili Moala, DT, USC
Do you think Tom Cable is happy that one of his starters is Gerrard Warren?

9. Green Bay Packers-Duke Robinson, G, Oklahoma
Probably has first round talent, the Packers get a real steal with him falling this far.

10. Buffalo Bills-Eric Wood, C, Louisville
Every other AFC East team runs the 3-4, Wood is the biggest Center of the top three.

11. San Francisco 49ers-Kenny Britt, WR, Rutgers
A solid possession receiver who should make Singletary very happy with his style of play.

12. Miami Dolphins via Redskins-Larry English, OLB/DE, Northern Illinois
A 3-4 outside backer, a very hard player who should make the Parcells team very happy.

13. New York Giants via Saints-Rashad Johnson, S, Alabama
A pretty solid with some ball hawking ability, should be a good fit for that defense.

14. Houston Texans-Max Unger, C, Oregon
They're now the zone blocking team of the NFL, the perfect place for my favorite lineman in the draft.

15. New England Patriots via Chargers-Sean Smith, CB/S, Utah
Sean Smith is a playmaker, and can play any spot in the secondary, perfect for the Patriots.

16. Denver Broncos-Juaquin Iglesias, WR, Oklahoma
The Broncos need a weapon since who knows whats up with Brandon Marshall, perfect number 3 receiver.

17. Chicago Bears-Fenuki Tupou, OT, Oregon
The Bears offensive tackles resemble the Eagles' too much, broken and old.

18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers-Pat White, WR, West Virginia
Maybe hedging his bets, I'm starting to think Pat White may just be an NFL QB yet.

19. Dallas Cowboys-Herman Johnson, G, LSU
The biggest baby ever born in Louisiana, his size is the perfect fit for the Cowboys.

20. New York Jets-Louis Delmas, S, Western Michigan
A talented safety, Rob Ryan knows his defense needs those players to succeed.

21. Philadelphia Eagles-Marcus Freeman, OLB, Ohio State
Gocong and Bradley are impressive, Freeman makes it three.

22. Minnesota Vikings-Brandon LaFell, WR, LSU
The wide receivers for Minnesota currently are Berrian and...

23. Atlanta Falcons-Chase Coffman, TE, Missouri
They currently have decent tight ends, Coffman has the ability to be one of the best.

24. Miami Dolphins-Sen-Derrick Marks, DT, Auburn
Not a fan of the player, but could thrive as a DE in the 3-4.

25. Baltimore Ravens-Darry Beckwith, ILB, LSU
At best they're only gonna keep two out of the three free agent linebackers.

26. New England Patriots-Asher Allen, CB, Utah
I know, two corners in the same round, but it would make quite the tandem for them.

27. Carolina Panthers-Jerry Hughes, DE, TCU
I'm guessing they can keep Gross, but Peppers already has his bags packed. This could be the steal of the draft though.

28. Indianapolis Colts-Sean Witherspoon, OLB, Missouri
Is solid and has depth, except at the weakside backer.

29. New York Giants-Ricky Jean-Franocis, DT, LSU
They swap defensive lineman in out like Trump does toupees.

30. Tennessee Titans-Travis Beckum, TE, Wisconsin
The Antonio Gates model, more about receiving then blocking, just giving them another target.

31. Arizona Cardinals-Trevor Cannfield, G, Cincinnati
They have to start protecting the QB better...imagine what could have been if they had.

32. Pittsburgh Steelers-Tyson Jackson, DE, LSU
They tend to stockpile defensive players.

ROUND THREE
1. Detroit Lions-Cullen Harper, QB, Clemson

2. St Louis Rams-William Moore, S, Missouri

3. Kansas City Chiefs-Scott McKillop, ILB, Pitt

4. Seattle Seahawks-Shonn Greene, RB, Iowa

5. Dallas Cowboys via Browns-Ron Brace, DT, Boston College

6. Cincinnati Bengals-Adam Uiatowski, OT, Texas

7. Oakland Raiders-Victor Harris, CB, Virginia Tech

8. Jacksonville Jaguars-Mohammed Massaquoi, WR, Goergia

9. Green Bay Packers-Jonathan Casillas, OLB, Wisconsin

10. San Francisco 49ers-Nate Davis, QB, Ball State

11. Buffalo Bills-George Selvie, DE, South Florida

12. New York Jets via Saints-Drew Willy, QB, Buffalo

13. Houston Texans-Tyrone McKenzie, OLB, South Florida

14. San Diego Chargers-Donald Brown, RB, UConn

15. Denver Broncos-Dannell Ellerbe, ILB, Georgia

16. Washington Redskins-Brandon Graham, DE, Michigan

17. Tampa Bay Buccaneers-Darius Butler, CB, UConn

18. Detroit Lions via Cowboys-Shawn Nelson, TE, Southern Miss

19. Green Bay Packers via Jets-Evander Hood, DT, Missouri

20. Chicago Bears-Louis Murphy, WR, Florida

21. Philadelphia Eagles-Kevin Ellison, SS, USC

22. Minnesota Vikings-Jared Cook, TE, South Carolina

23. Miami Dolphins-Phil Loadholt, OT, Oklahoma

24. Baltimore Ravens-Keenan Lewis, CB, Oregon St

25. New England Patriots-Jeremiah Johnson, RB, Oregon

26. Atlanta Falcons-Brian Robiskie, WR, Ohio State

27. Indianapolis Colts-Mike Mickens, CB, Cincinnati

28. Carolina Panthers-Alex Magee, DT, Purdue

29. New York Giants-Ramses Barden, WR, Cal Poly

30. Tennessee Titans-Kraig Urbik, G, Wisconsin

31. Arizona Cardinals-Paul Kruger, DE, Utah

32. Pittsburgh Steelers-Derek Pegues, FS, Mississippi State

Mid Morning Fishwrap

2009-02-10T11:23:00.006-05:00

TOP STORIES

This morning Treasury Secretary Geithner laid out the administration's plan on what to do with the remaining TARP funds and other implementations. The first will be stress test for various banks. We can only assume that these "stress tests" will include such Gitmo favorites as no sleep, noise, and total darkness. The second is they have called in some...associates...to, let us say motivate secondary lenders...you know what I mean pal? The third is to treat lending like toxic waste and send it to New Jersey. The fourth involves something with mortgages, but I don't know if anyone understands that. It also creates alleged transparency and, hell lets be honest, we're becoming loan sharks to the banks and THAT is fucking awesome.

President Obama gave his first press conference last night to speak on the Stimulus Bill and other matters of his presidency. What he really spoke on, very forcefully, was the mis-comprehension of Republicans that he means bi-partisan not by partisan work on the bill.

LOCAL NEWS

Apparently the snow that happened in Houston for about twelve minutes cause some of the worst delays in airportdom in America last year.

So when prices are dropping because of the recession you would think that would effect cable and satellite companies, yeah, you would think that.

In the, well isn't this a shock, portion of the news, prosecutors are asking a judge to send Marion Berry to jail for failing to file a tax return for the eighth time in nine years.

SPORTS

A-Fraud admitted that he took steroids, probably after watching what happened to Roger Clemens, Rafi, and Big Mac when they were either silent (Big Mac) or vehement deniers (the other two a-holes). I must agree with the DFP, there is only one sure fire way to punish these players. I for one am all for the HoF committee adopting a rule or something similar denying access to anyone caught juicing.

This "mother" can't be serious when she can't decide who is worse between Alex Rodriguez and Michael Phelps. Lady, lets take a quick look at the facts shall we? One increases your athletic performance, the other is a narcotic that some folks use in religious rights. One is arguably the most selfish ballplayer since Bonds, the other went out and won eight gold medals at the Olympics. One has decided to play for the DR, the other bleeds red white and blue. Wait, back to the drug portion. One is likely to end your life, the other is gonna give you the munchies. One is done by the rare few, the other has been done by over half of the population of the United States and is only illegal due to some made up bullshit in the early 20th century. Now tell me, who is worse?

ENTERTAINMENT

The star of Drumline and husband to Mariah Carey is the new host of America's Got Talent. I would say this is ironic but The Hoff is one of the judges after all...

Well, kiss your concert going days good bye. LiveNation is buying TicketMaster in some nasty $2.5 billion deal, luckily some folks see the monopoly monster this is and are trying to stop it.

Finally, a funny video to amuse you...

Mid Morning Fishwrap

2009-02-09T11:17:00.002-05:00

TOP STORIES

Without a doubt the biggest news this weekend was not only did Barry Bonds test positive in 2003 for the juice, so did A-Fraud and 103 other ball players. I'm not what's the worst part of this story though. The fact that MLB did the test to see if there was any reason to do testing or that only A-Rod's name was released by SI. I'm with Bloody Sock in releasing the other names, but this story just proves something you all have to admit sooner rather then later.

Jose Canseco should no longer be doubted.

Apparently Chris Brown and Rihanananana were supposed to perform last night at the Grammys but couldn't due in part of Mr. Brown's tea time with police detectives. Apparently Chris Brown arrested for...well, we're not sure since it seems to change every hour. First time I read it last night it was assault and now it is some domestic violence charge...threat...I'm not sure. All I know is apparently M.I.A. stole the whole fucking show doing what she did 9 months pregnant, fuckin a.

LOCAL NEWS

An ingenious way to get out of showing up to court on your court date? Send a virus to the Municipal Court system.

The SFA School of Theater is putting on Defacing Michael Jackson and it opens this weekend. I'm not sure why, by I am insanely interested about a one act play involving race issues and the man who has no race.

Good news for some of our friends, the DC Area Jails are looking to cut costs and releasing many early. So don't expect jail time the next to you slur a cop...you know who I'm talking about.

SPORTS

In a matter of days the Lakers have gotten some revenge on the Celtics and then yesterday beat the most dominate home team in the NBA by a good margin. I thought they were supposed to get worse after that injury, not turn it up another notch. Of course when Kobe Bryant is doing jumping spin kicks to the other team it does tend to help you win games.

Larry Fitzgerald continued his dominant play yesterday and won the MVP award for the Pro Bowl. This guy is so good it's scary. The funniest thing I found was Collinsworth comparing Fitzgerald to Lynn Swann. Swann didn't even reach six feet tall and used ballet as his weapong. Fitzgerald is just a beat at 6'3 with an insane vertical, Andre the Giant sized hands, and a desire to score that would Randy Moss the greatest of all time if he had half the desire that Fitzgerald does.

ENTERTAINMENT

He's Just Not That Into You came in as the number one movie this weekend. The things that were really surprising though was how well Coraline did (yay Gaiman!) and how much ass Taken continues to kick. I've seen it, trust me it's like Liam Neeson is channeling his inner Bauer. I on the other hand saw Fanboys friday night. Let me tell you this, it is worth the hype, it is hilarious and easily on my top ten list of all time. If that doesn't do it for ya, then let me give you a lil taste....Kristen Bell shows up looking like this.

We must turn to sadder news, apparently someone thought it was a good idea to let the schmuck ruin another comic book movie.

LSWTF LOLSports

2009-01-28T11:57:00.001-05:00

What is the World Coming to?

2009-01-26T19:27:00.003-05:00

In order to cut down costs the Girl Scouts of the USA have decided to package less cookies and make boxes smaller for some of our favorite's including Thin Mints. Now I'm almost positive this news effects all of us and its a shame to see that the rising price of Cocoa and Flour have driven the Girls Scouts to give us less of our favorites.

And now a message from our guest speaker, The Cookie Monster..

LSWTF Sport LoLs

2009-01-21T18:27:00.002-05:00

This Morning...

2009-01-20T11:31:00.002-05:00

LSWTF photo coberage

2009-01-20T10:57:00.002-05:00

Gonzo 20 Hours In

2009-01-20T10:41:00.000-05:00

2009-01-20T08:38:00.001-05:00

Our own Mr. San Diego on assignment on the mall...

LSWTF Dubya Departure Celebration

2009-01-20T01:18:00.001-05:00

Happy MLK Day

2009-01-19T15:06:00.002-05:00

I know there are plenty who think it's very fitting that MLK Day is occuring a day before we have our first black president sworn in. Many believe that if he hadn't been assassinated that Martin Luther King Jr would have been the first black president if he hadn't been taken from us far too early. I'm sure he's somewhere out there smiling down at this day.

It's also the day to find the Arizona Cardinals in the Super Bowl for the first time. I should quote WaitingForNextYear.com about this...

During the Super Bowl era, of the teams that have existed for more than 50 years, only three teams hadn’t made an appearance on the game’s biggest stage. You can cross the Cardinals off that list. To quote the great George Costanza in “the contest” episode after Elaine dropped out - “And then…..there were two.”

The Detroit Lions and your Cleveland Browns.

Not gonna lie, that's fucking embarassing.

The Browns and the Lions, though you could argue that it isn't COMPLETELY true, since the Ravens won and that was the team and that you could argue that this team has only been around for a decade. Sure they have the same records, team colors, etc, but they were created like an exspansion team and have yet to have solid leadership anywhere. Hopefully Mangini and crew will change that.

Now I don't know what everyone is planning tonight, but I was thinking of a livechat to go over the last eight years and what we're expecting in the next few. Of course I'll have enough rum in me to blind a pirate, so it should be interesting enough...

2009 NFL Mock Draft V1.0 Rounds 1-3

2009-01-16T15:55:00.006-05:00

Since the deadline has come and gone in regards to underclassmen, entering and staying, so I felt it was safe enough to finally release my first mock draft for 2009. This is going to be an interesting draft to say the least. The big talent isn't the usual "skills" department, though there are a few there. This will be big in lineman, linebackers and corners. Now the order below is based on the regular season, it will change after the Super Bowl. At that time 2.0 will come out with the correct draft order, 3.0 will follow the combine.

ROUND ONE
1. Detroit Lions-Matt Stafford, QB, Georgia
The Lions have the benefit of having five draft picks within the first three rounds of this draft. This of course is due to sending Roy Williams to Dallas for a bounty of picks. Now if they are not successful at getting Matt Cassell from the Patriots I believe they will take Stafford number one. Now I wouldn't be surprised if this ends up being Mark Sanchez as I could very easily seeing him move above Stafford in the months ahead.

2. St Louis Rams-Andre Smith, OT, Alabama
Orlando Pace is getting up in the years and the Rams need to get his replacement, and this draft is the perfect opportunity to do so. I could see them going after Aaron Curry or Maybin or even Malcolm Jenkins, but I believe the teams sees the weakness they had last year at protecting the QB.

3. Kansas City Chiefs-Aaron Curry, OLB, Wake Forest
To me this is the biggest question mark in the draft. What the Chiefs do here will either shock no one or cause a furry of moves up and down the draft. I thought about Sanchez but threw it out. I thought an offensive lineman, but Pioli knows he can get that later in the draft. I went with Curry because Pioli will take the best available, and he saw what Mayo did this last season.

4. Seattle Seahawks-Michael Crabtree, WR, Texas Tech
This pick could send Matt Hasselback crying for days with tears of joy. I don't know if he's ever really had a receiving threat, let alone the talent of Crabtree. I guess its that old saying, good things come to those who wait. Of course the Seahawks are notorious about moving down and almost always out of the first round, so don't be surprised to see them move.

5. Cleveland Browns-Michael Oher, OT, Ole Miss
Let me be frank, I don't expect the Browns to stay at the number five spot. They have no third round pick and I did the trade value chart and could easily move down to 20 with the Lions, pick up their second and the Cowboys third rounder for the fifth pick. If they don't I went with Oher over Jenkins and Maualuga simply because I think their right tackle spot is a much bigger concern then corner and linebacker. Well, I should say that this is too early for Maualuga and I'm still not sold that there needs to be such a high priced corner in Cleveland with McDonald and Wright there.

6. Cincinnati Bengals-Knowshon Moreno, RB, Georgia
I know this pick doesn't make a whole hell of a lot of sense to some people, the Bengals obviously need more defensive help then anything. Then again its the Bungles and they don't really have a running threat at the moment and Moreno may be too tempting to pass up. I could see Jenkins, Maybin or one of the tackles here as well.

7. Oakland Raiders-Jeremy Maclin, WR, Missouri
Al Davis loves one thing, speed. This would be the thrid straight year where you saw the Raiders getting some of the most devistating offensive players in college football with their first round pick. The bonus to Maclin is his return ability, which Oakland is probably already drooling over.

8. Jacksonville Jaguars-Rey Maualuga, ILB, USC
I don't see Mike Peterson staying in Jacksonville after everything that has transpired this year. I do see Jack Del Rio falling in love with Maualuga, with his ability and his passion for the game. I think he'll fit in very nicely with that defense.

9. Green Bay Packers-Aaron Maybin, DE, Penn St
The thing that hurt the Packers defense this year was the complete lack of a pass rush. Taking Maybin over Brown and Orakpo I think will have more to do with where he played (a cold climate) then anything else. Maybin knows how to play that Packers style of defense and should meld in well, though I don't know if I see constant Pro Bowler in him.

10. San Francisco 49ers-Everette Brown, DE, Florida St
This will make SayHey and his clone very happy. The Niners are also a team that is in need of some pressure on opposing QBs, and Brown has a pretty decent motor in that category. I'm not sure if he'd play linebacker or defensive end in the current scheme, but I think under Singletary's wing he could become quite a factor in the NFC West.

11. Buffalo Bills-Eugene Monroe, OT, Virginia
I have the Bills take Monroe over Smith for the simple fact that Monroe is more versatile. He can play guard as well as tackle and with the history of Buffalo linemen lately, they need someone with the skill to be able to do that.

12. Denver Broncos-Malcolm Jenkins, CB, Ohio St
It should be a crime for Malcolm Jenkins to fall this far, and I don't believe he will. If he gets past the Browns at five, don't be surprised if teams start calling every team up there to get a shot at Malcolm Jenkins. Here he'd take over for Dre Bly and team with Champ Bailey in what could very well be the best cornerback duo in the entire league.

13. Washington Redskins-Jason Smith, OT, Baylor
I've talked to my Redskins fan friends and they all seem to think defensive end, defensive end. Sorry I just cannot agree with that. They have no second round pick, and with the way their line is aging (not to mention performing) I have to go with an offensive tackle here. Jim Zorn knows the benefits of having a solid tackle (read Wlater Jones) protect your QB.

14. New Orleans Saints-BJ Raji, DT, Boston College
The Saints only have one pick in the first three rounds. Thanks to Vilma and Shockey they are pretty much gunning for one star and then getting depth. I went with BJ Raji because I LOVE the idea of paring him next to Sedrick Ellis and dominating the inside of the line. We've seen what Minnesota has been able to do with two dominate defensive tackles, and I think we may see an attempt at that here.

15. Houston Texans-Brian Orakpo, DE, Texas
If Orakpo lasts to the Texans I imagine I will be hearing plenty of gunfire in the streets if they make this pick. Super Mario is playing out of his mind down here and needs someone on the otherside to balance out his act. The duo of Williams and Orakpo may just be the most athletic defensive end duo in the league.

16. San Diego Chargers-Chris Wells, RB, Ohio St
The Chargers don't have a second round pick, and likely will go for something else here, but I very well could see them snatching Beanie Wells up if he falls to 16. With either LT or Sprolles gone from the team next year, they need that second back that they've been doing since before the Jaguars and Giants made it the thing to do.

17. New York Jets-Mark Sanchez, QB, USC
This pick I'm sure will shock plenty out there. Whether Favre comes back or not I can see the Jets making this pick. They're obviously not sold on Kellen Clemens and even if Brett comes back he's gonna need a replacement. Sanchez played in LA, knows what its like being in the limelight and likely could handle the New York media and fans.

18. Chicago Bears-Vontae Davis, CB, Illinois
The Bears will be salivating if Davis falls to them at 18. For the last few years their achilles heel on defense has been that their secondary has not been able to stay healthy an entire season. Davis played locally and would be an immediate hit with the fan base. He's also a big time play maker, which should excite Lovie Smith since he doesn't really have one in the secondary.

19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers-Eben Britton, OT, Arizona
They began last year by taking Trueblood, now I think they get another offensive tackle to shore up that offensive line. The last of the real first round tackles, Gruden must do something to keep those monsters in the NFC South off of Jeff Garcia, and open some holes for Graham, Dunn and Williams. I also could see them going after DJ Moore at this spot as well.

20. Detroit Lions via Cowboys-DJ Moore, CB, Vanderbilt
I do believe that the Lions will try moving back into the top five, hopefully with the Browns (who would then select Laurinaitis here) and take one of the top offensive tackles. If that does not happen I cannot see Jim Schwartz passing up and being able to get DJ Moore all the way at the 20th pick. For me, DJ Moore is the best corner in the draft. Whenever I see this kid play it's something amazing. He's the first college corner in a long time that made me see visions of Prime Time in my head.

21. Arizona Cardinals-LeSean McCoy, RB, Pitt
I think we all know that The Edge is gonna be gone from Arizona no matters what happens this season. Hightower is a decent back, but they're gonna need someone else as he's not an every down back. Enter in LeSean McCoy who likely decided upon the draft knowing that he'd be going in the first round and had a much better chance this year then he does next year.

22. Philadelphia Eagles-Percy Harvin, WR, Florida
I do believe the Eagles saw a resurgence this year in part of DeSean Jackson. He was their first receiver since TO who was truly a playmaker and not just a possession receiver. Speed is the key word, and that's something Harvin has plenty of. He's also an extreme competitor and should get along great with the locals. Since they have two first round picks they can afford to take a shot like this.

23. Minnesota Vikings-Brandon Pettigrew, TE, Oklahoma St
Some may scratch their heads, but I feel the one key element this offense is missing is a playmaking tight end. They have decent tight ends now, but Pettirgrew and Coffman are those tight ends who play more like wideouts then the OG TEs. It also helps that this may will try to level anyone who attempts to tackle him.

24. New England Patriots-Brian Cushing, OLB, USC
Cushing is the perfect player for the Patriots style of defense. He has played many different positions at USC, and for a team that loves their players to be versatile, he's the perfect choice. Their linebacking corps is getting up there in age, I think drafting Mayo last year was a sign the Patriots are reloading their D.

25. Atlanta Falcons-Chase Coffman, TE, Missouri
Matt Ryan always played in an offense that relied heavily on a tight end and I feel that's a position they're missing on the Falcons. Their current corps are solid football players, but Coffman is a playmaker who can block and catch. I think it makes sense to give Ryan this kind of target, plus there's not much else worth taking for the Falcons at this spot.

26. Miami Dolphins-Michael Johnson, DE/OLB, Georgia Tech
talk about the perfect fit, Michael Johnson is that perfect tweener type player for the Parcells defense. If the Cowboys had a first rounder, he'd likely be gone. Their loss is Miami's gain...again. I think he should be rated much higher as all he does is makes plays, but since teams focused on him more this year his stock dropped a bit, so much the better for the Dolphins.

27. Baltimore Ravens-Darius Heyward-Bey, WR, Maryland
Joe Flacco needs weapons, lots of them, and Derrick Mason isn't exactly a spring chicken anymore. Taking the local kid is almost always smiled upon by a community and the Ravens fan base do love their Terrapins. Depending on what happens in free agency I can see them going harder after a linebacker, but as of right now I think this takes precedent.

28. Indianapolis Colts-James Laurinaitis, ILB, Ohio St
Crime, likely a crime if the Road Warrior fell all the way to number 28. Of course if my Browns trade thoughts are true, this won't happen, but time will tell. That being said, I think he'd fit in nicely with the Colts.

29. Philadelphia Eagles vis Panthers-Duke Robinson, G, Oklahoma
Some of the Eagles offensive linemen are getting older, best to take the number one guard now. If they don't if the Steelers don't snag him up, some other team very assuredly will before the Eagles are back on the board.

30. Pittsburgh Steelers-Phil Loadholt, OT, Oklahoma
We all know the struggles the Steelers have had at the offensive line this year after losing their entire right side, but they've hung in there do to superior coaching. I think you see the Steelers really attack this in the draft and short up that trenches so to speak.

31. New York Giants-Peria Jerry, DT, Ole Miss
There's not much the Giants need when you look at their roster. Who knows what would have happened if their teams was fully healthy...or not suspended for being a dumbass. You can never have enough solid defensive tackles, and we know they like products from Ole Miss so I think Peria Jerry makes the most sense here at 31.

32. Tennessee Titans-Fili Moala, DT, USC
The second straight defensive tackle, you'll probably wondering why, but you should already know the answer. I don't know if the Titans can hold on to Albert Haynesworth, and with that in mind I had to give them selecting a defensive tackle to replace or eventually replace Haynesworth.

ROUND TWO
1. Detroit Lions-Jerry Hughes, DE, TCU
People are sleeping on him, if you watch the film he should be the number one defensive end.

2. St Louis Rams-Alphonso Smith, CB, Wake Forest
I doubt Smith actually falls in to the second round, but the Rams would be fools to pass on him if he does.

3. Kansas City Chiefs-Herman Johnson, G, LSU
Still trying to get their offensive line away from AARP, you gotta get the biggest guard maybe ever.

4. Cleveland Browns-Clay Matthews, OLB, USC
Look, this is the only pick I care about with the Browns. It is a sign of a return to glory if once again there is a Clay Matthews in the linebacker corps.

5. Seattle Seahawks-Donald Brown, RB, UConn
Julius Jones, played decent, not sure if he's the answer.

6. Cincinnati Bengals-Sen'Derrick Marks, DT, Auburn
I no longer trust the Bengals to do anything intelligent, hence they take the walking bust.

7. Jacksonville Jaguars-Kenny Britt, WR, Rutgers
Does Garrard have any weapons that isn't on drugs or charges?

8. Oakland Raiders-Asher Allen, CB, Georgia
I'll be shocked if they can keep NA, if they don't they need a replacement.

9. Green Bay Packers-Sean Smith, CB, Utah
The secocndary is getting a bit long in the tooth if you know what I mean.

10. Buffalo Bills-Jared Cook, TE, South Carlina
The wide receiving corps is pretty solid now, how bout giving them a playmaking tight end?

11. San Francisco 49ers-Clint Sintim, OLB, Virginia
Another DE/OLB tweener that should fit well in the 49ers style of defense.

12. Miami Dolphins via Redskins-Jamon Meredith, OT, South Carolina
It's always defense and linemen when it comes to a Parcells draft.

13. New York Giants via Saints-Trevor Cannfield, G, Cincinnati
A pretty solid offensive line in New York, but also ones almost ready to get their AARP cards.

14. Houston Texans-Max Unger, C, Oregon
They're now the zone blocking team of the NFL, the perfect place for my favorite lineman in the draft.

15. New England Patriots via Chargers-Fenuki Tupou, OT, Oregon
Another team that has a very solid offensive line, but also one who are getting up there in age.

16. Denver Broncos-Tyson Jackson, DE, LSU
The Broncos have been trying to find pass rushing for years...they're gonna have to keep looking.

17. Chicago Bears-Juaquin Iglesias, WR, Oklahoma
Kyle Orton may be Trent Dilfer's son, but even Dilfer had weapons on occassion.

18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers-Victor Macho Harris, CB, Virginia Tech
Ronde Barber may be going to the Pro Bowl, but he'll be eating at 4pm at Dennys.

19. Dallas Cowboys-Sean Witherspoon, OLB, Missouri
You may see quite of few older Cowboys released this spring, someone has to replace them.

20. Arizona Cardinals-Alex Mack, C, Cal
Rosenthal and Grimm are offensive line guys, and this is a solid centerpiece to the line.

21. New York Jets-Brandon LaFell, WR, LSU
Does Coles or Cotchery really strike fear into you? Didn't think so.

22. Philadelphia Eagles-Shonn Greene, RB, Iowa
Westbrook has never been one stay fully healthy, why not get someone who can take the pounding?

23. Minnesota Vikings-Evander Hood, DT, Missouri
One of the Williamses may be out for part of the year due to steroids, gotta get something from ruining the beginning of the season.

24. Atlanta Falcons-William Moore, FS/SS, Missouri
Lets put it this way, I think the Falcons starting safeties played during Bush...senior.

25. Miami Dolphins-Nate Davis, QB, Ball St
I know, I know, this makes no sense, but something in the back of my head is just nagging at me that this is correct.

26. Baltimore Ravens-Darry Beckwith, ILB, LSU
Ray Lewis has been around for a very long time, and who knows if he'll be with the team.

27. New England Patriots-Patrick Chung, SS, Oregon
Rodney Harrison I believed played in the Chargers last Super Bowl, yeah, he's that old.

28. Carolina Panthers-Adam Uiatowski, OT, Texas
Word has it they can afford Peppers or Gross, not both. Can you guess which one I think they'll keep?

29. Pittsburgh Steelers-Kraig Urbik, G, Wisconsin
The construction of the new right side of the line continues at a level pace.

30. Indianapolis Colts-Ricky Jean-Francois, DT, LSU
The Colts always seem to run through defensive tackles during the last couple of years don't they.

31. New York Giants-Jason Phillips, ILB, TCU
This kid is a stud, should be a first rounder, there's no reason he should fall this far.

32. Tennessee Titans-Hakeem Nicks, WR, North Carolina
You could make the argument of who has fewer weapons the Bears or the Titans.

ROUND THREE
1. Detroit Lions-Alex Boone, OT, Ohio St

2. St Louis Rams-George Selvie, DE, South Florida

3. Kansas City Chiefs-Josh Freeman, QB, Kansas St

4. Seattle Seahawks-Andy Levitre, G, Oregon St

5. Dallas Cowboys via Browns-Ray Feinga, G, BYU

6. Cincinnati Bengals-Derrick Williams, WR, Penn St

7. Oakland Raiders-Alex Magee, DT, Purdue

8. Jacksonville Jaguars-Jonathan Lugis, C, Arkansas

9. Green Bay Packers-Vince Oghobasse, DT, Duke

10. Buffalo Bills-Brandon Graham, DE, Michigan

11. San Francisco 49ers-Graham Harrell, QB, Texas Tech

12. New York Jets via Saints-Kevin Ellison, SS, USC

13. Houston Texans-Darius Butler, CB, UConn

14. San Diego Chargers-Marcus Freeman, OLB, Ohio St

15. Denver Broncos-Javon Ringer, RB, Michigan St

16. Washington Redskins-Paul Kruger, DE, Utah

17. Tampa Bay Buccaneers-Dannelle Ellerbe, ILB, Georgia

18. Detroit Lions via Cowboys-Antoine Caldwell, C, Alabama

19. Arizona Cardinals-Worrell Williams, ILB, Cal

20. Green Bay Packers via Jets-Troy Kropog, OT, Tulane

21. Chicago Bears-Terrance Taylor, DT, Michigan

22. Philadelphia Eagles-Derek Pegues, FS, Mississippi St

23. Minnesota Vikings-Scott McKillop, ILB, Pitt

24. Miami Dolphins-Keenan Lewis, CB, Oregon St

25. Baltimore Ravens-Larry English, OLB, Northern Illinois

26. New England Patriots-James Davis, RB, Clemson

27. Atlanta Falcons-Louis Vasquez, G, Texas Tech

28. Pittsburgh Steelers-Matt Shaughnessy, DE, Wisconsin

29. Indianapolis Colts-Mike Mickens, CB, Cincinnati

30. Carolina Panthers-Travis Beckum, TE, Wisconsin

31. New York Giants-Augustus Parrish, OT, Kent St

32. Tennessee Titans-Mohammed Massaquoi, WR, Georgia

Finally, Khan, THE OG Pimp

2009-01-14T19:43:00.000-05:00

Khans Always Ridin Dirty

2009-01-14T19:37:00.000-05:00

I never forget a face...

2009-01-14T19:25:00.001-05:00

One Of The Greatest Space Battles Ever

2009-01-14T19:22:00.001-05:00

The Ricardo Montalban tribute continues...

Let them eat static!!!

This is a Tragic Day For Me

2009-01-14T19:13:00.002-05:00

Ricardo Montalban, who some of you know as that guy from Fantasy Island or Spy Kids or the First Naked Gun movie, is a man who will forever be known as the greatest villain in movie histoy. He left us today at the age of 88...spitting his last breath at thee...

Fanboys...Great Movie or Greatest Movie?

2009-01-13T12:31:00.000-05:00

Dr. Myron Rolle, MD.

2009-01-13T08:08:00.007-05:00

That's right, you heard it. THE Florida State Seminole superstar safety and mind freak, Myron Rolle, has decided to delay his inevitable NFL future, to do what no NFL'er has ever done before.......that is to utilize his Rhodes Scholarship and attend the prestige Oxford University. He plans to earn a 1 year masters in medical anthropology.

I cannot help but be proud of this kid. As you all may know, FSU does not take much pride in pumping out genius athletes, as most of them bolt to the NFL prior to their senior years (but what major college program hasn't had kids do this, other than Bobby Knights Hoosiers). This could not have happened to a nicer and more gifted kid. As desperate as I am to see the good doctor excel in the NFL next season; his long term goals of opening up a children's clinic post NFL life is more than enough reason for me to sit back and wait until 2010.

Congrats Dr. Rolle!!

LSWTF SPORTLOLS

2009-01-13T01:29:00.002-05:00

Congratulations to Jim Rice!

2009-01-12T15:36:00.003-05:00

Congrats to Jim Rice on his election to the Hall of Fame on his 15th ballot. Finally, the greatest and most feared hitter of his generation is getting his due.

"The Greatest of ALL Time"

2009-01-12T14:00:00.000-05:00

Congratulations to the "greatest player of all time" for his first ballot induction to the baseball Hall of Fame.

Dews RickeyDay Rundown

2009-01-12T13:30:00.000-05:00

(Is this worth $3.7 Million for a night?)

First I would like to add to second SayHey's notion before on congratulating the greatest of all time Rickey Henderson.

As a pseudo-fan of the late 80's Oakland Athletics (mostly for Jose Canseco though admittedly), I was able to watch the greatest of all time take bases and get into pitchers heads at-will. It was truly a sight to see.

It does hammer the point home that the baseball writers again do not deserve their votes when they have again denied someone that should have been a unanimous pick (self-righteous pricks is the term I'd go with), but they will have their final chance to prove me wrong for having no faith in them when Greg Maddux comes up in a few more years. Try giving one reason why Maddux shouldn't receive all the votes EXCEPT for the "because nobody else has" bullsh*& they've said about folks like Cal Ripken and Tony Gwynn...

This just in, Jim Rice STILL shouldn't be in the Hall of Fame!

Thought I'd make sure that was out there before moving on to the news of the day...

Leading off, it seems that President Bush is trying to leave office in the typical grace of a lame-duck by playing a bit of revisionist historian. Normally this is something that's tolerable and even accepted as the country tries to ready itself for the new chief coming into town, but given the polarizing forces that are soon to be kicked out of town, it begs the question "do we owe him a graceful exit?". Do we allow Dubya to ignore the facts of his biggest mistakes in office after leading his "unitifier" campaign the way a jilted lover would have circa late 1600's Salem Mass?

"I don't know if you want to call those mistakes or not, but they were—things didn't go according to plan, let's put it that way," Bush said.
Short answer, hell no, in my humble opinion. You do not earn the right to go out in style after pushing so much divisive politics on this nation, nor should you be given the right to sweep all those things under the rug and walk away...

In "Old World" news, Bush's British butt-boy Blair appears to be on the shortlist to take over the EU.

According to EU officials and diplomats, the impressive performance of Nicolas Sarkozy, France’s president, during his six-month spell in charge of the EU last year has strengthened the hand of those who say a big name should guide the 27-nation bloc
Interesting train of thought on this anyway, in that they feel they need a "rock-star" type leader, but why keep recycling leaders that probably wouldn't win in their own country's general elections? Smacks a bit of more of an Aristocratic Parliamentary system to me...

Finally, and probably most importantly, in a story we've been following at LSWTF for a while now... Natalie Dylan 22, from beautiful San Diego has auctioned off her own virginity as a one-night-stand online in order to pay for school. Apparently Natalie's older sister was able to pay for her own schooling after working as a prostitute for three weeks...

Bidding has gotten as high now as $3.7 million dollars...

Maybe we'll need Mr. SanDiego or Noodle to chime in on this one, but are jobs so scarce in San Diego that all 20 somethings have to sell themselves in order to pay for school?

Just can't make this stuff up!

That is all...

Happy Taco Day!

2009-01-09T10:23:00.001-05:00

Well, it has been a while since I've posted about it, but Taco day is officially back upon us. Anybody that has missed this in the past should know that Taco Day (ie Friday) is essentially time for the LSWTF Staff and friends to join at the National Press Club and "Nom" as many free tacos as possible while downing as many of their strong mixed drinks as are available...

This seems to set the tone for the weekend quite nicely most times, but I am getting away from the point of this post... The news...

Famous TV Doctor Sanjay Gupta is apparently a REAL Doctor, but that isn't even the big part of this story. Apparently he is good enough of a doctor to warrant a possible pick as Obama's Surgeon General, yet also famous enough to already have congressional enemies?

In a “Dear Colleague” letter on Wednesday, Conyers — a major proponent of universal healthcare — denounced Gupta and asked members to sign a letter to
Obama urging the president-elect not to nominate the TV personality.

Conyers also cited a Jan. 6 blog item by Paul Krugman in The New York Times. Unlike Conyers, however, Krugman does not have a problem with Gupta’s qualifications.
Krugman pointed out that Gupta engaged in a televised argument with Moore in 2007 over his movie, “SiCKO.”

Conyers is friends with Moore, a Michigan native who is an ardent backer of the legislator’s universal healthcare bill. Moore’s film made the case for the U.S. to adopt a “single-payer” healthcare system like Canada’s.

Wait, Michael Moore has friends in Congress that will freely admit they are friends? Secondly, Sanjay Gupta, as in the nice Doctor on CNN is really the most qualified person for Surgeon General?

I guess I always assumed the most qualified Dr for a position like that would be someone I had no business ever hearing about, so hearing that Dr. Gupta is a candidate is a bit surprising to me...

Sacha Baron Cohen is back in the news for his latest film "Bruno", which will apparently feature a black runway model named "Jesus" wearing a crown of thorns. Cohen always knows how to make a splash with the US Market, that's for sure...

Tiny town of 194 people apply for over $375 million of government stimulus money...

In related news, a house of 4 in Arlington Virginia are also applying for a multi-million dollar bailout in light of there being little beer left in said house, thus deeply effecting the lives of millions of DC/Beltway residents...

And finally, doncha know, Sarah Palin is back in the news "finally" (that's what it says on Drudge anyway) unloading on all those horrible people that dared poke fun at her. I say horrible people, because we all very well know that she wouldn't look ridiculous without some obvious tampering with sound bytes (ala Howard Dean's I Have a Scream speech), or jumping her with incredibly difficult or even impossible questions...

Vid can be found here, do enjoy, oh boy, I can see Russia from my house!

That is all...

The Dilema of Tonight's Game

2009-01-08T12:31:00.003-05:00

As everyone should know by now the colors I fly are Burnt Orange and White, so it pains me to see "Boomer Sooner" in this game. I want thank once again the sports writers, coaches and whoever else had a hand in giving the Sooners this game. We were essentially ONE PLAY away from this game, but I guess a whole half rather then one play makes sense...on Bizzaro.

The dilema I have tonight is this, who am I suppose to cheer for? My two best friends give the chop of the Seminole so I shouldn't be able to cheer for the Gators. Then you have Boomer Sooner and they band of ragtag rednecks who make not dress number 77 for the Longhorns look metro by comparrison. In the end all one has to do is to look to their quarterbacks to see where the problem lies.

On one hand you have former Heisman Winner (though he shouldn't have won it it should have been McFadden) who is a crocs and jean short wearing douchebag whos only redeming quality is that he brought the world THIS picture. As a QB he can't succeed past the college level and the only thing I like about him as a player is his fire and passion. He may be successful at the next level as a WR or a running back of some kind, but that's really it.

Then you have Frodo Baggins, I'm sorry Sam Bradford, the current Heisman winner (once again the award should have gone to Colt McCoy who completed damn near 80% of his passes) who I'm sorry if you haven't noticed, looks like a hobbit. No word as to whether Samwise Gamgee will be in the Sooners locker room to give an inspirational speech on carrying you up a mountain, about going left and going right, and how Goonies never die.

I guess in the end you have to decide on someone, so I have. I have made a decision on who I want to win the national title...

Vermont Catamounts Update

2009-01-08T11:56:00.004-05:00

The America East conference regular season starts tonight for the Catamounts and it could be their toughest game on the schedule.

The Cats went 9-4 during a challenging out of conference schedule highlighted by a 3rd place finish at the Rainbow Classic tournament held in Hawaii in late December. UVM was able to pick up two high quality wins in Hawaii in George Washington of the Atlantic 10 and Colorado of the Big 12.

The Cats start out tonight on the road against Binghamton who, after a rough start to the season, have started to gel and are playing as well as any team in the conference. Binghamton is lead by a barrage of transfers including D.J. Rivera who is currently leading the conference in scoring.

Vermont heads into conference play as the clear favorite to go dancing in March. A strong conference record could also improve their chances of getting a top notch bracketbuster opponent and with that another chance to show the post season committees what kind of team this is.

For the America East, the first place team gets home court advantage for the championship game and automatically gets invited to the NIT tournament.

Game time tonight will be 7:00pm and will be shown regionally on Time Warner Sports and can be watched online at www.bubearcats.tv for $5.

Dews Thursday Round-up

2009-01-08T11:21:00.000-05:00

Spent an entire day resting and trying to recover from this damnable cold with PurdueChick (who caused said illness in the first place!), but no matter what I do I'm still amongst the walking dead it seems...

That being said, please excuse any trip-ups or random rantings (well, moreso then the usual ranting of course), as it is entirely the cold/cold medicine/PurdueChick's fault...

ANYWAY, on with the news...

Hardball host and secret Hillary Clinton lover (why else you think he despises Bubba so much?) Chris Matthews has ruled out running for Senate in Pennsylvania for the 2010 election.

Gotta say I'm disappointed he isn't going to run, because I'd love to see him under the same scrutiny as he gives elected officials. Not that it isn't warranted, but it would be mildly entertaining to see him squirm a bit.

In an Illinois "Blago Bonanzo" update, Democrats have all but admitted they've been outmaneuvered on Blago's pick for Senate, Mr. Burris...

Already pegged this one to happen, so not at all surprising.

Strange news out of Minnesota concerning dog-sled races... Apparently they can be cancelled for too much snow??? As a Vermont Native, I am familiar with the concept of "too much snow" for many things, however things were rarely cancelled for it (despite all signs of logical thought pointing towards that conclusion), so I'm naturally a lil skeptical.

On a funny note, there seems to be a new fascinating trend among adults at childrens play centers. Violence!

Susquehanna Township police have been called to the restaurant on Union Deposit Road 12 times in the past year for reports of disorderly conduct, assault and theft. Those calls have resulted in 13 arrests, including six women -- five adults and a juvenile -- charged with disorderly conduct in a Saturday-night brawl.

"It's madness, absolute madness," Susquehanna Twp. Police Chief Robert A.
Martin said. Martin said he believes much of the violence stems from ongoing disputes among people who bump into each other in the restaurant. "They see each other at Chuck E. Cheese, and before you know it an argument turns into something physical."

Just awesome...

Finally, quick tally from the developing situation between Israel and Gaza (soon to include Lebanon)...

Since 2005, number of fatalities from Hamas Rockets: 14

Number of fatalities from IDF actions in Gaza: 3000+ (600+ including 2300 injured in current operation).

Sad situation for all involved...

Welcome Home Captain Caveman

2009-01-07T15:04:00.003-05:00

That's right baby, Captain Caveman is coming home to Oakland.

Now I know his time in New York wasn't pretty, but they have a dress/hair code thing going on and Captain Caveman was turned into Major Metrosexual. Lesson number one George, you don't cut Samson's hair. Look to all the complaints from Yankee fans in the coming months about how Giambi never played this well in New York.

O's Fan.....Rejected!

2009-01-07T08:15:00.008-05:00

I cannot help but notice that Oriole fan is still having trouble removing the dagger that was jammed in their backs last month. I have a feeling that dagger will be Arthur’s sword in the stone for the next 8 years. But at least there are some pieces of good news:

First, our very own Dews went on a drunken bender the day Mark Teixeira turned his back on the city of his birth and purchased a plethora of anti-Tex sites (All of which link back to this very blog and are quite funny).

Second, his wife, Leigh, appears to have studied baseballs most notable bitch of a wife, Anna Benson. According to Marky Mark, his wife is solely responsible for his decision to accept the Yankee deal. Apparently she made the decision for him. Its only a matter of time until she either sleeps with Arod or gets the herpes from Derek Jeter.

And finally, Mark Teixeira, a Baltimore native, was NEVER an Oriole’s fan growing up, he was a Yankee guy. Yes, “that guy who wore a Yankee hat to Memorial Stadium and Camden Yards, B-more native". This guy is my age, grew up in Baltimore, and was blessed to have witnessed one of the greatest players in history dawn his cities colors, play shortstop like a legend, and represent the city like a stand up guy. It would be like Willie Mays wearing a Dodgers hat at a Giants game or Dennis Eckersley shaking hands with Kirt Gibson. Think of how Cleveland fan felt when they saw their hero, LeBron James wearing a Yankee hat at a Cleveland Indians game. Outrage!!!

Call me a baseball purist, but fan loyalty and the city of your birth (or in my case, my very early youth) are intertwined. Dews is an O’s fan because he spent his childhood summer years in the beltway, Gonzo and myself are from Central/Northern Cali, Dewey a New Englander, Noodle and Miss Cleveland Park are Beltway natives, CityCat an Ohioan,SDFan, well, from San Diego, and our LSWTF virgin, PerdueChick, a Perdue resident who went to Indiana University and is still a Perdue fan (Still dont get that, but gotta bust your chops at least one more time).

What do we all have in common?? We are hometown sports fans and are die hard passionate about our teams. I cannot help but ask myself where did Tex go wrong? Was it all about the money?? And more important, should he wear body armor to every road game in B-more??

Dews Tuesday Potpourri

2009-01-06T09:33:00.001-05:00

Well damnit at least slightly MORE liked him anyway!

Let me be the first to welcome Senator Franken, regardless of the legal wrangling still to happen from the Coleman camp...

If there ever were a reason for me to go back to the Hill, Franken (and Warner) would be those reasons, so who knows, maybe I'll be reporting from there again soon.

This of course raises some fairly significant advantages for the Dems in all facets of Congress as their current advantage now rises to 59 senators, one short of the mystical "filibuster proof" majority, but I'm sure there are some moderate/more liberal senators that will be more then amenable to this new administrations needs (Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins, I'm looking at you here...).

The interesting case that still has yet to totally play out (but should a bit later today), is the situation with Illinois Senator (well, Blagojevich appointee anyway) Roland Burris and whether the new Democratic majority have the chutzpah to back up their threat of actually blocking his ascension to the seat...

The biggest question mark though of this new political majority for the Dems, is whether they will buck their recent history and actually DO something with it. They have a chance to do something special within the first 100 days of Obama's term not seen since the 73rd Congress enacted 16 major laws during Mr. Roosevelt's First 100 Days.

My guess is that republicans need not worry that their standard way of doing things will be threatened any time soon... The various factions within the Democratic party will show just how inept they are at coming together for any meaningful or lasting legislation very soon, don't you worry...

(This posting brought to you by copious amounts of cold medicine, so take that as you will...)

Tuesday Two-fer

2009-01-06T05:00:00.001-05:00

Israel's push in Gaza has entered its tenth day. And by all accounts, it's (predictably) a humanitarian crisis. Palestinian civilians are bearing the brunt of the Israeli attack: Palestinian casualties have exceeded 550, fuel and water has been cut off to hundreds of thousands, and basic medical care is hard to come by.

The stated purpose, of course, is to rid Gaza of its Hamas political leadership and to put an end to years of rocket attacks. Israel has expressly said that it has no designs on occupying Gaza (Strip, not City). But, however, there seems to be something strangely familiar, even Bush-like, about the assault. When our nation invaded Iraq, we, at least at some point, stated that our goal was to crush terrorism and promote democracy and freedom. But we went into Iraq with guns blazing, stirring up a hornets nest that still hasn't died down.

Israel, according to the spokesman I listened to on NPR this morning, aims to instruct the Palestinians that they should abandon terrorism and direct their efforts towards things like economic development - things that promote peace. But the approach, to me, is both disproportional and wholly misguided. Why not invest in better infrastructure, free economic development, and improving impoverished conditions rather than bombing folks into the stone age? Just doesn't seem right.

On the home front, we're nearly two weeks away from Inauguration Day, which we're all waiting for. And waiting for our new President will be the worst financial meltdown we've seen since the Depression. We all know that. And, we all know that the way to solve all this is to prop up our vital industries and financial services companies with huge, huge infusions of cash and credit.

Or do we? If you've been following the editorials, you'll note some folks, like Paul Krugman of the NYT, noting that one of the worst fiscal moves our country made was President Franklin Roosevelt's attempts to balance the federal budget after only a few years of deficit spending during the Great Depression. The theory goes that if he and Congress hadn't pulled back, the Depression wouldn't have last as long as it did. Therefore, the thought goes, we should not make the same mistake twice and fail to dump many trillions of dollars into our economy.

But let me play devil's advocate here for a moment, bearing in mind that I'm no economist. However, what about letting things be? At least part of the modern conservative theory of capitalist economics holds that from time to time modern economies must re-allocate resources from less productive industries to more productive industries. Our economy has recently been tied up in financial services and heavy investment in real estate. That served us fairly well after we recovered from the collapse of heavy manufacturing. If we prop up our economy now, do we in some way prevent it from transitioning to the next big thing? Should we hold up on the economic stimulus, maybe let this thing play out, regardless of the pain?

New Year New LoLs

2009-01-05T10:54:00.002-05:00

LSWTF Hibernation Season

2009-01-05T10:20:00.002-05:00

Now I know we've been scarce as the Manny market since the college football season has been over, and I wish I had a good excuse for you, but sadly there is none. With the lack of posting by anyone, including myself, we apparently went into hibernation this past month plus.

I for one went into a secret underground lair to devise a plan at eliminating those who keep the BCS still functioning and not allowing the playoffs. I know SayHey is busy with wedding plans, even if I have no idea what I'm doing as the best man except for finding affordable flights to New Orleans. Dews, well you know Dews, Dews is just being Dews...MoDews is being MoDews and Dewey...well, I think we have video footage of what Dewey has been doing...

Round The Bend Turkey Edition

2008-11-25T12:01:00.001-05:00

College Football Week 12 LoL

2008-11-24T11:30:00.002-05:00

NFL Week 12 LOL

2008-11-24T11:10:00.001-05:00

Round The Bend 11.20.08

2008-11-20T01:17:00.000-05:00

Discussion begins at 11am Eastern

Weekend That Was LOL

2008-11-17T11:55:00.004-05:00

Morning Morning NFL LOLs

2008-11-17T11:20:00.004-05:00

Weekend Predictions

2008-11-14T13:45:00.002-05:00

It is now time to make our weekend predictions in football. Since we're moving away from our daily chats and more to our usual posting you have seen in the past.

NFL
Denver Broncos at Atlanta Falcons
Houston Texans at Indianapolis Colts
Tennessee Titans at Jacksonville Jaguars
Oakland Raiders at Miami Dolphins
Baltimore Ravens at New York Giants
Detroit Lions at Carolina Panthers
Philadelphia Eagles at Cincinnati Bengals
Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers
New Orleans Saints at Kansas City Chiefs
Minnesota Vikings at Tampa Bay Buccaneers
St. Louis Rams at San Francisco 49ers
Arizona Cardinals at Seattle Seahawks
San Diego Chargers at Pittsburgh Steelers
Dallas Cowboys at Washington Redskins
Cleveland Browns at Buffalo Bills

NCAA
(22) Cincinnati @ Louisville
Indiana @ (7) Penn State
(10) Ohio State @ Illinois
(4) Texas @ Kansas
(13) Georgia @ Auburn
(16) BYU @ Air Force
(17) North Carolina @ Maryland
Cal @ (23) Oregon State
(24) South Carolina @ (3) Florida
(9) Boise State @ Idaho
(12) MIssouri @ Iowa State
(6) USC @ Stanford
Mississippi State @ (1) Alabama
Troy @ (19) LSU
(8) Utah @ San Diego State
(25) Tulsa @ Houston
(11) Oklahoma State @ Colorado
Boston College @ (20) Florida State

I hate you, NFL

2008-11-13T22:55:00.003-05:00

I have grown steadily more ambivalent about football for many years now. The professional game, to me, no longer seems like a sporting event so much as a giant media spectacle. Pardon me if I'd like football more like Rudy and (a lot) less like Any Given Sunday.

And, right now, the Pats have roared back to tie tonight's game against the hated Jets. It's a great game. But, I can't watch it. It's on the NFL Network, and my cable company doesn't offer that channel unless we pay more. So, yes, more affirmation that the NFL is quickly shifting away from promoting a sport and moving quickly towards just being a media spectacle. Way to try to grift more money from your fans. Good work, you bastards.

At least we have Senator Leahy (and many others) calling the NFL for its greed.

11:32 Addendum: the game is going into overtime. Eff you NFL.

The Brand New Feature

2008-11-13T13:24:00.004-05:00

We here at LSWTF have noticed the decline or any responsibility and or dedication on our part to do anything of value on the blog. We could blame it on the post-election concussion syndrome, or the football season. In the end they are all excuses so expect to see many changes in the coming weeks, including actual updates on a regular basis.

Today I give to you my newest venture, LSWTF LOLs.