Monday, November 26, 2007

A Man's Number One Item This Christmas


That ladies and gentlemen is the Stanley Hand Tools FUBAR. It is the 4 in 1 tool for splitting, bending, prying, striking, and pretty much every other destructive construction job known to man and the gods. If you have something that you want to destroy, only the FUBAR is the tool that is completely up to the task.

Look at this thing, I haven't seen an ingenious idea as big as this since the LOBO in World War Z. I know for me, this would be my first weapon of choice in the upcoming zombie apocalypse. It's tough, versatile, and only weighs 4 pounds so it is easily used as a anti-zombie weapon. Plus the name alone knows that it means business, FUBAR. Even brain dead zombies will tremble at the very sight of the FUBAR.

Ladies, and some men, do yourselves a favor. Put down the big screen TVs, the authentic jersey, or game tickets. THIS is the item that you should get your man this holiday season. May the gods bless the individual who designed and more importantly named this beautiful piece of weaponry.

7 comments:

Dews said...

wow... That thing is amazing!

my only wish would be to have more opportunity to use something like that...

SayHey Kid said...

I want I want......I need I need!!!

What will the tool makers think of next??

Dewey, Cheatem, & Howe said...

Question of the day: when do MLB tickets go on sale? Bleacher seats are the best Christmas gifts, unless they are tickets to Fenway or Yankee Stadium, cause those require blood tests, your first-born child, and a mortgage.

SayHey Kid said...

Tickets generally go on sale during the middle of spring training i believe.

Tickets to Fenway and Yankee stadium require a sworn oath of allegiance and your DNA for cloning future fans.

Citycat said...

So... you're saying you want me to sell the game tickets and return your Brown jersey and take the big screen TV off the "first to buy" list and just get you this??

Done!

Shane Rollins said...

wooah there, certain things are already bought so it is within my right to suggest this for OTHER people...lord knows I'll buy one myself.

Dews said...

Open mouth, insert foot...

:)