Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Gonzo's Gazebo or Only Closers Get To Drink Coffee

Good morning everyone, I've rested on my laurels far to long here in Houston. While I'm not on the vacation Dews is on, I have been on my own personal vacation more or less since I arrived in the Lone Star State due to the fact that I seem to lack employment. I so far have one lead, one BIG lead, but until that transpires I may just have to go after one of the many Lids Assistant Manager jobs I see on Craigslist.

FRC claims this may have been your last father's day pops.
Cause, as we all know once you start letting dem homisexals marry then no one needs a father, mother, dog, cat or even a set of brass balls. No more ties, bad aftershave or children cooking your burnt pancakes, that day is done and you can thank dem pillow biters for it! Yeah, just like how inter-racial marriage was going to do the exact same thing.

Lying for Jesus should be the shirt worn by the majority of Dubya's Presidential Appointees.
God agrees with me, or that's what I'm interpreting that thunder to mean outside.

The Texan Republican Committee passed a theocratic platform for 2008.
I am saddened by this since it literally happen two blocks from me and the only thing that saved them was my inability to stop laughing at what apparently looked like Sadie Hawkins dance with the amount of same outfit wearing couples I saw outside the George Brown.

Bigotry is alive and well in Pennsylvania and it's House.
Someone needs to tell sparky that not every American believes in Jesus, hell many of the founding fathers were diests not Christians and so many would have you believe. Then again I always saw more stars and bars in PA then I ever did in VA, I'm thinking ambush.

eBay will save us from a recession.
Of course that's what John McCain believes because eBay's CEO advises him on financial matters and if I was her I'd tell him the exact same thing. It makes sense, Republicans of all shapes and sizes can sell their confederate and Nazi items to others who don't have access, it could help the south after all.

Once again the administration has used executive privilege to block investigations into naughtiness.
I don't know when the Democrats of Congress are going to grow a pair of brass balls, but it needs to happen before the year is out. The constant blocking of any investigation into any wrongdoing by an administration that thinks it has ultimate power goes completely against the checks and balances the founding fathers put in place at the beginning and would make them sick to their stomachs right now.

Shaq lets Kobe know what the rest of the world is thinking.
It's true, I thought Kobe would put on a Joradn-esque type of performance against the Celtics. Instead he choked worse then Mama Cass and got completely schooled by Paul Pierce of all people. Kobe, the epitome of my of a spoiled brat, will one day have to resign himself to the fact that he can't win the big one by himself.

Dewey and CityCat should love this defense by an attorney in a trial about a porn king.
Use the community standard, excellent idea prosecution. Now allow us to show you Google's stats and what people search for. Oh, no one lives the Beaver's lifestyle anymore you ignorant frack, next case.

Once again the administration puts a halt on any plans to have any kind of oversight in Iraq.
The Army attempts to fix the clusterfuck that this administration and the previous sessions of Congress created only to be stopped by those being controlled by their corporate puppet masters. Howard Hughes was once brought before Congress on the charges of war profiteering, I wonder who in Congress in 2009 will have the pair to do the same to the CEOs of Haliburton, KBR, Blackwater and the like.

The IG makes recommendations to the DOJ that we all could figure out.
Conyers has asked Mukasey to implement them immediately. Obviously he didn't get the memo from Dubya's people that this administration will do what they want, when they want and how they want to do it since obviously no one is going to do a damn thing to stop them from doing it. Saddest thing of all, am I wrong about that last sentence at all?

The judge hearing the case about Miers' contempt asked why don't they just arrest these people.
There are many reason, I'm sure many are political, but in the end I think it comes down to one thing that they are lacking.

Finally we lost a great mind and man yesterday when George Carlin passed away. I can't seem to bring myself to write up a long, lengthy and tear gushing recount of how this man's wisdom and comedy shaped me when I first heard him. A lot of what you see today is due to men like George Carlin, a man who probably gets as much credit for LSWTF then any comedian out there. RIP Mr. Carlin, you're gonna be missed.


Cristin said...

As someone who deals with search on a daily basis, I could have told you long ago that our country is made up of sexual deviants who are far more concerned with orgies than watermelon. If you're not careful, you'll find yourself preoccupied with whether or not the person standing next to you is the one who is obsessed with "sex with a robot" or the logistics of how someone goes about "f&@*ing in outer space." And those are some of the less head scratching ones.

Dews said...


Cristin, you just basically commented on about 75% of the articles I've written over the past year...

What does that say about me?