"Where the hell have we been?" Wednesday

My apologies to our readers (if there are any of you left) for the, oh, roughly 40-day break here at LSWTF.com. I don't know about the other contributors, but I've been busy as shit this last month (tried three cases, fun times). Really, I've got no excuse for myself. Hopefully we'll be back in full effect soon.

Without further delay:

In Vermont news: the Vermont Legislature overrode Gov. Jim Douglas' veto of same-sex marriage legislation that passed both the House and Senate last week. Douglas says this is no time for celebration; it's time to move on. Other opponents: repent, for this is a sign that the end is nigh. Everyone else: planning for the fall wedding season. My prediction: the fall foliage will have never looked so good for thousands of Vermont couples.

In international news, the crew of a U.S.-flagged ship retook their ship from Somali pirates today. Why is this not surprising to me? The captain, Richard Phillips, is from Underhill, Vermont, proving once and for all that Vermont's slogan should be "We're small, but we're fierce!"

In baseball news (and because I'm a Red Sox fan), Josh Beckett seems to have returned to form, striking out 10 Rays yesterday in Boston's 5-3 win over defending A.L. champ Tampa Bay. I know, it's the first start of the year, but I was seriously happy to see Beckett hitting 96-97 on the gun after he looked like he was tossing BP in the ALCS last year. Lester goes tonight for the Sox against Scott Kazmir.

Yeah, I bought one. Better safe than sorry.

Lastly, in news I didn't see coming, gun sales are booming in part because of the sour economy. While spending a few hundred dollars on something you may never use sounds counterinuitive, never underestimate the powerful paranoia your fellow Americans feel. Your neighbor Bill just lost his job at the factory. You could A) help him with his electric bill, if he'll let you or B) buy a gun in case Bill goes nuts and decides to steal grandma's silver. Seems most folks are choosing B. Only in America.