Friday, August 24, 2007

Top Ten Movies:Movies That Should Have Remakes

We all have seen it coming for some many years now, Hollywood is out of ideas. They continually do remakes of movies that they really shouldn't do, with a few exceptions (see The Departed). So I got to thinking, what movies SHOULD they do remakes of? Now mind you most of this list in 80s movies (one exception) but let me hear your thoughts on the matter.

10. Solarbabies
Original plot-In a future where water is scarce on the Earth, we find a group of mostly teenagers living at an orphanage. It is run by the despotic rulers. The group plays roller hockey and is quite good. Finding an orb of special power, they find it has unusual effects on them. They escape from the orphanage (on skates) and try to cross the wasteland looking for a place they can live free as the stormtroopers search for them and the orb.
I have always enjoyed this movie, and I believe it was just recently re-released on DVD. I put it on here now because you could put some X Games people as stunt folks and really make the game interesting. The new stars-Zac Efron as Jason, Jared Padalecki as Darstar and Anna Paquin as Terra.

9. My Science Project
Original Plot-Michael and Ellie break into a military junkyard to find a science project for Michael's class, and discover a strange glowing orb which absorbs electricity. When the orb begins to blend past, present, and future, its up to Michael and Ellie to stop the orb and save mankind.
This is a guilty pleasure of mine and I do own the DVD. Great cameo by Dennis Hopper and also staring Fisher Stevens, this movie had great potential. They tried to stretch what lil budget they had and ended up looking a lil corny at places, with the attempted Dinosaur and what not. With today's technology you could make it an amazing ride, hell give it to disney and make it a Family film if you like. Then again you could make it into a Waxwork type movie and and make it a bit riskier, but we have plenty of those movies on this list so we'll stick to family friendly, comedy, chaos run a muck. New Stars-Miley Cyrus as Ellie, Lucas Grabeel as Vince and David Henrie as Michael.

8. The Howling
Original Plot-There is a serial killer on the loose and Karen White is the only reporter he communicates with. After a near fatal encounter with him at a sex shop, she is ordered to take a vacation. The killer was killed by Police, but Karen discovers that he came from a tiny community in the woods and that's where she decides to vacation with boyfriend Chris. Big mistake, because he was an outcast of a pack of Werewolves who is trying to keep a low profile.
The Howling spawned many sequels, some good some not so good, but in a day in age where Horror is gore and we have lost track of our traditional monsters, why not go back to a good werewolf movie. We haven't had one of those in a very long time, well where he was the sole monster that is. New Stars-Drew Barrymore as Karen, Rory Cochrane as Eddie and Kevin Bacon as Chris

7. Dreamscape
Original Plot-A government funded project looks into using psychics to enter people's dreams. When a psychic dies in his sleep from a heart attack Alex Gardner becomes suspicious that another of the psychics is killing people in the dreams somehow and that is causing them to die in real life. He must find a way to stop the abuse of the power to enter dreams. Also has something to due with the President and his dreams of disarming and ending the Cold War.
You could do much with the dream sequences, think The Cell, and how awesome those scenes were. You could also go with the conspiracy angle route that our government is trying to control folks through dreams etc etc etc. New Stars-David Boreanaz as Alex, Jim Broadbent as Bob, Brent Spiner as Doctor Novotny and Noah Taylor as Tommy

6. Bachelor Party
Original Plot-Rick Gassko is about to marry. Her parents hate him, her old boyfriend hates him, they all have money and he gets a cut of the crap games on the catholic school bus he drives. His friends decide to give him the bachelor party of all bachelor parties with an expensive hotel, booze, movies and hookers. As the players catch wind of the elements of the party, each adds a little monkey wrench so that one set of hookers ends up giving demos at the bride's shower, the brides friends end up dressed as hookers in a room with a number of non English speaking Japanese business men, hilarity ensues.
Now some may say that this movie should not be touched, and I could agree with you but hear me out. I say either give this to Judd Apatow or Kevin Smith and see how far this thing would go. Hell, maybe even a collabiration of Apatow, Seth Rogen and Smith would make this the funniest movie of all time. New Stars-Seth Rogen as Rick, Jason Mewes as Jay, Ben Affleck as Cole, and Alyson Hannigan as Debbie

5. Dune
Original plot-In the far future, a duke and his family are sent by the Emperor to a sand world called Arakis from which comes a spice that is essential for interstellar travel is located. It is only located on Arakis also called Dune. The move is designed to destroy the duke and his family, but his son and wife escape and seeks revenge as he uses the world's ecology as one of his weapons and becomes the Kwisatz Haderach.
I'm a die hard Dune fan, and while I enjyo David Lynch's Dune, it's still not Dune. Sci-Fi got close, but they had a small budget and so things look...goofy. With the success of Lord of the Rings it is far time that the Sci-Fi equivalent of LOTR gets the same treatment.
New Stars-Shia LaBeouf as Paul, Famke Janssen as Jessica, Eliza Dushku as Chani and Jensen Ackles as Feyd

4. The Road Warrior
Original Plot-A former police officer is now a lone wanderer, traveling through a devastated Australia after a nuclear war looking for now-priceless fuel. He lives to survive and is none frustrated when he finds himself the only hope of a small group of honest people running a remote oil refinery. He must protect them from the bike gang that is terrorizing them while attempting to transport their entire fuel supply to safety.
Some may call me a heretic for this, but I think it is high time we had a post-apocalyptic movie involving bad asses, oil, and mutant freaks. Update it, maybe even put it in America and let some big name action director make it into one of our finest guilty pleasures.
New Stars-Jason Statham as Mad Max, Steve Buschemi as the Gyro Captain, Lucy Lawless as The Warrior Woman and HHH as Lord Humongous

3. The Warriors
Original Plot-New York City. Home to 7,000,000 people,at night the city is run by ruthless street gangs. One night at an all gangs meeting, the leader of the Riffs, Cyrus, makes a speech and creates a plan to unite all the gangs of the city. One gang strong enough to overpower the police. But suddenly he is shot and a gang called The Warriors are framed by Luther, leader of the Rogues. Now they have to return to Coney Island, escaping from 20,000 policemen and 100,000 sworn enemies. They got one way out. They got one chance. They've got one night.
A dirty pleasure for all B Movie enthusiest, again I bring you more distopian movies. You could include some great fight scenes, maybe add in some social commentaries about the gang life like Boyz In The Hood, and really let your hair hang down. It's also a movie about journey, discovering who you are and could be interesting to see some folks take on it in today's world.
New Stars-Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Swan, Anton Yelchin as Ajax, Megan Fox as Mercy and Michael Rossenbaum as Luther

2. The Killer
Original Plot-In this bloody tale of loyalty and friendship, is the story of an assassin, Jeffrey Chow who takes one last job so he can retire and care for his girlfriend Jenny,a lounge singer, who he accidentally blinds her during a gunfight. When his employers betray him, he reluctantly joins forces with a cop, Inspector Lee, the one who has been pursuing him. Together, the new allies face the final confrontation of the gangsters out to kill them.
A beautiful Chow Yun Fat movie, let Martin Scorsese remake this. Actually, this is probably too much action and not enough intriuge for Scorsese so let another director make it, maybe the guy who did The Transporter or something. You can have it take place anywhere in the world if you like, though it would probably be LA or NY.
New Stars-Vin Diesel as Jeffrey, Mandy Moore as Jenny and Robbie Gee as Lee

1. The Running Man
Original Plot-Ben Richards is a cop who is framed for a massacre and is sent to prison. He breaks out with some other inmates. He tries to escape but the woman whom he dragged into his plan turns him over to the authorities. Damon Killian, who is the host of THE RUNNING MAN a game show wherein convicted felons are given the chance to run to freedom but have to elude the stalkers, wants him to be the show's next contestant. After being brought to Killian he reveals to Richards that his two friends who were in prison with him and who broke out with him have been caught, so unless Richards does the show they will. But on the night of the show, Richards is set to go but Killian also reveals that Richards two friends are going with him and the race is on.
I watched this movie last night and it is what spurned this particular column today. The Running Man, where corny, is also a great movie. It gets scarier as the world progresses the way it does and the possibility of something like this happening becomes more real as the days go by. I think you could tame down the corny portions and really make it a run for one's life.
New Stars-The Rock as Richards, Salma Hayek and John Travolta as Killian


SayHey Kid said...

Bachelor Party and The Warriors is being remade.

In fact, your boy Kap Penn was in a tv remake, Bachelor Party- Las Vegas.

Dews said...

Remake an Ahnuld movie??? Thats preposterous!