Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Church of Dews

I believe I have found my true calling in life.

And no, it didn't require getting really really drunk and finding some Gold Discs in the woods, nor discovering my "powers" after spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on auditing to become a super-thetan, nor even confessing to all the bad things I've done over the course of my life (I know, weirdest one so far right?).

No, the call to religious vision has come from realizing just how much money I shall need to make another move possible!

Call it the "Savings Account Doctrine", or "Savings Ratio Doctrina"... Amen...

The underlying principle of "The Way" (as I'm told is a good title), is "Green is Good", or "Viridis Est Bonus"

In all manners, follow the Green. This is the only path towards true happiness.

Money = Green
Grass = Green
Trees = Green
Mt. Dew = Greenish (thus attempting to be good)

I shall be setting up a paypal account shortly for donations to the Church of Dews. Usually enlightenment takes a while, but we can work out a payment program to assist you in your journey towards enlightenment.

And yes, this strange looking smiley face is a prototype symbol for the church... I may change it at some point though.

3 comments:

SayHey Kid said...

Thats blasphemous Will.....

But isnt money considered the root of all evils?? Not trying to de-validate the Dew-alpacy or anything like that =).

Also, your religion could be considered hippie pinko seeing you added all that green earth stuff. you damn terrorist!

Side note- who do i make my donations out to??

Livingamongmorons said...

I think that, in the end, you'll find out that money is just about the most worthless thing out there. Not trying to be excessively deep or anything, but really, the pursuit of wealth is just about the most pointless way to use a lifetime that I can imagine.

Dews said...

BLASPHEMY!!!!