Friday, November 23, 2007

Black Friday...or why you should worry about Mike Huckabee

Good morning folks, I hope everyone enjoyed their thanksgiving. I know myself and some of the faithful LSWTF readers broke bread, drank some beers, watched some football, died hard, and managed not to burn the backyard down while operating an electrical fryer in the middle of a thunderstorm. Of course when I think of Thanksgiving I really only think of one thing...
Wait! We cannot break bread with you. You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, and you will play golf, and eat hot hors d'oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They said do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller....And for all of these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.

I did audition to be an extra at Camp Chippewa as it was filmed near by where I was living at the time in 1993. Sadly I did not look like "those guys", definitely not blue blood enough. I didn't have the right Hitler Youth look to me so my goal of meeting Christina Ricci and wooing her as if I was Ric Flair was dashed. That is neither here nor there, back to the story at hand.

AlterNet has a great article posted about the five things Republican Presidential Candidate and former Baptist Minister Mike Huckabee doesn't want you to know. I honestly knew a few of these, but not to the extreme extent that they went into. It is important for folks to know, be it liberal, conservative, or scientologist as this man is picking up steam and could get that Dubya vote the right is trying for.

I'll go over the five things they brought up and give my thoughts briefly, read the article if you want more of an in depth report.

1. Clinton Conspiracy Theorist and Rapists
Mike Huckabee is one of those people who believe the Clintons are nothing more then a big southern crime family. He believed it to the extent where he pardoned a serial rapist because he on those type of folks believed the Clintons framed him in the rape of their third cousin or something. He then went on to rape more women, this is definitely one if not the biggest skeleton in his closet.

2. His Christian Right Ties
Most Republican candidates have to win over the hardcore right wing of the right wing. Mike Huckabee is a former minister known for his hellfire and brimstone preaching. In short, this man is the hardcore right wing. He's a man, much like the one we have now, that believes judgment day is close at hand. This is not the kind of man you want leading the most powerful nation in the world.

3. Minutemen Hate Huckabee
The only redeeming factor that he has going for him in my view, other then his Colbert bump, is he is not so iron fist Soviet Union about illegal immigrants. He understands that it is ridiculous to kick out parents while leaving their children here to be cared for by nobody. I can give him the respect he deserves in that regard.

4. Tax Plans For Xenu!
Mike Huckabee has signed on to the FairTax plan being promoted by Atlanta-based radio host Neil Boortz which would end the federal income tax by replacing it with a federal sales tax and a monthly check from the government to offset that. It is widely rumored that Scientology created this scheme to get back at the IRS for not granting them religious exemption tax status. Either way, it would lead to a huge failure in our economy and Huckabee is probably supporting it to lure Libertarian voters who hate the income tax.

5. Government and Faith Health Care
Huckabee held up a retarded 15 year old's abortion after being raped by her stepfather. He tried to claim some bs over the state's constitution and what not, but the courts would never buy it. Thankfully a private party took care of the cost of the abortion, but Huckabee got federal money out of it which was basically a payoff to do things correctly and under federal standards. So you could expect a great deal more of Terri Schiavo type cases making the news when God has say over your health care.


Kim said...

FYI-I worked for Huckabee when he was Governor of Arkansas! He's an awesome man. and as for the Clinton stuff, there are soooo many illegal things Clinton did while in Arkansas!

Shane Rollins said...

He seems like a very nice man whenever he's been on Colbert. But releasing a serial rapist because he was convinced it was a Clinton Conspiracy does not show good judgment. They're politicians, they are all criminals in one way or another.

Though I will say this, he does seem the best choice out of the current crop of Republican Candidates.