Monday, January 7, 2008

Let's Duel BROTHER!

Last night was the premier of NBC's new hit show (read the writer's are on strike and we're scrambling) American Gladiators. Don't let it bother you that NBC has thrown out any originally series idea after they came up with Heroes and if you don't believe me I'll point you to Bionic Woman, Knight Rider, and as we all should be expecting any day now Bewitched, Hawaii 5-0, Dallas and of course LA Law. They don't need actual scripts for these shows, they'll just use the original scripts. I'm getting sidetracked though this post is about the Immortal and Metro Man.

CityCat and I watched American Gladiators last night, and it was enjoyable for the most part. It kept enough of the old games, introduced some new ones, but it did try a bit too hard to make each competition a story of personal story and triumph. If it wasn't the woman who was doing it for her kids (until she blew her knee out in the first event), to the Marine, to the man who was supposed to be on the last AG but got stuck in LA Traffic. These were fine, and there were some bright spots on the Gladiator side. Wolf, Toa and Crush are all decent and entertaining Gladiators. The problem was the "reporters".

Hulk Hogan and Laila Ali were the "sideline reporters" and brought as much to the table as Kate Moss does to an all you can eat buffet. Laila Ali is fair, no one expects much from her, and it's nice to see her stint on Dancing With The Stars brought her such a successful position. Hulk Hogan though has been doing promos for years and I do expect a bit more from the Huckster.

While watching this I began to wonder, which new show has the worst host. A few weeks back ABC debuted their new game show Duel, hosted by ESPN's Mike Greenberg. Now I listen to Mike and Mike and it's a decent enough show. It's not Jim Rome, or even the Heard, but it is at least better then DC Local radio and Stephen A Smith. So ABC choosing "Greeny" to be their host for a game show was a bit odd.

We watched the initial night of the show and I honestly though Ben Stein would have been a better host since he has a rider range of emotion when he speaks. To be honest Greeny was drool, boring, and just didn't come across well on screen, much like the English Patient. So back to the point, as I watched Gladiators I began to wonder, who was the worse host, Hulk Hogan or Mike Greenberg?

If we go to the tale of the tape Hogan is a twelve time world champion, 6'7", 285lbs and has stared in such classics as Mr. Nanny, Santa With Muscles, and the Oscar worthy 3 Ninjas:High Noon at Mega Mountain. He has his own reality tv show, Hogan Knows Best, and was a founding member of the new World order.

Mike Greenberg is known, at least on the radio, as a metro man, a bit of a sissy, someone who isn't completely established in Manliness. He has his own radio-show that is also shown on ESPN2 in HD, has had a role in Tilt, an upcoming role on The Guiding Light, and has hosted Sportscenter. He has been rewarded with Mike Greenberg Day in Vermont after he milked a cow on the radio, and has called the the play by play on Arena Football as well as the JV Game of Monday Night Football.

Both of these men know how to speak in front of a camera, they have done it their entire professional careers, why then were they so god-awful on Network television?

There are plenty of theories as to what happened to these to thespians, was it the Network hiring these folks for their personality and name recognition and then told them they were to act like robots? I mean I think I only heard Hogan say Brother twice last night and we know that's a flaw in the programming. Are they actually clones whose personalities weren't completely implanted before the shows were recorded? Then there is the scarier possibility, they are just mailing it in and getting a paycheck.

That better not be true, brother, that's not the American way jack! You have to say your prayers, eat your vitamins, believe in yourself, talk about the no good Jack Tunney dude. Perhaps Hogan could take Greeny and teach him how to be a Hulkamaniac with the training, vitamins and prayers, and if Greeny is afraid of needles no worries brother, they have the cream and clear nowadays.

Of course the real solution is to just go so far out in left field and get a host the viewing audience would never suspect. Did anyone think Bob Saget or Bobby Walk Like A Man's World would be successful game show hosts? I honestly think there is only one person who is capable and qualiefied enough to host American Gladiators, cause let's be honest Duel sucked as a show and should just die now, and he's from PARTS UNKNOWN!!!!

1 comment:

SayHey Kid said...

Dont forget Hogans other golden movie, No Hold Bars!!! Its all about Rip baby!!

I dunno, never really liked the first AG, but then again, I never liked Joe Theesman either. There was a reason AG was canceled way back when....

I agree, Its tough to distinguish between Greeny and a cardboard cutout. But thats his appeal on M&M, which I think is a great show. No Rome like you mentioned, but still a great show.