Java & Fish Wrap 07.31.08

I woke up this morning at 5:45 central, that's 6:45 eastern for you DC folks. Now this may not seem like a big deal, but try to remember that those of us supporting those who are engaging the bar exam have averaged just as little sleep as the future lawyers of America. Mainly because our home has become Alpha base, I've become a taller Bobby Flay and have been mainlining coffee like a troglodyte in a Jersey diner. You may think the madness is over but I say nay, Texas is three days and today is the final day. Tomorrow morning we all may be say yeah, this is my new fucking hangover, all my friends got the same fucking hangover so what?! A cool thing for me though was last night getting to sit behind a legend, Ken Griffey Jr, and see him hit a monstrous shot out of the park. Then again every home run, and there were plenty last night, was a fucking bomb last night.

That being said tomorrow's edition will either be really early and under the extreme influence of alcohol or very late and subject to hangover.

If there is no sign worse then John McCain is floundering, despite bs polls, is that some Republicans appear to be voting for Obama in November.

I'm almost not in favor of this plea deal as I think it should be treated as if he was drunk when he hit the constable. Wanting him to talk to kids about the dangers of driving while talking on the cell is nice, but they'll be to busy texting on their cells to really pay attention.

Rumors of a possible change of the face of Alaskan politics continue to circulate but this reporter likes to hold on to that age ole saying, I'll believe it when I see it.

McCain's new ad attacks Obama's celebrity by likening him to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, which makes no sense unless he's trying to call Obama spoiled, rich, white trash on a path of self destruction...which could have worked during McCain's primary of 2000 but likely not now.

Obama's camp calls Ludacris' lyrics offensive in regards to certain things he calls Dubya, Hillary and McPOW in the song. I however think it's a brilliant song and don't actually see anything offensive in the song.

McCain attempts to call Obama out of touch while still believing that we should be in Iraq, mistaking countries almost DAILY, and thinking that Dubya has a good approval rating.

Though the Pudge deal to NY surprised many, and put Farnsworth in the perfect city for him, this rumor has me scratching my head even more so. Though, in the past, any trade these teams work together on works out phenomenally for both teams.

As if there wasn't enough fighting in the West Bank, apparently now they're fighting amongst themselves.

The only thing I really care about in this story is the kava, described as a mildly narcotic drink. I think Dews and I may have to take a vacation in Tonga in the future.

Stop the presses, the champ is here in Houston some time today. Of course it's nothing public, but hey I don't get to see politicians all the time anymore.

Watching the game last night was a bit surreal. At one point in the bottom of the first some heckler screamed at JR, "When are you gonna retire?!" I can report that Griffey responded with three fingers.

Well, never say I never said Dubya never did anything right during his Presidency.

Metered Broadband sounds almost as disgusting to me as a Furry Shieza video.

Dear christ, just when you thought the Astros bullpen couldn't get worse they went and traded for LaTroy Hawkins.

Sony may bite with a spin-off of Spidey with a Venom movie, which would be fine, if they didn't completely fuck up Venom in Spiderman 3 and all.

Finally, Cheech and Chong have put their fighting to side, made up and will go on tour for the first time in over 25 years.

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by Rod Lewis