"Where the hell have we been?" Wednesday

My apologies to our readers (if there are any of you left) for the, oh, roughly 40-day break here at LSWTF.com. I don't know about the other contributors, but I've been busy as shit this last month (tried three cases, fun times). Really, I've got no excuse for myself. Hopefully we'll be back in full effect soon.

Without further delay:

In Vermont news: the Vermont Legislature overrode Gov. Jim Douglas' veto of same-sex marriage legislation that passed both the House and Senate last week. Douglas says this is no time for celebration; it's time to move on. Other opponents: repent, for this is a sign that the end is nigh. Everyone else: planning for the fall wedding season. My prediction: the fall foliage will have never looked so good for thousands of Vermont couples.

In international news, the crew of a U.S.-flagged ship retook their ship from Somali pirates today. Why is this not surprising to me? The captain, Richard Phillips, is from Underhill, Vermont, proving once and for all that Vermont's slogan should be "We're small, but we're fierce!"

In baseball news (and because I'm a Red Sox fan), Josh Beckett seems to have returned to form, striking out 10 Rays yesterday in Boston's 5-3 win over defending A.L. champ Tampa Bay. I know, it's the first start of the year, but I was seriously happy to see Beckett hitting 96-97 on the gun after he looked like he was tossing BP in the ALCS last year. Lester goes tonight for the Sox against Scott Kazmir.

Yeah, I bought one. Better safe than sorry.

Lastly, in news I didn't see coming, gun sales are booming in part because of the sour economy. While spending a few hundred dollars on something you may never use sounds counterinuitive, never underestimate the powerful paranoia your fellow Americans feel. Your neighbor Bill just lost his job at the factory. You could A) help him with his electric bill, if he'll let you or B) buy a gun in case Bill goes nuts and decides to steal grandma's silver. Seems most folks are choosing B. Only in America.

DC & H's Thoughts on Obama, Elitism

It's "do-or-die" day for Hillary Clinton in Pennsylvania today (thank you, understated media), and we're going finally see where Pennsylvanians fall in the Great Elitism Debate of 2008. Do they go with good ole beer and shot Hill, or do they go with the so-called liberal elitist, Barack?

Really, there isn't much of a question here. It sounds as if the state will go to Clinton, setting up a protracted fight through the summer, where the only winner will be John McCain. Thunderdome indeed.

The most fascinating part of the last couple weeks has been this discussion of elitism, that sense that you are better than the average joe. Well, not really a discussion, let's be frank. Last night I caught a glimpse of Glenn Beck while I was at the gym. The man flew off the handle with well-calculated innuendos, half-truths, and gross mischaracterizations in a vain attempt to style himself an everyman, just like his viewers.

This whole debacle, I think, tells more about where our country is right now than it ever could about Barack Obama or about Hillary Clinton. I don't think that people who have, or who at least have a hope or think they have a shot at something, really worry about elitists or elitism. You think you have a shot at something better, maybe even outclassing the people who try to make you feel inferior. In the good times, when we're secure, it's easy to feel confident and not really give care when someone tries to make you feel inferior.

In other words, in the good times, when someone acts like an elitist, it's really easy to either ignore them or tell them go fuck themselves.

But, in the bad times, there's no confidence. You can't make better for yourself, there's no opportunity. When someone says they're better than you, it stings because one part of you knows it might be true and the other part knows there's nothing you can do about it. For competitive beings like ourselves, its the worst feeling in the world.

In good times, what Obama said would have been taken for what it is: thoughtful and accurate political analysis. People do cling to their guns and their religion when times are tough. It's the same as people who cling to family or friends or food or work or even booze when a bad spell hits. It's comfort. Only, these aren't good times, and we all know it. Even if we didn't know it, all we needed to see was the reaction to Obama's comments. Eight years ago, before the bubble(s) burst and before the terrorist attacks, smart people everywhere said just what he said. Now, no one dares to.

From my Cold Dead Hands!

Charlton Heston AKA Charlton Easton (1924-2008)

Film Legend and gun fan Charlton Heston has passed away today at the age of 84.

Known for such legendary films as "Planet of the Apes", "The Omega Man", and "Soylent Green" (as well as the voice for "Cults: Saying No Under Pressure"), Heston also was head of an organization known as the National Rifle Association until it was realized that his mind had been totally gone for quite some time and probably should no longer be an advocate for guns while trying to find his pudding and chasing the "damn kids" off his lawn.

Cops goin Scarface on yo ass!

As an option now in sunny Miami, where politics is governed by how much you can prove you hate Fidel Castro, Police officers are now given the option to tote around assault weapons (just in case)!

I like making rules and regulations for those "Just in Case" kind of situations, since those could NEVER possibly go awry right?

The one thing I find a bit disturbing about this though is just how easily these type of changes seem to be coming out across the law enforcement spectrum.

Years ago, law enforcement specialists like SWAT teams were the only officers to carry assault weapons, but now even small town police agencies are expanding access to the AR-15, a civilian version of the military M-16 rifle.

Now, call me an anal constitutionalist (I like that word), but doesn't this fit into military assistance or involvement in domestic law enforcement? And isn't that very much illegal? I don't think you can just write this off as cops getting bigger guns anymore, when they're better armed then most foreign standing armies...

*Just occurred to me that we have a legal analyst available to us here in Dewey Cheatem and Howe, maybe he can shine some light on this one?