Monday, August 11, 2008

Thanks to Gonzo

Ok, now we've all had our share of women trouble...

The entire LSWTF staff can attest to my past, present and future women troubles at great length (including all the wonderful drama that goes along with all that), but through all the wonderful ups and downs of living the single life, nothing, and I stress NOTHING could possibly drive me to be as desperate as this poor soul...

Xing, a 41 year-old man, was calling from LanTian park in the middle of the night. The lonely and disturbed man had apparently thought it would be fun to have sex with one of the steel sit-up benches around the park.

The bench has numerous small holes in it, which Xing used to attempt to satisfy himself. However, once he became aroused he found that he was stuck and could not get his penis out of the small hole.
(Side note here) Seriously, wtf???

When police arrive they found Xian stuck face down where he had been stuck for some time.

When doctors arrived on the scene they tried to release some of the pressure by removing some of his blood, but the penis was so swollen that they ended up having to cut the entire bench free and take it, with Xian attached, to the hospital.

4 painful hours later, Doctors finally separated Xian from his bench.

Doctors stated that if he had been stuck for even an hour longer, they would have had to remove his penis.

Seriously man...

We all have needs, this much is pretty well understood (trust me I of all people know this one). But what in the WORLD would make you think that having sex with a metal bench would A) turn out to be pleasurable, B) be any "safer" then hiring a hooker, C) DUDE, ITS A FREAKIN BENCH!!!

Link to video Here

In other related news of the weird...

Spanish Shopkeeper has discovered a Homer Simpson Euro.

And I came across this comic from a good friend of the LSWTF crew and had to post it:

That is all...

1 comment:

Dewey, Cheatem, & Howe said...

This is one of the prime reasons that prostitution should be legal. We will destroy ourselves if can't secure regular "relief."