Wednesday, August 29, 2007

WWE=Clown Shoes

I wanted to wait and let people read the previous article and let it really sink in before I moved on to my next point. It was very well received by the folks at Pro Wrestling Blog and my thanks go out to them for their compliments. My point today is how predictable the WWE has become, how ridiculous. I use the term coined by Kevin Smith in Dogma, the WWE is now just "fucking clown shoes".

First we begin with Raw, HHH is back which at least leads to some amusement. Cena and Orton continue and as soon as they showed his father I knew what they were going to do. It is quite obvious to anyone who has watched the E in the last five years. Orton attacks Dusty errrr I mean Cena's father instead of Cena. We also had Cryme Tyme stealing Whirling Dervish's hat, again, though at least they are entertaining. There seemed to be more dead in this episode then in most, which is just another week of lackluster WWE programming.

During ECW we continue to see the E try to shape Johnny Nitro errrr John Morrison (what is he on, his twentieth name change?) into a new version of Raven minus the lackeys. Raven channeled a lot of Morrison in 94, and Morrison is channeling Raven, just much happier. CM Punk continues to be stuck in the spin cycle, killing all momentum he has had. If it wasn't for our constant support of Punk they would have jobbed him to The Miz a long time a go. Balls and Kelly Kelly, are we seriously going to be doing a beauty and the beast angle? Also, why was Elijah Burke not in the number one contender match? If you're gonna do the beauty and the beast storyline, why is the Miz not involved?

So my prediction came true, Rey Mysterio will be facing off against The Great Khali. Didn't we see this a few years ago, Rey versus the Big Show? As scary as it sounds, The Big Show talked far better then Khali and that says a lot. So Hardy and MVP are now Austin and Michaels, yawn. They need to have MVP drop the title, especially if he won't be able to wrestle for a long time. Hardy may be your most consistent worker on Smackdown (Finlay is the other in contention) and he's not being used during this shit. It doesn't even feel like they are trying with Smackdown, hell ECW seems to have more direction then Smackdown and that is frightening.

They seriously need some bookers, not writers non of this soap opera and movie writer bullshit, real bookers. Both the WWE and TNA are suffering, not because the product itself is bad, it's because the decisions being made are god awful. I'm pretty sure I could find a 6 year old who could come up with more compelling shit then what they are producing. They can't figure out if they're gonna push Kennedy or not. They keep CM Punk just bobbing above water, always with the threat of drowning. I think we have seen the same Khali/Batista match fifty times now. We get the idea that Vince has slept with a lot of women.

WWE, please, for the sake of your company and for the sake of professional wrestling fire your staff starting with Brian Gerwitz and Dok Hendrix. Stephanie shouldn't be in charge of writing either, let her raise her child, oil HHH, get bigger implants, or whatever else she does in her spare time. You need an injection of fresh ideas, a bold new direction, and not the same retreaded shtick that you've been giving us for the past five years. My door is always open to do this for you, within a year the internet and its tubes would no longer be complaining about your product, they'd be raving about it.

Except of course those who bitch just for the sake of bitching, but fuck em.


Jade said...

Again, why not post these on PWB? Your writing is great!

Shane Rollins said...

Never been invited to post on PWB