Maybe I Should Step Back From the Cliff...

You know what?

Being a Pats fan, I've come to realize something the past few days...the season isn't over yet! There is still stuff to cheer for! There's a reason to live! (my fantasy team on the other hand...ya...that season is over...)

But, when you rationally think about it, this Pats team can still compete for the playoffs. The style of getting there will drastically change but there are reasons to think that it can be done.

1. The D. The defense is going to look at this as their opportunity to shine. They have the best front 7 in football with their D-line as healthy and dominating as ever. Their first round pick, LB Jerod Mayo, was the only defensive player for the Pats to play every down against the Chiefs. For a rookie that's rare and he has chance to be special this year.

2. The running game. Even though it may not be as consistent and dominating as last year, the offensive line is still one of the better ones in the league. The team now has 4 legit NFL running backs capable of positive production for this team. Including a guy (Maroney) who has star potential.

3. Even without Brady I can confirm that the Pats are still allowed to pass the football. While we won't see as many down field strikes from Cassel, we will see the team revert back to when Brady was a first year starter. This means a lot of quick slants and wide receiver screens which will help counter all the blitzes that Cassel is likely to see. Even though they probably won't be throwing deep as much, teams will still need to respect the ability of Randy Moss to get open down field and be about to out leap defensive backs for balls. Wes Welker is a perfect security blanket for a guy like Cassel as well. He does a great job of getting open underneath the coverage for short to medium yard gains.

4. Hey, no one knew about Brady when he started! Cassel could be good. We don't know. The rest of season we will definitely find out though. He's in the best possible position a quarterback could be in to succeed. He knows the offense, he has a ton of weapons, he has a good D to take off some of the pressure to score and he'll be playing against one the weakest schedules in the league. If there was a situation to develop a quarterback in, this would be it.

While losing Brady is a horrible blow, the Pats can still compete and there are tons of reasons to keep watching from a Pats perspective. There are also tons of reasons for other teams to worry about them.

All in the Name of Douchebaggery, or, the Epitome of Being a New York Giants Fan

Minutes after the New York Giants upset the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XLII, I got a text from a Giants fan friend of mine. Some wise ass comment, I fired back with something equally retarded. It was the beginning of two weeks of nothing but Giants fans, and New York-anything fans in general, getting their licks in. The fact is, New York fans will go to any length to stick it to Boston/New England fans.

And now I have proof. Here's Aaron Kaplowitz, writing for the Boston Globe of all newspapers, describing his trip to Central America to find a 19-0 Patriots Super Bowl XLII Champions shirt. As the article's tag line explains, it was a trip for a painful piece of Patriots history, undertaken by a Giants fan. That's a long trip in name of douchebaggery, Mr. Kaplowitz.

Like I said, they're a loathesome bunch.

NFL Draft Review AFC East

The AFC East is an interesting microcosm, you have one team who is on top of the world, one who thinks they are playoff ready when they're clearly not, one team that IS almost playoff ready, and another that basically doing a reboot and starting over from scratch. For the most part the East had solid drafts, well three quarters of the division had a solid draft, the other quarter was merely an average draft that I found wanting.

BUFFALO BILLS
NEEDS: WR, DL, CB, OL
Draft Picks: CB Leodis McKelvin, WR James Hardy, DE Chris Ellis, CB Reggie Corner, TE Derek Fine, LB Alvin Bowen, RB Xavier Omon, OT Demetrius Bell, WR Steve Johnson, DB Kennard Cox
Approved Picks: McKelvin, Hardy, Johnson, Bowen
Eventual Busts: Bell, Ellis
Review: Another very solid draft by the Buffalo Bills. Every since Marv Levy has returned to the team it has begun getting back on track through the draft. Now they added some key free agents this offseason in Marcus Stroud and Kawakia Mitchell, but this draft gave them some solid players and depth at positions of need. Leodis McKelvin was pretty much the consensus number one corner in the draft. Putting him opposite of McGee gives you some athleticism in the secondary which you're gonna need against the Patriots and Colts. I LOVE James Hardy, I thought he was the number one receiver in this draft. If you haven't seen a highlight film of him, go catch it on youtube, phe-nominal. If he had played at an Ohio State or USC he probably would have been a top ten pick. Buffalo, you now have your best wide receiver since Andre Reed. The rest of the draft seemed more like depth choices, I would have liked to see some interior offensive linemen taken. I think they missed the boat by not taking Steve Justice, then again 31 teams missed that boat. Alvin Bowen and Steve Johnson have the biggest upside. Bowen had the same problem as Hardy, and give him a year or two and he may end up in that starting lineup. Johnson could surprise people and move into that starting lineup even sooner. He has the size the Bills want and his hands seem very solid to me and compete with the existing wide receiving corps for playing time.
GRADE: B

MIAMI DOLPHINS
NEEDS: QB, WR, CB, DL, OL, S
Draft Picks: OT Jake Long, DE Phillip Merling, QB Chad Henne, DE Kendall Langford, G Shawn Murphy, RB Jalen Parmele, G Donald Thomas, RB Lex Hilliard, NT Lionel Dotson
Approved Picks: Long, Murphy, Thomas
Eventual Busts: Merling, Parmele
Review: In typical Parcells fashion, the Dolphins laid the ground work for their future. Their selected three players who will likely start day one on their offensive line. Long, Murphy and Thomas has solidified an offensive line that was almost if not worse then the Rams offensive line last year. All those yard Ronnie Brown got last year he got on his own. I'm not sold on Phillip Merling, to me he reeks of bust and could be out of the league in two to four years. Henne I think will be serviceable, but he never wowed me at Michigan, even when he had all the weapons around him. Some say it was Lloyd Carr's fault, then again time will tell. I think Langford could develop into one of those great Parcells defensive players, same goes for Lionel Dotson. They both need time to develop, but both could be studs in a year or two. I'm not sure about the Parmele pick, I think I would have gone wide receiver there. I'm intrigued by the Lex Hilliard from Montana. He's a bruiser and Parcells always needs at least one of those type backs on his team. In the end a very solid first draft by the Dolphins, you can build a house without a foundation.
GRADE: B+

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
NEEDS: OL, LB, CB, S
Draft Picks: LB Jerod Mayo, CB Terrence Wheatley, LB Shawn Crable, QB Kevin O’Connell, CB Jonathan Wilhite, WR Matt Slater and LB Bo Ruud
Approved Picks: Wilhite, Crable
Eventual Busts: Wheatley, O'Connell
Review: I'm gonna get this off my chest from the get go, I'm not completely sold on the selection of Jerod Mayo. I'm giving the Patriots the benefit of the doubt because they have proven to know just what the hell they are doing, but I am not sold. I think his fundamentals are lacking severly but in college he was helped by being more athletic then most of the people on the field. This won't be the case in the NFL, luckily he will be on a team that will teach him these things. I'm also not sold on Terrence Wheatley. They say he was considered a shut down corner in his conference, but remember that is the Big 12 which isn't as pass happy as other conferences. He may help them more in the return game then anything else. What I do think is that their future starter at corner was taken later with Wilhite. He always seemed like a better corner then Patrick Lee. Yes, Lee was the one with the better athletic tools, but I think Wilhite is the better player. Remember, I'm not one of those people who will take athletic ability over the better football player. Terrell Owens wasn't the fastest wide receiver in his draft class, but he has by far been the best one. I also like the pick of Shawn Crabble, I think he fits their style of defense very well. They ask them to do many things, play different positions, and I think he can do that.
GRADE: A-

NEW YORK JETS
NEEDS: RB, WR, DL, LB
Draft Picks: LB/DE Vernon Gholston, TE Dustin Keller, CB Dwight Lowery, QB Erik Ainge, WR Marcus Henry, OT Nate Garner
Approved Picks: Keller, Lowery, Henry
Eventual Busts: Gholston
Review: Yes, add me to the list of people who think Vernon Gholston is going to be a bust in the NFL. For me it isn't the rumor that he takes plays off. Yes, that would bother me but Randy Moss did that and he was far from a bust. For me he just doesn't translate well into the NFL. When playing lesser opponents with inferior coaching Gholston looked like a god, against a team like LSU he looked mediocre, a run of the mill defensive end. Yes, he got a sack against Jake Long, but Michigan's offensive game plan wasn't exactly expansive. Dustin Keller I like as a player, I think he'll end up starting in New York, but I wouldn't have moved back up into the first round to take him. The two players that will probably do the most good for the Jets are Lowery and Henry. Lowery was recovering from a broken jaw all last season, hence why his numbers dropped. Henry has the size the Jets are lacking and has really solid hands. Is he a Chad Johnson, no. Is he a Reggie Wayne, very possibly. Erik Ainge, I've been on the fence with him. I'm not a fan of Tennessee football, never have been. I think Fulmer is a great recruiter who knows athletic ability, but as a coach himself I find him lacking. He relies too much on the athletic ability and not schemes, hence why they've only won one national title under him. Ainge I think can come in, compete for the job, and handle the pressure of being the Jets starter. It definitely will be interesting to see what he can do with weapons, something he lacked this year at Tennessee. Then again, he could be just a throw away pick.
GRADE: C

Finally, some good news

Finally, some good news. After losing Asante Samuel, Randy Gay, and the freakin Super Bowl, Pats fans can be happy, as it looks like Randy Moss and the Patriots are finalizing terms on a 3-year deal. It's looking more and more like the Pats are going to have to rely on outscoring opponents next year, given the age of the linebacking corps and the depleted secondary. We'll see what kind of magic the front office can work between now and draft day.

And now let the Patriot bashing commence. I'm ready for it.

Hitler's Reaction to the Super Bowl

This is a follow-up Hitler video; The exact same video from the Cowboys loss to NY but re-edited for the Patiots lost. This one is by far better. Enjoy.....

Congrats G-Men

It's disappointing to have to say this, but congratuations to the New York football Giants and their fans. They earned the win last night. As a Patriots fan, I must admit that I was shocked by what I saw last night. There were dozens of moments where you could tell that the Pats just didn't have the fire that the Giants had. Brady wasn't inspired, you could tell from the moment he walked out of the tunnel. Still, it was a hell of a game.

What gets me though is the absolute vitriol tossed at the Patriots. I watched the game with some folks who neither watched much football nor were Giants fans, and yet they were out for blood rooting against the Patriots. It's one thing to pull for the underdog, and it's another to have a palpable hatred for a true rival, but whatever people are feeling about the Patriots is of a different breed. I still don't really get it.

But I do know that very, very soon we'll all be very sick of Giants fans. I already am after a couple of choice (and unsolicited) text messages. I'm apparently supposed to enjoy my shit sandwich and stop living in the past.

In all, really, the better team won last night. They were fired up, they were hitting, moving the line, and caught breaks when they needed them. I'm strangely not bitter about this one, just disappointed that my team is now like the Rams of 2002. Congrats, G-Men, you earned it.

Spy Gate- Update

I honestly thought that this story was dead in the water. Yes, the Patriots got in trouble during week 1 for spying on the Jets. They got busted, fined, and were to defer a 1st round draft pick. But Pennsylvania Senator Nutbag McNut, AKA Arlen Specter, wants the NFL to address the Senate Judiciary Committee:

Specifically, Specter wants to know why the league destroyed video tapes related to "Spygate." He said the committee also wants to question the NFL about the league’s antitrust exemption in relation to its television contract.

Is this sour grapes, seeing that both of his Pennsylvania football teams suffered defeats by the hands of the Patriots? He says he is concerned about the integrity of the game. I say he is a bitter old man. The NFL punished Belichek justly, if not a tad to harsh with that 750k fine, the Pats lost a valuable pick in the 2008 draft, and the Patriots reputation has been damaged significantly that many football fans want an asterisk by their name if and when they win the Super Bowl. What more can Specter do?

As an avid football fan, I could careless. Eric Mangina could have given the Pats the playbook and it would have meant nothing if the Pats didnt execute. I hate the Pats, I mean I place them in the same category as the Dallas Cowboys in terms of hatred, but they proved to the world they didnt need video by making half of the teams who they played their bitch. What is Senator Duesch bag trying to accomplish here??

NFL Power Rankings Week 15

I have to say this was a great weather weekend. I can understand why the NFL desires to play the Super Bowl is good weather or dome places, but wouldn't you like to just to see the Super Bowl played in Cleveland in twenty inches of snow? That would definitely guarantee real fans going to the actual game and not just those who can afford it. Besides from that this week definitely gave us some insight into the playoffs as all but one, the AFC North, divisions have been clinched by their respective teams. These next two weeks will be very interesting, I don't give a damn what all these so called experts say.

1. New England Patriots (1)-So Tom Brady layed an egg for me on Sunday, it matters not, I was only in the consolation playoffs anyways (thanks Steve Smith and Larry Johnson). The Patriots continue to roll, despite the weather, and continue to eliminate questions whether or not they are the best team we've ever seen.
2. Indianapolis Colts (3)-They may be battered and bruised, but they are still managing to win football games. Whether they win a playoff game this year or not I think is up in the air and it all depends on who they play. I don't think they can beat the Jaguars again, not even at home. The sooner the season ends for the Colts, the better their health will be for next year.
3. Dallas Cowboys (2)-I'm not going to pile on to Jessica Simpson like everyone else, cause lets be honest it's not the kind of pile I want to be in on with Jessica Simpson. If Tony Romo is not healthy kiss their season goodbye. Hell, you might as well if they lose one more game this season and have to go through Green Bay to get to the Super Bowl.
4. Jacksonville Jaguars (4)-This team is really hard to hate right now. They have one of the best pure rushing attacks I've seen in a long time, their defense loves to hit people, and their quarterback dresses like a pimp, what's not to love about the Jaguars? That being said, it won't break my heart to beat them if the Browns end up playing against sometime in the bear future.
5. Green Bay Packers (5)-They continue to roll on, and it looks like Brett Farve is just getting better as the season goes along. Could it coincide with Ryan Grant getting better as the season goes along as well? This team, I fell, is gonna end up in the NFC Championship game and likely the Super Bowl, but that's just my feeling...from the gut.
6. Pittsburgh Steelers (6)-This team is starting faltering, and at the right time if you ask me. I don't know if the injuries are beginning to mount or if this is just some rookie mistakes by Mike Tomlin. All I know is that it began to snow in Pittsburgh and Willie Parker only ran the ball 14 times, and got 100 yards. Why not turn it to a ground and pound and try to beat the Jags at their own game?
7. Cleveland Browns (8)-There was one huge difference between the Browns and Bills on Sunday. The Browns were constantly moving up and down the field, the Bills only had two drives where that happened and one of those was that last drive they had. The Browns are putting all the pieces together at the right time of the year. I think this goes to the Browns believing in themselves after almost beat the Steelers.
8. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9)-The Buccs continue to play solid football, but they lose Garcia again and they're toast. This defense is very unheralded and they should be getting more respect then they are actually receiving. Also congrats to the Tampa Bay franchise for finally returning a kick off, it's been a long LONG time coming.
9. San Diego Chargers (11)-Hater Nation said that the Chargers are getting into Playoff Shape right now, and it appears that despite the horrible play of Rivers, they are indeed getting into Playoff Shape. Sadly for the Super Chargers the majority of the time that playoff shape is usually a one and done playoff entry.
10. Minnesota Vikings (12)-I don't know if there is a team that is frightening me more in the NFC at this point then the Minnesota Vikings. They have the NFL's best rushing defense to go along with the NFL's best rushing attack. Darren Sharper makes enough plays in the secondary to enable them to win games. As long as Purple Jesus continues to play like a savior, they could be going very far.
11. Tennessee Titans (14)-An impressive win this past weekend over the Chiefs, does anyone know where they found wide receivers? Even though I was cheering the Chiefs on to beat the Titans, I can't dislike Vince Young, it's impossible and makes me froth at the mouth and go into convulsions. With a great draft, and if they can keep Haynesworth, they may be able to challenge the Colts next year.
12. New Orleans Saints (16)-Well, they're putting up the points to win almost any football game. The problem though is if their defense doesn't begin to stop people then they don't have a chance in hell to beat any of the playoff bound teams. Something tells me the Giants are going to end up choking the season away, so time for Drew Brees to be Atlas once again.
13. Seattle Seahawks (10)-A bit of a stumble by the Seahawks this week. What am I talking about, a bit of a stumble? You fell down the bloody stairs by losing to the Panthers. This isn't what Holmgreen wanted to see week 15, three weeks away from the playoffs. They're going to have to rely on Hassleback to win football games, and I don't see that being enough to win in the playoffs.
14. New York Giants (7)-I've been predicting their downfall and stumble out of the playoffs for weeks, nice to see it is finally beginning to happen. Eli Manning set some impressive records on Sunday night, though a good third of those incompletions were not his fault the receivers have to catch the ball once and a while. Oh, and Eli, if you constantly throw to one person say Brandon Jacobs, and he never catches the ball, why keep doing it?
15. Buffalo Bills (13)-This team is a year away from being back in that playoff discussion. Hell, they don't lose to the Cowboys this year and everyone is definitely talking about this Bills team. Jauron may be showing that he does have what it takes, and of course it doesn't hurt that the man you have running your franchise is a football GOD.
16. Houston Texans (17)-This team will be in the discussion next year, much like the Bills will be. Look for them to fill their remaining holes on offense and defense in the draft once again. If they can find a real playmaker to be their running back, then the AFC South might as well be called the NFL's version of the SEC.
17. Philadelphia Eagles (18)-My hats off to the Eagles, I didn't even pay attention to their game cause I didn't think they had much of a chance against the Cowboys. They managed to hurt Tony Romo and we saw the freefall from there. Good job Eagles, but sadly your playoff hopes are over after last night. Will next year the year Kolb gets a chance to be your quarterback?
18. Washington Redskins (20)-A valient effort late in the season, but I don't foresee you going into Minnesota and beat the Vikings in your home, even if Joe Gibbs has never lost a game in that stadium. Of course those Vikings teams did not have Purple Jesus, and I don't see the Redskins D being able to stop his Holy Grail.
19. Arizona Cardinals (15)-Well, the one thing we do know about this football team is that Wisenhunt and Grimm definitely have them marching in the right direction. They have talent, now if they can stay healthy maybe next year will be the year everyone's prediction of the Cardinals being a good football team will be the correct one.
20. Cincinnati Bengals (19)-Well, slowly but surely your season is slipping away. I wonder how much the ownership will torch the team when the season is over. Will Carson Palmer and the wide receivers be the only things left standing after the owners enable a scorched earth policy in the offseason? Will Marvin Lewis lose his job after bringing this team from the depths of the NFL into the playoffs? Who knows with Mike Brown, dude lost his mind years ago.
21. Detroit Lions (21)-Jon Kitna, your big mouth motivated some, but you've become fodder for folks who love to make fun of the Lions. It's been amusing to see the entire team just shut down since the Denver game. You looked like a real contender there, and against Dallas, but perhaps you're completely spent. Well, here's to you and next year's wide receiver first round selection.
22. Carolina Panthers (27)-The Panthers get a big jump this week due to the fact they beat a division champion. Of course that division might be the lowest in the NFL, they still did it. Someone said something interesting to me the other day about David Carr that might work for Joey Harrington too. They need a year to decompress and not play in a game. They need to not be sacked constantly, be out of the limelight, and to refocus their energies.
23. Oakland Raiders (26)-Oh, you Raiders, the autumn wind, you almost had it against the Colts. I would have loved to seen it too, as Raider fans stormed the field and tore Peyton Manning from his limbs in celebration. The drinking of blood, eating of hearts, it would have been the best celebration since the Sumerians.
24. San Francisco 49ers (30)-Shawn Hill is playing amazing right now when you consider what the Niners have had all season. Will the franchise seriously consider keeping this kid in the quarterback conversation? If you ask me, they should. Kepp Dilfer to be a mentor, and nothing else. Alex Smith, perhaps Mike Nolan was right about you seeing the way Hill plays. San Francisco should be smart, keep Nolan and not the quarterback, but when does that ever happen. Let's ask Dan Reeves.
25. Kansas City Chiefs (24)-You were winning Kansas City, you had the game and you let it slip out of your fingers. Damn you for letting go when you had control. Then again, you're this year's Chiefs and actually played that game closer then I actually thought possible so you get an E for effort. I know your Christmas list this year is nothing but offensive linemen, but Santa can only carry so much.
26. Chicago Bears (25)-Much like the Chiefs you let victory slip from your grasp like sand from an hourglass. A Bears fan told me that this was the sixth time this season you lost after leading going into the fourth quarter. Louvie Smith better figure out where everything is going so wrong. Another season like this and I don't care if you got this team to the Super Bowl, you'll be gone in a heartbeat.
27. Denver Broncos (22)-I guess I was right for putting them so low the last few weeks. Perhaps just moving them up briefly last week was enough to put them back on their losing slide, god I hope so. I know there is much hate in me, but only one other team (the Ravens) gets more hate from me then the Broncos. Side note, Broncos fans, stop cheering for us it's not gonna make us want to burn down your town any less.
28. St Louis Rams (23)-I fear that Stephen Jackson may become the next Barry Sanders, you know constantly playing on a bad football team. If they fix their offensive line, then they may have a shot being competitive again, but I fear that the Rams may be going down for a few years.
29. New York Jets (28)-Well, you had them on the ropes. Yeah, sure you did. Let's face the facts Jets, the only thing that really kept you in that football game was the weather. You were doomed the minute Kellen Clemens was taken out, and the Patriots have been on half-impulse power for the last few weeks save the Steelers game. Start thinking about your top five draft pick now.
30. Miami Dolphins (32)-Congrats, of sorts, you managed to beat the Ravens. I should be happy the Ravens lost, and I am, but you killed the impossible dream Miami. I wanted something, someway somehow, to shut up the 1972 Dolphins, just once in their miserable lives to shut them up, sadly that has yet come to pass. I know they only have one win, but let's be honest, aren't they better then these last two teams?
31. Baltimore Ravens (29)-So, my co-worker has this theory that Billick is merely playing out this season with the hopes that he will be fired so he can leave and find a better coaching job somewhere else, perhaps Atlanta or Carolina. I want to argue with this theory, but the way they're playing lately it's hard to argue.
32. Atlanta Falcons (31)-Wow, does anyone think that the Falcons could beat the top four football teams in college football? I don't know if they could beat the Hawaii Warriors at this point. They don't have a bright future and their front office seems to think it is still 2002, these are likely the reason Petrino bolted for Arkansas, and as days go by I keep finding it hard to hold that against him.

NFL Power Rankings Week 13

A very interesting, and somewhat controversial, week 13 in the NFL. We saw one game that was ruined by a bad call by the referees (Browns), one ruined by a bad call by the coach (Redskins), and one where a bunch of thugs want to whine and cry how they were screwed out of choking away a victory against the number one team in the land (Ravens).

1. New England Patriots (1)-Another close week for the Brady Bunch, though I wonder how much of it was the Ravens playing well and how much of it was the batshit crazy wind in Baltimore. You could tell on the hail marry how much the wind affected throwing the ball this game. Though the Patriots can't play this many close games without slipping up...can they?
2. Dallas Cowboys (2)-Well, they beat the Packers, and I didn't think they had it in them. Then again, they beat an Aaron Rodgers led Packer team, not the Brett Farve led team, but I guess that goes a long way as well. You knock out their big playmaker, it wins football games. They still have a big game at home against Philadelphia left.
3. Indianapolis Colts (5)-Much like last year their defense has begun to put it to the opposing teams when their offense begins to struggle. It will be interesting to see if they can keep this up during the playoffs, especially when they play in Foxboro in late January.
4. Jacksonville Jaguars (4)-A tough loss for the Jaguars, I had actually picked them to win the game, and they very nearly did. David Garrard is making Jack Del Rio look like a bloody genius, but the injuries are beginning to mount and it could be only a matter of time before it makes a big impact.
5. Green Bay Packers (3)-A tough loss for the Packers, good thing it came on a Thursday and Farve has those extra days to heal up before this week's game. Title Town must be happy though, Aaron Rodgers proved he can play so that might alleviate some of the worry that the fans have about what happens to the team when Farve retires.
6. Pittsburgh Steelers (6)-I was getting excited, they seemed to be struggling against the Bengals early on, but then they remembered they were playing the Bengals defense and began to lay it on. They still have the Patriots and Jaguars left so there's still a chance for Cleveland to catch them.
7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (7)-Why do I get this feeling that this is one of the teams we need to be looking at as a serious NFC Title contender, yet I'm the only one who appears to be doing so? Jon Gruden is having what might be his best year as a coach, with a slew of injuries on both sides of the ball, and is still winning football games. If they start shocking people in the playoffs, you know where you heard it first.
8. New York Giants (10)-I thought for a while on Sunday that it would be the downturn for the Giants season, losing to the Bears and all. Eli Manning is beginning to regress into Tim Couch, but luckily the rest of the team is still finding ways to win football games. Sadly it's in spite of Tim Couch, not because of Tim Couch...errrr...I mean Eli Manning.
9. Cleveland Browns (8)-This game gave me that itch again, the itch to bring in Saint Quinn. Anderson had what was easily his worst quarter of football as a professional in the first quarter of Sunday's game. Now he recovered nicely and put us in a position to win the game, especially since we were screwed out of the victory, but does that mean we don't give him up if someone will give us a king's ransom for him?
10. Seattle Seahawks (9)-An impressive win on Sunday in Philadelphia against the Eagles. This team has some fight, and it comes from Hasselback. It doesn't hurt though that the Eagles defense allowed Shaun Alexander to look like Shaun Alexander of two years ago during points of that game. This Morris kid is turning into a nice lil back at the same time.
11. San Diego Chargers (11)-Some folks have already moved the Chargers back into the top ten fold, I'm going to wait one more week for that though. Yes, they will win the AFC West, but likely lose the playoff game. I'm not sold that this team has gotten over its Jeckyl and Hyde days, so until they win three or four in a row, I won't be sold.
12. Tennessee Titans (12)-Without a doubt the best football game Vince Young has played since the Rose Bowl where he won Texas the National Title...bitches. Now, imagine what Vince Young might do with a talented, young, familiar wide receiver from a certain college that he knows quite well. Yeah, that's right, Limas Sweed baby.
13. Arizona Cardinals (13)-Don't be too excited, you got lucky with that win. That was a touchdown and you know it. Kurt Warner, you may have found the fountain of youth in Arizona, but your wife still looks like your evil clone who is likely sucking your life force out of you while you sleep.
14. Minnesota Vikings (15)-Remind me never to interrupt writing my Power Rankings to watch a Chappelle Show clip ever again. Now all I can type is bitches, and yellow cake from Africa, home of fucking civilization. It's so bad, that all I can think about with the Vikings, who will make the playoffs, is that Purple Jesus is making Tarvaris Jackson look like an NFL starter right now.
15. Buffalo Bills (20)-So cheering for the Bills on Sunday almost got me jumped by the folks at the bar, and SayHey's girlfriend. This team has the fight of ever over exaggerated movie sport creation in the last twenty years. This team will be a playoff team next year, baring injuries of course.
16. Philadelphia Eagles (14)-Well, the Oregon Duck, AJ Feeley, came back down to Earth this week and had a very Harrington day, throwing four interceptions. Brian Westbrooke is Green Jesus is Peterson is Purple, as he owned the Seahawks for the majority of the game. As good as that defense is, the Eagles need to restock the shelves as heir expiration date is almost up on most of those players.
17. New Orleans Saints (16)-I have begun to wonder if the reason the Saints haven't been the same team as they were last year is that the team began to read their hype and to believe in it too much. It's a young coach, he could have let it slip, and it would explain why they haven't been playing to their full potential all year long. Drew Brees is better then he has shown us this year, as is Reggie Bush who should just be turned into a slot receiver at this point.
18. Houston Texans (18)-This team reminds me of the Bills in many ways, mostly though it's the fight they bring to almost every game they play in. That defense is two or three players from being an elite defense in this league, and their offense can make plays on occasion. A great draft this year, and they've had them the last two, will make the Texans contenders.
19. Detroit Lions (17)-Well, I hate to say this, but it appears that the Lions have come back down to Earth and may not make Jon Kitna's prediction of a ten win season. At this point I expect the Vikings to pass them and make the playoffs while the Lions sit home, scratch themselves and wonder what went wrong.
20. Cincinnati Bengals (19)-This is not a good football team...on defense. Their offense is still one of the best passing offenses in the league, while their running game is mediocre. With that many running backs you think they'd have some semblance of a rushing attack, but that seems to be on the bus to nowhere with the defense.
21. Washington Redskins (21)-A tough week this week, with the loss of Sean Taylor and then to lose the way they did to the Bills is heart wrenching. I won't apologize though for cheering the Bills, just because you lost a player to violence doesn't mean I'm going to cheer for you. The Broncos lost Darnett Williams on New Years in similar fashion and you don't see me cheering for the Denver Jackasses do you?
22. Chicago Bears (24)-You had it Chicago, they were in the palm of your hand, and you let the Giants slip away with a victory. That's the difference between this year and last year. Last year you won those close games, this year you can't seem to. A new QB is definitely in order for Chicago, but where do you go to get one?
23. St Louis Rams (25)-This Rams team is beginning to find itself once again, but sadly it is about seven weeks too late for that to make much of a difference. Then again, they do play in the NFC West, where anything goes and everyone theoretically still has a chance, except for maybe Trent Dilfer.
24. Kansas City Chiefs (23)-I don't know if Herm Edwards has enough draft picks to fix what is leaking on this ship of his. Offensive line and changing his defenses age so it doesn't resemble the San Francisco Giants this year are the big priorities, and you can only cover half of that in the draft, look for them to be big players in the free agent market.
25. Oakland Raiders (26)-My favorite comment of the weekend, "The Oakland Raiders, who have been on the clock since the season began". I don't know where I heard it, I think it was a score update on one of the sports stations. JaMarcus Russell looked impressive in his limited time, and I understand why you only put him out for part of the game, don't want to ruin next year but something stupid this year.
26. Carolina Panthers (30)-Welcome back to Planet Earth Carolina. Now, will you be staying long or will you be departing once again to Parts Unknown? Dainty Mittens and Son of Farve are hardly your answers at quarterback, but then again wasn't there a question about Jake Delhomme at the beginning of the season as well?
27. New York Jets (27)-I want to thank the Jets for proving me right that they never should have been underdogs against the Dolphins. God, I wish I had been in Las Vegas, I could have made some serious money on that game if I had taken the Jets to win and beat the spread.
28. Baltimore Ravens (29)-I know many expected the Ravens to move up in the Power Rankings after getting two yards away from beating the New England Patriots. Sadly though, I think this was one of those Herculean moments, like when a mother lifts a car off of her trapped child. Also, isn't it amazing how the Ravens seem to be the only team in the NFL who complains about things being said to them? Apparently teams and refs only say derogatory things to the Ravens and no one else...that or you all believe every word Ray Lewis says.
29. Denver Broncos (22)-A big drop this week for the Broncos, mainly because right now this is a BAD football team. Now they've been racked with injuries, but their offense looks less impressive then Notre Dame's this season. Of course The Rat won't be fired, but I would love to see the Jackasses struggle these next few years.
30. San Francisco 49ers (28)-I thought they may have begun to turn things around and get themselves deeper in the draft due to last week, then again it was wishful thinking and I obviously forgot what team I was talking about. You would think Dilfer would be used to having no weapons to throw to, but something is causing him to throw to, apparently anyone and everyone...except his teammates.
31. Atlanta Falcons (31)-Is there any wonder as to whether Bobby Petrino has his draft day card filled out with Brian Brohm's name on it? This team isn't THAT far from being decent again, maybe a year removed from the Dogfather will help clear their heads so they can get back to playing football again. Without a doubt though, it's the biggest obstacle a first year former college head coach has had to face in the NFL.
32. Miami Dolphins (32)-Where can one start with the Dolphins? They have the Bills, Bengals, Pats and Ravens left on their schedule. Can they achieve my dream, and go for the perfect season? Will that be enough to finally shut up Mercury Morris and the rest of those 1972 Miami Asshats?

NFL Power Rankings Week 12

Did anyone else watch that game last night? That punt that just stuck in the ground better then a lawn dart was simply to awesome for words. Another week, another tough game for the Steelers. Keep this up Pittsburgh, that rate you're going we'll be AFC North Champions before you know it.

1. New England Patriots (1)-How much do you think the Eagles actually hitting the patriots had to do with the score of that game? I haven't seen anyone hit the Pats like that all season. They also managed to get to Tom Brady. So the idea to beat them is to hit them and get to the quarterback, in other words part of my defensive philosophy.
2. Dallas Cowboys (2)-Well, this very well may be the last week we see Dallas at the number 2 spot. They have the Packers this week at home, and don't you wish you could watch the game? I know I wish I could, and I'd finish it off with a nice cold Budweiser.
3. Green Bay Packers (3)-The battle for home field advantage happens this week, and history is not on the Packers side. Brett Farve has done a great many things in his career. The one things he has never done though is win in Dallas. He is 0-8 lifetime in Texas Stadium.
4. Jacksonville Jaguars (5)-Stop shaking your heads, yes I moved the Jags above the Colts. I for one cannot get that Chiefs game out of my head when it comes to the Colts and the Jags are killing people on the ground. MJD is my favorite small pudge back of all time.
5. Indianapolis Colts (4)-The injury toll is beginning to take in Indianapolis. They have lost two of their three best players and the cracks in the armor are a lil more transparent then they were six weeks ago. They better hope Peyton isn't the next one to come down with a boo-boo.
6. Pittsburgh Steelers (6)-Two weeks, two tough games, against teams they should be blowing out if they want to be considered part of the elite in the NFL. That game though last night was wild and I would have loved to have played in it. That's what makes a football game awesome.
7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (8)-The Redskins still have yet to beat Jeff Garcia, even if he only played a portion of that game. Gradkowski came in and did his best Trent Dilfer impression and let the defense win the game. Though it was definitely apparent that this team will go nowhere without Jeff Garcia.
8. Cleveland Browns (9)-The bad bad Cleveland Browns, the baddest team in the whole damn town. Brandon fucking McDoanld, this kid is going to save the Browns from the perpetual nightmare which is Daven Holly. Two weeks now the Browns defense has shown some semblance of life, might as well nickname them the Orange Zombie Army now.
9. Seattle Seahawks (11)-Do I believe the Seahawks are really a top ten team, hell no. They do though play in the NFC West and that means they get to play the Rams and Niners twice a year which helps their record substantially. Hell, they're gonna be fighting till the end of the season to make the playoffs.
10. New York Giants (7)-Ouch, how's that ass Eli? Did Coughlin take plenty out of it after the game, or is he not allowed to talk to you since you love being babied and treated better then you really are. I know San Diego fans right now are thrilled that you passed on their city, they have enough problems right now.
11. San Diego Chargers (16)-Speak of the Super Chargers and they shall appear. I wonder if the Chargers wished that you could trade draft picks for coaches. I know the fans would volunteer their first round picks for the next three years to replace Turner and Contrell.
12. Tennessee Titans (10)-I suppose this is the downward portion of the Titans season. In this week's mock I think I have the Titans taking two wide receivers in the first three rounds, do you think that is excessive at all? I didn't think so either.
13. Arizona Cardinals (12)-Kurt Warner played the game of his rejuvenated career, only to have the game lost in overtime in the end zone. The rest of the NFL thanks you for letting the Niners win and getting the Patriots farther away from Darren McFadden as possible.
14. Philadelphia Eagles (19)-Are we all finally seeing now what some of us have been saying for years about Donovan McNabb? He's an average quarterback, at best. The Eagles have constantly let quarterbacks come in when McNabb gets hurt, perform better, then have Donovan and his mother bitch and moan until the other player is gone. Yeah, sounds like a real team player.
15. Minnesota Vikings (22)-I don't think a single score has made me happier this year then what the Vikings did to Eli Manning and the Giants. I've been saying this defense is for real, and they proved it against Eli. I actually have the Vikings running the table and making the playoffs.
16. New Orleans Saints (21)-The Saints have seemingly found life, but then again they played the Panthers who I'm amazed won four games at the beginning of the year. They have a lot of questions in the offseason, namely, what is the identity of this team, does anyone know?
17. Detroit Lions (15)-I'm sorry Jon Kitna, I've looked into the future, I've seen your schedule, I made my predictions and I apologize. You have one of the toughest remaining schedules left, and I don't have you making the playoffs. I know you wanted to, but the hill is just too steep for you to climb.
18. Houston Texans (14)-I love how this team's defense is becoming a force in the NFL. If they manage to build a secondary in the offseason, watch out next year. Of course they also need a legit running game and better blockers, but a big force in the secondary should be priority number one.
19. Cincinnati Bengals (23)-There seems to be some life in the Bengals yet, then again they weren't exactly playing the Patriots either. The offense has been there pretty much all season in some kind of form. The defense though is still missing like Britney's underwear.
20. Buffalo Bills (17)-I love that the FOOTBALL GOD, Marv Levy, has brought back that sense, that attitude of Buffalo Bills football. They're starting to remind me of the beginning of that Bills era, and this time there is no team in the NFC East who is totally dominate. Sadly though, their time it's in their own backyard.
21. Washington Redskins (18)-A sad week for Redskins fans, and you worry about if their heads will be able to focus on the game this week. The game is at home this week as well so expect a great deal about Sean Taylor, a huge loss for that defense and the NFL in general.
22. Denver Broncos (13)-The Broncos reverted back to those colors they were flying before they beat the Steelers. This is a young football team in certain areas, and very old in others. They bought brand new parts, like a spoiler, and put it on a car with a rusted radiator and a leaky gas line.
23. Kansas City Chiefs (20)-They fight, very hard, and are beginning to get the personality of their coach. If they spend their draft on an offensive line, this team will be a huge threat next. Herm Edwards is still the money man for great post conference interviews.
24. Chicago Bears (25)-Thank you Chicago for beating the Broncos, it always gives me a nice warm down low tickle to know that the Broncos have lost. Also, can I interest you in a brand new, never been used, Notre Dame quarterback? It will cost you your 1st, 2rd and 5th round picks next year, but I know you could use it.
25. St Louis Rams (27)-We're beginning to see the offense that some fatcats believed would be there all season and lead the Rams to the Super Bowl. I think the talent positions are there, but they need to patch up that offensive line. Defense is average at best, but o-line is a bigger need right now, ask Marc Bulger.
26. Oakland Raiders (29)-Good job Oakland, you took out the Chiefs and finally won an AFC West game, which usually isn't hard for everyone else. This is the big unveiling this week though, time to show off that brand new sports car you bought at last year's draft. I can't believe I'm cheering for an LSU player on Sunday.
27. New York Jets (24)-I've heard it since Sunday, the Jets are nothing but frauds. Well, duh. Did you actually think their beating the Steelers meant this team was going to be good? If you did, for shame. This team has promise, but not enough to win on a regular basis this year.
28. San Francisco 49ers (31)-Well, you keep winning and the Patriots will keep falling farther back in the draft, and that's a good thing. Of course, you win the last game of the season but four wins is enough to keep them away from Darren McFadden.
29. Baltimore Ravens (28)-What was that this week, five in a row? I know it's close to that number, but I don't care enough about you to actually look it up. Hell, Baltimore itself can burn to the ground for all I care, you're a speed bump for me on my way north. Oh, and feel free to give Troy Smith a shot a QB, you have nothing left to lose.
30. Carolina Panthers (26)-I never thought I'd ever put the Panthers this far down on a Power Rankings chart. Must be what sports writers felt like when they put the Niners that far down for the first time. I could also interest you in a quarterback as well, a Golden Domer, if you're interested.
31. Atlanta Falcons (30)-The Falcons had life there for one quarter against the Colts. Then I don't know if their Turkey kicked in or the Colts' turkey wore off, but hey at least you can say you were beating the Colts at one point and right now you need as many moral victories as you can get.
32. Miami Dolphins (32)-I know you were hoping for at least a tie last night in Pittsburgh, but alas the dream lives on. I want you to continue on, to lose all 16, so that maybe the 72 team will then shut the fuck up and never bother us again with their inane ranting, raving, and partying about going 14-0.