O's Fan.....Rejected!

I cannot help but notice that Oriole fan is still having trouble removing the dagger that was jammed in their backs last month. I have a feeling that dagger will be Arthur’s sword in the stone for the next 8 years. But at least there are some pieces of good news:

First, our very own Dews went on a drunken bender the day Mark Teixeira turned his back on the city of his birth and purchased a plethora of anti-Tex sites (All of which link back to this very blog and are quite funny).

Second, his wife, Leigh, appears to have studied baseballs most notable bitch of a wife, Anna Benson. According to Marky Mark, his wife is solely responsible for his decision to accept the Yankee deal. Apparently she made the decision for him. Its only a matter of time until she either sleeps with Arod or gets the herpes from Derek Jeter.

And finally, Mark Teixeira, a Baltimore native, was NEVER an Oriole’s fan growing up, he was a Yankee guy. Yes, “that guy who wore a Yankee hat to Memorial Stadium and Camden Yards, B-more native". This guy is my age, grew up in Baltimore, and was blessed to have witnessed one of the greatest players in history dawn his cities colors, play shortstop like a legend, and represent the city like a stand up guy. It would be like Willie Mays wearing a Dodgers hat at a Giants game or Dennis Eckersley shaking hands with Kirt Gibson. Think of how Cleveland fan felt when they saw their hero, LeBron James wearing a Yankee hat at a Cleveland Indians game. Outrage!!!

Call me a baseball purist, but fan loyalty and the city of your birth (or in my case, my very early youth) are intertwined. Dews is an O’s fan because he spent his childhood summer years in the beltway, Gonzo and myself are from Central/Northern Cali, Dewey a New Englander, Noodle and Miss Cleveland Park are Beltway natives, CityCat an Ohioan,SDFan, well, from San Diego, and our LSWTF virgin, PerdueChick, a Perdue resident who went to Indiana University and is still a Perdue fan (Still dont get that, but gotta bust your chops at least one more time).

What do we all have in common?? We are hometown sports fans and are die hard passionate about our teams. I cannot help but ask myself where did Tex go wrong? Was it all about the money?? And more important, should he wear body armor to every road game in B-more??

MLB Power Rankings- Week 16

*George Sherrill, LSWTF All-Star MVP*

It feels like forever since I have posted my power rankings yeh? The riggers of a new 8 hour life, business travel, and actual deadlines has kept me quite busy these past weeks. But far from me to complain, the job is good, the people are great, and my sanity has never been healthier. On top of that, we had an allstar game last night. I, however, was unable to watch the entire game. I believe I turned the game off when Rock Solid Jonathan Papelbon proved to NYers that he is nowhere close to becoming the next Mariano Rivera. Yes, I refer to that brilliant inning in which he blew the lead. But I digress, on to what feeds you needs……..

1 (2) Chicago Cubs (57-38) – I haven’t seen this much flip flopping since 2004. This kind of power struggle between the Saux is what makes baseball so great. Soriano is healthy (So we think) and the Cubbies now have 2 phenomenal aces in the rotation; with the addition of Rich Harden. Way to stick it to the Brewers there!

2 (1) Boston Red Sox (57-40) – First off, Dustin Pedroia had no business starting that all-star game. I just needed to get that off of my chest. Second, Manny Ramirez needs to STFU. Im sick of his sob story “Oh, the organization this, the organization that”. They pay you 20 million/year to be one of the worst defensive players in baseball. Get over it. Outside of my Saux gripes, they simply cannot be stopped right now.

3 (3) LA Angels (57-38) – I know Angel fans will rip me for this one. Yes, they have an even record with the Sox, but look at your division? Not exactly playing the Yankees 19 times per year eh? I do feel that this team’s mid-season success is somewhat of a fluke. The major stars are playing Okay and not like a superstar. Give credit to that bullpen though. Simply unstoppable.

4 (4) Tampa Bay Rays (55-39) – I don’t think that 7 game losing streak will hurt this team in the long run. They only sit ½ game behind the Sox and but they need to get that offense moving again. They do need a right handed bat in that lineup. Luckily, the AL East has no dominant Lefty pitchers, which could explain a lot in Tampa Bay.

5 (5) St Louis Cardinals (54-43) – What I find funny is that the Cardinals are a team that doesn’t need to make a big trade to compete in the NL Central right now. They are lock, stocked, and loaded just about everywhere. Wainwright will be healthy soon and with the Cards success without him; consider him a “new acquisition” type.

6 (7) Chicago White Sox (54-43) – They are slowly creeping up in the standings and with validity this time. The Twins and Tigers are playing outstanding baseball and this only makes the Sox record that more credible.

7 (17) New York Mets (52-44) – Oh how things change in just 2 weeks. I wrote the Mets off along time and never saw this coming. Jerry Manual has all of NY forget about the Willie Randolph disaster and that 10 game winning streak helps. But they still have some major issues; Santana got ROCKED last night, Wagner is fizzling away, and the rest of the starters are struggling. I just don’t see the Mets keeping this spot, but who knows?

8 (8) Philadelphia Philly’s (52-44) – I question that Joe Blanton trade and I honestly believe the Phils gave up to much to get him. As bad as he has been he still pitches like an all-star against the NL. I don’t think they had a choice in the matter, they need pitchers who can eat innings and who better (that’s available) than Blanton?

9 (9) Minnesota Twins (53-42) – Francisco Liriano’s agent has now asked the players union to investigate the Twins. Apparently Liriano is to good in AAA right now and the Twins wont call him up. What bothers me with this is that the Twins don’t have shitty management and I truly believe they know what they are doing. All I know is that Liriano is sitting on my fantasy bench like a chump, but ya don’t see me complain about it, eh?

10 (6) Oakland A's (51-44) – No need to worry Oakland fan, your drop in the rankings just shows that the A’s play very consistent baseball. While others get hot or cold, the A’s keep pace. But the A’s need a hot streak and badly. The loss of Joe Blanton, in my mind, is a blessing to this team. In fact, Blanton was statistically one of the worst starters in the bay area. The problem still lies in the lineup. They need someone to hit, and soon.11

(11) Milwaukee Brewers (52-43) – That CC trade made so much sense its ridiculous! Sure, they lost Laporta but the Brewers OF is so young and talented, that he was expendable. CC has dominated in the NL but is he enough? The bullpen is still garbage and unless they address that need, they will stay in 3rd place for the rest of the season.

12 (10) New York Yankees (50-45) – Let me just say that their 4 game sweep over the Rays was perfect timing for this club. I can see the Yankees threaten for 1st place, but not actually win it. Which makes for AWESOME baseball. They did get some good news over the weekend; Damon could be healthy ahead of schedule. But rotation is still murky, Joba has 1 win as a starter and he is the team’s best pitcher?? Come on…..?

13 (14) Texas Rangers (50-46) – “Your AL Starting 2nd baseman, IAN KINSLER” was all I could think about Tuesday. How was Kinsler not the starter in that game? It just shows that the voting system is seriously flawed and needs to be reformed. Outside of that gripe, the Rangers are playing good ball but they are defiantly playing for next year.

14 (15) Florida Marlins (50-45) – Hanley Ramirez is playing some outstanding baseball and shows us that he is the best SS in baseball. But the rest of the team is playing like garbage. This includes Uggla. The rotation just got knocked out since their ace, Andrew Miller, is on the DL. I can only see this team get worse from here on out.

15 (12) Arizona Diamondbacks (47-48) – At least I know that the Orioles would NOT be in first place in the NL West. So with one of the worst offenses in baseball, how does Arizona fix that problem? By trading for Tony Clark!! I don’t get it either. Needless to say, and Yes Dews, the NL West is the JV in the majors.

16 (16) Detroit Tigers (48-47) – FINALLY, a winning record!! But it’s going to take a lot more than a small winning streak to match up with the Twins and Sox right now. Maggs and Sheffield are off the DL and despite their ages, they are still dominant. But the sooner they address the pitching problems, the better.

17 (19) Toronto Blue Jays (47-48) – AJ Burnett still remains a mystery to me. He leads the AL in strikeouts, yet posts a God awful ERA and WHIP. If he can get to his 2005 self, the Jays could make the AL East that much more competitive. The offense lost a lot of steam when Wells hit the DL.

18 (13) Baltimore Orioles (45-49) – It was only a matter of time until the Orioles proved to us what I already knew. Last place!! The wind behind the sails is all but stagnant and I just don’t see things improving. Outside of Markakis and Roberts, nobody has hit consistently (And if I hear Luke Scott or Aubrey Huffs name mentioned, im just going to laugh). Speaking of Brian Roberts, he was most definitely an all-star snub. Dustin Pedroia my ass!!

19 (23) LA Dodgers (46-49) – You know things are bad in the NL when the Dodgers are 1game out of 1st place. God I hate the Dodgers!

20 (24) Cincinnati Reds- (46-51) – As the savior of this team, Jay Bruce, rides a 2-22 slump, the rest of the team has someone gone the same route. Johnny Cueto got slaughtered last night, Aaron Harang is on the DL, and the team as a whole is playing with no passion. Edison Volquez is the only thing good right now, but without run support, his efforts are pointless.

21 (22) Houston Astros (44-51) – Ive said it before and ill say it again, this teams pitching is putrid. And if Roy Oswalt hits the DL, it will be a laughing stock. Miguel Tejada is in a HORRIBLE slump on top of that.

22 (18) Atlanta Braves (45-50) – The Braves have not found a solution to their injury problems and it shows. A few sparks of offense is all but keeping this team out of last place. Well, that and the Nationals. I do think it’s the beginning of the end once the Braves trade Mark Texiera. So who will win this prize? Yankees or Red Sox?

23 (20) Pittsburgh Pirates (44-51) – This is the best Pirates squad we have seen in at least a decade so what does Pittsburgh do to celebrate? By putting Jason Bay and Xavier Nady on the trading block. Tampa Bay is drooling over Bay, which could lead to some interesting prospects. But eh, Im a purist. I like to see guys stick on one team for an extended period of time.

24 (25) Kansas City Royals (43-53) – Post All-Star game and they are not in last place? Bizzaro world indeed.

25 (26) San Francisco Giants (40-55) – It is not fun being a Giants fan right now but I did expect this. The Post Bonds era is going to test us Giants fans but we do see light at the end of the BART. Lincecum, Sanchez and Cain give us all a reason to smile, since they all have 100+ strikeouts right now. I will say that watching “Franchise” Dominate the Cubs was a fun fun thing to watch.

26 (21) Cleveland Indians (36-43) – The Indians made the right move by dealing C.C, but they got such little in return. Yes, Pete Laporta is a solid prospect, but he boils down to “potential”, a word I loathe.

27 (27) Colorado Rockies (40-57) – I wonder if they will trade Garrett Adkins. His stock is sky high right now and with so many needs to address, it would make sense.

28 (28) San Diego Padres (37-59) – Jake Peavy got ROCKED last night. But the good news is that Chase Headley is producing, giving some them hope for 2009.

29 (26) Washington Nationals (36-60) – The only glimmer of hope is that Ryan Zimmerman should be back within the next week or so. He could be the deciding factor in whether or not they lose 100 games or not.

30 (30) Seattle Mariners (37-58) – Erik Bedard is inches away from hitting the DL, but they did cut that salary leach, Richie Sexton, who in turn, went to the Yankees. Yeh, I don’t see that logic either.

MLB Power Rankings- Week 14

*Aramis Ramirez, LSWTF player of the week*

Please forgive my absence in not providing you all with the Power Rankings you all deserved last week. Its been a rather stressful past 2 weeks for the Kid, due in part by work and my transition into a new field starting Monday. My bits of advice to you all.....

1- Never check your bags while taking any kind of flight. TSA will ROB YOU BLIND!

2- Don’t piss off a TSA Officer. They will make your life a nightmare and you WILL miss your flight

3- Do not taunt happy fun ball

Any finally……

4- NEVER EVER WORK FOR TSA!!!!! I have given a name to my personal hell and it is the Transportation Security Administration.

But don’t pay any mind to my issues, its baseball time!! The AL is dominating the NL in inter-league play. The AL is making its mission to utterly humiliate another NL team in the all-star game and the World Series………On we go…

1 (2) Boston Red Sox (49-32) – Let us all welcome back Saux Nation to the top of the board. Terry Francona is proving to me that he knows what it takes to manage good baseball, for example: replacing a struggling Hideki Okajima as setup man with Manny Delcarman without hesitation. Oh, and Dice-K is back. Good times in the "Land of the Bland".

2 (1) Chicago Cubs (49-30) – They have way too much talent to lose to the AL cellar-dweller. Not only did they lose the series at Wrigley, but they gave up a boat load of runs (25) to a team that cannot score. However, the Cubs are minus their ace (Carlos Zambrana), their Superstar (Alfonso Soriano), and possibly the man with the oddest name in baseball (Kosuke Fukudome).

3 (3) LA Angels (48-31) – Some will argue that they deserve the 2 spot and I couldn’t agree more. But, the Angels are banged up and unlike the Cubs, lack the depth to compensate for missing stars. I’m mainly referring to Vlad and “the shits”. They may have one of the more exciting series coming up as they play the dreaded Dodgers. Go Angels!!

4 (5) Tampa Bay Rays (47-31) – The Rays are only ½ game behind the Sox!! YES, my prediction is slowly coming true; that being a wildcard bid. You and I know the Sox have the talent to swat away any Ray aggression, but no other team in baseball can say the same. Oh and the Rays managed to sweep the #2 best team in baseball Cubs and the Marlins.

5 (6) St Louis Cardinals (45-35) – Sure, they got trounced by the Tigers, but they managed to give the Sox a beating prior to that. I don’t know where this team came from but they are amazing. The pitching isn’t sexy by all means but they manage to get people out. Oh, and ace Adam Wainwright should be back sometime soon. The weekend series with the red hot Royals should also make for some great baseball.

6 (7) Oakland A's (43-35) – Perhaps the most debatable shift of the week but I say bring it on. I know they lost the series with the Dbacks last week but the offense did put up 15 runs in one game. They also took the series vs. the Marlins and the Philly’s. BUT, my revenge shall be slow and painful for my counterpart, Doctor Jack Gonzo, as the Giants play the A’s this weekend. Vengeance shall be mine!! Muuuhahaha! Side note- To all of you doubters, The CC Sabathia trade rumors are flying in Oakland!!! My prediction: Mark Ellis, Daric Barton, Joe Blanton, and 3 other minor leaguers for C.C!!

7 (8) Chicago White Sox (43-35) – Jermaine Dye is a man beast! Or at least he is in fantasy when I play him. But the rest of the team needs to step up. Outside Dye and Quentin, nobody else is hitting the ball. Certainly not prize acquisition Nick Swisher (.232AVG), Jim Thome (.228AVG), or Orlando Cabrera (.273AVG).

8 (4) Philadelphia Philly’s (43-37) – Losing 8 of your last 10 games is simply unacceptable for a 1st place team. On top of that, your superstar Chase Utley is in the worst slump of his career (1-22 I believe). The Philly’s allowed themselves to be shutout TWICE in a row by Oakland and yes, this is bad news for a team that relies on offense; especially when they play the mother of all powerhouses this weekend, the Texas Rangers.

9 (15) Minnesota Twins (34-36) – The Twins are definitely the shocker team of the week winning 9 straight in a row. This includes sweeps over the Padres, Diamondbacks, and Nationals. JM’Squared (my moron nickname for Justin Morneau and Joe Maur) have been playing like champions during this streak and I have my doubts that the weekend series vs. Speed Racer and the Brewers will end it.

10 (11) New York Yankees (42-36) – Let us all welcome the Yanks back into the top 10. Joe Girardi has proven that he can keep his cool under adversity and make his team winners again. He can thank Joba for re-energizing the entire team though. Hell, even Damon, Jeter, Posada, and Arod are playing like their all-star selves. Heed warning Sox and Rays: The Yanks will make you earn the post-season.

11 (12) Milwaukee Brewers (43-35) – Did anyone but me manage to watch Prince Fielder hit that in-the-park-homerun? It’s funny to see a short fat man run, but that’s just me. The Crew found gold with Russell Branyan’s red hot bat and it looks like the rest of the team found theirs as well. Rickie Weeks is healthy and even though he can’t his for shit, he can still get on base and score runs. They swept the Jays and took 2 of 3 vs. the Orioles and Braves. Not to bad in a 2 weeks work.

12 (9) Arizona Diamondbacks (40-39) – Oriole fan has every right to give me crap for this one, but the Dbacks are a first place team. They might be a terrible first place team but they are there none the less. Micah Owings arm has turned into garbage as has the rest of the rotation not named Dan Haren. The offense is crap as well and this is with a now healthy Eric Byrnes (who has managed 1 hit in his last 12AB’s since his return from the DL)

13 (14) Baltimore Orioles (40-37) – Before you give me crap, know that you are a 4TH PLACE TEAM! No matter the argument, you’re one spot away from last place. So please don’t give me this “Any other league we would be 1st place” bullshit!!! That being said, you’re a damn good 4th place team. The offense re-learned how to hit as Brian Roberts and Nick Markakis have now put up good batting averages. Hell, even Luke Scott and Aubrey Huff found theirs. The only kink in the armor now is the rotation. They have stalled and it’s not pretty. Brian Burress leads the team with 6 wins; hardly all-star worthy.

14 (13) Texas Rangers (40-40) – Its panic time in Arlington and the good people of Texas should be worried. Josh Hamilton may or may not be injured (Fuck you Yahoo and your ambiguous player updates). If he did damage that knee of his, the Rangers will be in huge trouble. The Rangers lack the depth to compensate for his loss and its unlikely the pitching will get any better also. Their weekend series with the Astros followed by the Yankees will definitely test their metal.

15 (10) Florida Marlins (40-38) – We all knew their winning ways was too good to be true. Losing 4 straight is not a good thing, however, the Phills are sucking right now so it’s not panic time just yet. The pitching is still absolute shite and that’s an issue that needs to be addressed.

16 (18) Detroit Tigers (38-40) – They are so close to a .500 record they can taste it. After listening to the game last night my opinion is that they don’t deserve it. Sure, they are winning but the talent is playing well under their potential. Cabrera is mediocre and Ordonez’s batting AVG is 50 points lower than it should be. On top of that the pitching is non-existent.

17 (21) New York Mets (38-39) – I may have hated Willie Randolph but the way he was fired was complete bush league, even to my standards. I think the firing was too little to late as the Mets still struggle to play as a team. They lost 2 of 3 vs. baseballs rag doll team, the Mariners and the Rockies before that.

18 (17) Atlanta Braves (39-41) – It appears the injuries’ have finally crept up on the Braves as they struggle to keep pace in a weak division. Jair Jurrjen’s is the rotations saving grace right now as he has stepped up recently. Oh, is it just me or are these Mark Texiera trade rumors getting out of hand??

19 (12) Toronto Blue Jays (38-42) – “CITO SUCKS”……”CITO SUCKS”….”CITO SUCKS” is still and may always be the mantra in Baltimore. And yes, Cito Sucks is the new skipper. There is no doubt that Oriole fan loves this new move as it is surely to energize O fans when the Jays are in town. So far Cito Sucks is no better than John Gibbon’s as Cito truly is sucking. Shaun Marcum is out and long time Oriole John Parrish will take his spot. Oh happy days in Baltimore!!

20 (19) Pittsburgh Pirates (37-41) – It does appear that the Pirates are poised to reach .500 by the end of the season. Its just a shame that’s all they have to look forward to as they are 11 ½ games out of first. But Pirate fan has to be happy with the improvement, and resurgence of one time superstar Jason Bay.

21 (20) Cleveland Indians (36-43) – We can officially add Cliff Lee to the list of excellent pitchers in the Indian stable as he single handedly tore up the Giants. Sigh!! But the problem rests with the offense. Nobody is good right now and you know things are bad when Casey Blake is this team’s offensive spark.

22 (21) Houston Astros (37-42) – Props to the Astro’s for defeating the mighty Ranger offense. But, good news is overshadowed by retard news, as Shawn Chacon did his Latrell Sprewell impersonation by choke slamming GM Ed Wade. I wish I could choke clam someone right now and get away with it.

23 (23) LA Dodgers (36-42) – They moved up in the rankings only because everyone was that much worse. Before Dodger fan can rejoice, know that the future of your club is not looking so hot right now, that being Clayton Kershaw. Sure he is a kid, but so was Homer Bailey, and we all know what happened to him not to long ago.

24 (22) Cincinnati Reds- (36-44) – Cincinatti has a problem. No, its not the trade rumors involving Dunn and Griffey, its that top rookie prospect and former ROY candidate Jay Bruce is flopping. He started off molten lava hot and has since tapered off. But at least Edison Volquez is still good. I did manage to watch him destroy the Yankee bats last week.

25 (29) Kansas City Royals (36-43) – I don’t know how they did it, but they did it; 9wins in their last 10 games. Where the hell did that come from? Perhaps my motivational comment the other week? Oh, and I might have a new favorite rookie, that being SS Mike Aviles. The kid has some serious talent.

26 (24) San Francisco Giants (34-45) – Bring it on Oakland!! Im ready, and so is RED HOT Barry Zito (2 straight wins is as hot as Zito will get). Of course I’m kidding here. The Giants have slipped a tad but due to a crappy division, we still have a chance. We lost the series vs. the Tigers and Royals but managed to regain our composure by taking 2 of 3 vs. the Tribe.

27 (27) Colorado Rockies (32-47) – They almost proved me wrong by sweeping the Indians, but that was all for none as they ride another losing streak. This time the 4 game variety. The pitching is God awful and one time all-star no brainer, Todd Helton, is in an awful slump. But at least Barnes is back, which means hot hitting Jeff Baker, is benched.

28 (25) San Diego Padres (32-48) – Trevor Hoffman blew yet another save. When will Bud Black put on his pitching cap and replace him?

29 (26) Washington Nationals (31-49) – Id love to chalk their losing up to injuries so I will. It’s hard to win when the stars are out. But there is some reason for hope and that is the potential that Lastings Milledge is showing us. I could be a believer in this kid after all.

30 (30) Seattle Mariners (28-50) – You thought things were bad before then your wrong. King Felix is hurt and it looks like Erik Bedard might be also. The 2 crown jewels of the organization on the DL?? It could happen, and then what??

MLB Power Rankings- Week 12

*C.C. Sabathia, LSWTF player of the week*

Even Cal Ripken Jr. missed a game in his lifetime. My record for most consecutive “non-sick day” usage went to an end on Friday, so my apologies for not providing the quality Power Rankings that you all come to expect. But anyway, The Giants were in town for 4 games 2 weekends ago and I couldn’t have been happier. Not only was I the only Giants fan in our section, but I witnessed a rookie Giant grand slam, A phe-nominal pitching performance from one of our young guys, and of course, a shutout. But all didn’t end well for the SayHey Kid……

1 (1) Chicago Cubs (45-25) – The Cubs continue to dominate despite the loss of Alfonso Soriano. Reed Johnson is filling in just nicely as Soriano’s replacement, They managed to sweep the Braves and take 2 of 3 vs. the Blue Jays in interleague. Yes, a National League team was able to dominate the American League!!

2 (3) Boston Red Sox (44-28) – Boston claims the 2 spot. Why? Because the only baseball I was able to watch was the Sox vs. Reds this weekend. The Sox looked terrific; excellent pitching and hitting. As much as I hate Coco Crisp; he has played some great baseball lately. I did notice a kink in the armor; that being the bullpen. Okajima is showing his lack of effectiveness with inherent runners and Papelbon is looking more like Joe Borowski these days. But I have a feeling this will all sort itself out.

3 (2) LA Angels (42-28) – They were less than stellar this past weekend, dropping the series vs. a struggling Braves team. But they managed to gain more breathing room on Oakland in the standings. Casey Kotchman is proving everyday that he can lead this team; despite the struggles of bigger named superstars. Yeh, Im calling out Vlad (.273AVG, 10HR, 35RBI)

4 (4) Philadelphia Philly’s (41-30) – FINALLY, Philadelphia is living up to their reputation, with Eric Bruntlett plowing into Cardinal catcher Yadier Molina. To hell with the winning, I want guys carted off on a stretcher!! Ryan Howard had a decent weekend in which his batting average raised to .217. Way to Go Howard (Insert my witty “he is not a superstar” comment here). The Phil’s metal will be tested this week, as they are forced to match up with Red Saux Nation!

5 (5) Tampa Bay Rays (40-29) – The Rays are giving the Sox a run for their money. Despite a mediocre week and a half, they remain only 2 ½ games back of the Saux. My pre-season Cinderella team is making me proud, but hopefully they can survive this week’s series vs. the Cubbies.

6 (7) St Louis Cardinals (42-29) – I’m sorry A’s fans but the Cards have been on fire lately. They took 2 of 3 vs. the Reds and Philly’s, which is not an easy task. The Cardinals seems to do better when aces and superstars hit the DL, such as Todd Welenmyer (7 wins, 3.14ERA, 73Ks) and Kyle Loshe (8 Wins, 3.77ERA), Ryan Ludwick (.310AVG, 10HR 54RBI).

7 (6) Oakland A's (38-31) – I hope to nip this in the butt before the good Doctor wakes from his slumber. Yes, the A’s swept my Giants but yah know something, they were supposed to! After a tough series vs. the Yankees, they managed to rebound and sweep the Giants. Eric Chavez (.310 AVG, 1HR, 8RBI) is looking good in his return and if he can keep it up, the Athletics can only get better.

8 (9) Chicago White Sox (38-31) – Despite their terrible week (losing 5 of their last 6 games), they still managed to play better baseball than the Diamondbacks. The Sox looked like the Sox of old; bad offense, bad pitching, bad everything. They let the last place Rockies humiliate them in a homerun friendly park no less. This proceeded by a sweep to the Tigers. The bad news gets worse though as Paul Konerko may land on the DL.

9 (8) Arizona Diamondbacks (37-33) – The Dbacks would be a second place team in every division, so fortunately they are in the NL West. They had a decent week, taking 2 of 3 from both the Royals and the Mets but the offense still has no gas in the tank. Other than Connor Jackson (.305AVG 7HR, 35RBI) and Mark Reynolds (15HR, 45RBI), who else can carry the load??

10 (10) Florida Marlins (32-27) – The Marlins held their own, hence why they don’t lose a spot. They took the series vs. the Phil’s but somehow lost against the Rays. The pitching is getting a little better but they need significant improvements if they want first place.

11 (17) New York Yankees (37-33) – They are the best 3rd place team in all of baseball. They also managed to play some great baseball this week. Winning 2 of 3 from the Athletics and a sweep over the Astro’s, which included a 13-0 killing of the Stro’s (Sorry Gonzo). There is some serious news in NY however; Chien-Ming Wang could be out for the season with a foot injury.

12 (14) Milwaukee Brewers (36-33) – The most underachieving team in baseball continues to play mediocre baseball. They took 2 of 3 from Astros but managed to lose 2 of 3 from the Twins. This team is still learning and will one day live up to potential, I hope. Apparently there are rumors going around that the Crew is interested in pulling off a trade for C.C. Sabathia. Here is my prediction: Rickie Weeks, Manny Parra, and Corey Hart for C.C. Sabathia. This makes perfect sense to me.

13 (13) Texas Rangers (35-36) – “Texas Baseball” is still alive and well, but what happens when the offense takes a day or 2 off (Which did happen over the weekend)? This team needs pitching in the worst possible way. If not for Vicente Padilla (8 Wins, 3.89ERA), this team would be have been considered dead long ago. I am shocked the Rangers have not entered the Sabathia sweepstakes.


14 (20) Baltimore Orioles (34-34) – The Orioles have become my newest unsolved mystery. You look at this team on paper and they are the worst team in baseball, yet on the field they look like a first place team….sometimes. But O’s fan must be happy either way with a .500 mark. Losing 2 of 3 from the Yanks and following that up with winning 2 of 3 from the Pirates shows me that this team can shrug off inter-division losses. The pitching was dreadful over the weekend BUT, the offense did manage to put runs on the board. Hell, even Brian Roberts (.285AVG, 5HR, 40Runs, 19SBs) managed to pad his stats a bit.

15 (16) Minnesota Twins (34-36) – Losing 5 of the last 8 games cannot help this team in the rankings, but who else has stepped up? The Twins need to fix what is broken (Pitching) quickly, especially with the Tigers gaining significant ground. The Twins face off against the Nationals, which is a must win series!

16 (12) Toronto Blue Jays (35-36) – A drastic drop indeed, but they cannot be 3rd place one week and drop to last place. Not in the AL East. It’s true they lost the series vs. baseballs best, but they also lost a series vs. baseballs worst team before that. Its only a matter of time until AJ Burnett breaks out of his slump and when that happens, the Jays will have 3 very solid starters.

17 (11) Atlanta Braves (34-36) – This was a painful drop in the rankings but injuries leave me no choice. Rafael Soriano, Mike Gonzalez, and John Smoltz (The teams 3 closers) are all on the DL. The bullpen is exhausted of consistent threats and it just seems this team will find it difficult to close out games, or hell, to hold onto a lead. But the offense is still blazing hot so who knows. Other teams have had success with more injuries.

18 (27) Detroit Tigers (32-37) – Yes, the record is still pretty bad but this team is FINALLY playing like the Tigers we expected. A 6 game winning streak (Including an extra inning walk off homer from Cabrera vs. the Sox) defiantly puts them above other teams. Sweeps over the Whitesox and Dodgers is not too shabby, and yes, they play the Giants this week. Woes’ me!! The pitching is still rocky but the offense more than makes up for it.

19 (22) Pittsburgh Pirates (34-36) – I never thought that I would have the Pirates ranked over the Mets, or hell, crack the top 20. But they deserve it. Hell, call me crazy but Xavier Nady (.314AVG, 10HR, 46RBI) should be a starter in this years all-star game.

20 (21) Cleveland Indians (33-37) – C.C. Sabathia with 2 VERY impressive starts? Unheard of!! But its true, he has thrown 2 brilliant starts. But all is still not good in Cleveland. The offense is still sluggish and the pitching is still on the decline. I hate to agree with some people, but the Indians need to dump C.C. while his value is still moderately high. Milwaukee does seem to be the best fit. As does Houston or Texas.

21 (19) New York Mets (33-35) – Ill admit, the record warrants a higher rank, but they have become the choke team of the NL. Wagner has blown 3 crucial saves lately (One against the Dback bastards). They managed to split a double header with Texas but that was a series sweep on paper. Carlos Beltran is putting up productive numbers for once (.271AVG, 8HR, 37RBI) but the responsibility should lie on the shoulders of Reyes and Wright, who are both underachieving. Oh, did anyone else know that Trot Nixon is a Met??? Learn something new everyday.

21 (18) Houston Astros (33-37) – The first rule when playing the Yankees: Don’t give up 13 runs. The Second rule when playing the Yankees: Don’t give up 13 runs!!! The Stro’s are riding a 4 game losing streak and it could not have come at a worse time. While lesser NL Central teams begin their winning ways, the Astro’s found a way to lose. This is not good. The pitching is dead now that Oswalt managed to earn himself the title of “Has Been”. Lance Berkman continues to make his case for MVP however, putting up staggering numbers (.360AVG, 19HR, 57RBI, 90 Hits).

22 (23) Cincinnati Reds- (33-38) – All is not good in Cinci. Boston came into their house and beat em, beat em bad. 9-0 is not the way to cap off a series. The Reds looked tired, demoralized, and sluggish. Griffey’s value declines by the day (0-13) so trading him might be a bit more difficult that originally thought. Yes, Edison Volquez is that good, but he isn’t winning games. But man, the kid can strike just about anyone out right now.

23 (18) LA Dodgers (28-32) – Ill finally admit it, the NL West is the AAA of baseball. First, I thought we were too good by constantly see-sawing with each other, but no, We suck!! Hell, at least the Dodgers are not immune. They ride a 5 game losing streak, including that sweep to the then, last place Tigers. Clayton Kershaw is starting to live up to the hype, but when you walk as many guys as you K, the stat becomes meaningless.

24 (24) San Francisco Giants (30-40) – The one series I didn’t want to lose, let alone get swept in, the Oakland A’s. Yes, I said it. But we were not all that bad and managed to keep games close. The sweep over the Nationals was AWESOME, as I was fortunate to attend game 2 of that massacre. Never fear Giants fan, “The Franchise” is pitching tonight vs. the Tigers game 1. Yes, Tim Lincecum (1.99ERA, 8 Wins, 92K’s)

25 (25) San Diego Padres (31-40) – If Adrian Gonzales (.293AVG, 19HR, 62RBI) was on a better team, I truly believe his RBI total would be in the 90’s right now. He is baseballs top 3 first basemen in the league, but the rest of the Fathers are closer to the bottom. The only bright spot right now is that Jake Peavy is back and healthy.

26 (26) Washington Nationals (29-42) – YES!!! The Nats swept a team. It just sucks that it was the Mariners. But a win is a win and this hopefully will build up some momentum going into Minnesota. The Nats finally found their swing and managed to beat the M’s with their offense.

27 (28) Colorado Rockies (28-41) – Brad Hawpe has made his presence felt since his return from the DL; A grand slam being one of them. Garrett Atkins is also picking up the slack in Matt Holliday’s absence. The pitching is still bad but does anyone expect a Cy Young winner in Colorado anytime soon. Not I.

29 (30) Kansas City Royals (28-42) – A nice little hot streak took them out of last place, and thank God for it. I really want this team to succeed. Beating the Dbacks 2 of 3 games is a nice step back into the race (Seeing how they are only 10 back, anything is possible). And Yes, we witnessed a Gil Meche win!!!

30 (29) Seattle Mariners (24-45) – Getting swept by the Nats at home earns you last place. That and this team plays with no passion or honor. That’s all I have to say about the Mariners.

MLB Power Rankings- Week 10

*Manny Ramirez, LSWTF Player of the week and new member of the 500 Homerun Club*

This has been a somewhat bittersweet week in the lives of LSWTF. The good doctor has moved to dustier pastures, Dews and I got into a shouting match Friday night over the definition of the term “Re-Building”, and the Giants are in Washington for 4 B-E-A-UTIFUL days. With a new and lovely fiancé, new Will “The Thrill” Clark jersey, and a new ballpark, this weekends baseball festivities should be filled with awesome new memories. Now…..Onto the Rankings.

1 (1) Chicago Cubs (39-22) – Apparently Dews failed to read the homage’ I paid toward his win over the decanter of hotness debate, but that’s ok. The Cubbies continue to dominate the NL with good pitching and solid hitting. And, they just happen to lead the NL in runs scored with 346 (1 behind Texas for the major league lead).

2 (2) LA Angels (37-24) – Winners of 5 straight including a sweep over the Mariners is still not enough for the top prize. Howie Kendrick is back in the lineup so the middle infield will be a lot more stable. However, they play a red hot Athletics team this weekend. In my opinion, match up of the weekend!

3 (7) Boston Red Sox (38-25) – I knew the losing streak was just a fluke. Manny removed his ego from out of his ass and lit up! His clutch homeruns against the Orioles and the Rays had helped take 3 of 4 from the O’s and sweep over the Rays. Their success comes at a price though. David Ortiz could miss the rest of the year and Dice-K hit the DL. This is where Theo Epstein’s brilliance comes into play; that being, a very locked, stocked, and loaded minor league system.

4 (9) Philadelphia Philly’s (36-26) – Wow, did they ever prove me wrong. I was expecting a complete meltdown in their Marlins series but managed to take the series AND take the Cincinnati one as well. Well played. Ryan Howard continues to play like a second class minor leaguer. For the record; he is NOT a superstar NOR was he ever! Cecil Fielder hit 50 Homeruns in a season. Nuff’ said!

5 (3) Tampa Bay Rays (35-25) – The Rays are beginning to fall off their high pedestal named “novelty”. Yes, I bought into them but there is still hope. Sure, they were swept by the Saux in a very ugly manner, but, they managed to sweep the White Sox and that’s not an easy accomplishment. The pitching is phenomenal and will be even more dominant once David Price gets called up. SS Tim Beckham was also selected #1 in the draft, a player who will make an immediate impact once he is called up.

6 (4) Oakland A's (33-27) – The A’s have been a mystery to me this entire season. With a team that cannot hit and has struggles on the mound, how can this still be this successful? A sweep over the Tigers (As bad as they are) just proves that there is some kind of sorcery in Oakland. Carlos Gonzales (Prize acquisition from Arizona) has just 5 hits in his young career. They just happen to all be extra bases.

7 (8) St Louis Cardinals (32-23) – Yes, the pitchers are hitting homeruns. Even the relievers (I managed to see that monster Mark Worrell jack last night). Even Troy Glaus is picking up the slack while Albert Pujols rests up. This team does need a closer, and badly!!

8 (5) Arizona Diamondbacks (32-28) – Getting swept against the Brewers and Speed Racer is not helping any cause. The Dbacks saving grace is that the rest of the NL West is playing like garbage. The offense is dryer than the Arizona air and the pitching has been sub par recently. Luckily they play the Pirates. A dominating result could lead to an outpour of motivation.

9 (10) Chicago White Sox (33-26) – This team has been the rollercoaster of the bigs this season. First, they get swept by the Rays, than they come right back to sweep the Royals? We need a little consistency here, yeh? Nick Swisher has turned into a bust, Carlos Quintan’s and Joe Crede’s luster is fading, and Bobby Jenks is blowing worse than Jenna Jamison.

10 (6) Florida Marlins (32-27) – 5 losses in their last 7 games is a bummer. But, Hanley Ramirez is literally on fire right now, as is the rest of the offense. It’s that pitching that has been the thorn in the Marlin fin. Andrew Miller needs to pick it up, as does Scott Olson. These guys are supposed to be aces!

11 (12) Atlanta Braves (32-29) – The loss of John Smoltz should be a humongous blow to the Braves, but, Rafael Soriano is back and has been dagger sharp. The Braves chief concern should be the bullpen. Everyone in the pen seems to be spending some time on the DL. Luckily the offense is excellent; Chipper Jones (.418AVG), Mark Texiera (43 RBI, 9HR), Brian McCann (.307AVG), Kelly Johnson (.294AVG), and Yunel Escobar (.303, 37Runs) should all be on the starting all-star roster.

12 (13) Toronto Blue Jays (32-30) – They are the best third place team in baseball. The good news is that Vernon Wells could be back in the lineup very soon. The bad news is the middle relief is struggling to lock big leads. The Jays play the O’s this weekend and im sorry to say Dews; but this should be an easy home series for the Jays.

13 (18) Texas Rangers (31-31) – The AL West should take notice; the Rangers are starting to perfect “St. Louis Rams Offense” by simply scoring more runs than they give up. They lead the ML in runs scored (347) yet lead the ML in runs allowed (360). I call that baseball irony. Just imagine if they Rangers had a SP worth wild?? Oh, and yeh Josh Hamilton earned his 2nd consecutive player of the month award.

14 (20) Milwaukee Brewers (32-28) – The team im learning to hate has managed to put together a pattern of winning. Yes, count them, 6 wins in a row, which includes sweeps over the Astro’s and the Dbacks. Ryan Braun (.299AVG 16HR, 46RBI) is by far the best player on this club. Prince Fielder is finally putting up productive numbers, as is JJ Hardy.

15 (16) Minnesota Twins (31-29) – They continue to exceed expectations (Remember, they were supposed to be a last place team) by squeaking out pars every week. Twins just wish Delmon Young (.265AVG, 0HR) would continue to not play like a bust.

16 (17) New York Mets (30-29) – Johan Santana finally earned himself a victory. Why am I so excited? Because he should have 12 wins right now. Not 7. What can I say, when it comes to future HOFers, I expect a lot. There are some bright spots however. Jose Reyes found his missing “Wonder Boy” bat and is finally being productive. This should make future manager, HOF Gary Carter very happy. Oh, too soon?

17 (19) New York Yankees (30-30) – With a so-so week they escape from the depths of last place in the East. The Joba experiment is off to a shaky start but it’s to be expected. I do hope this kid pans out because he is a rare talent. Personally, he should be this team’s closer for the next 15 years. But hey, a 3 game series vs. the Royals is the best medicine for a slump. And yes, Joba does pitch tonight!

18 (11) Houston Astros (31-30) – When Houston falls they fall hard! Getting swept by the Brewers and losing the series vs. the Pirates should hurt. On top of that they have the Cardinals this weekend. The problem with the Astro’s is that Texas baseball doesn’t work in the NL West. Other teams can score runs also.

19 (15) LA Dodgers (28-32) – Finally, an NL West team! The Dodgers are in serious trouble. I’m not just talking about losing 9 of their last 11 games. Clayton Kershaw is struggling to find his identity (4.91ERA 14ks). I won’t lie to you folks; their failures have made me a very happy guy.

20 (14) Baltimore Orioles (29-30) – I re-welcome the Orioles back the AL East Cellar. Yes, they may be the best last place team in baseball, but last place is still last place. I’m happy to see Nick Markakis run wild improving his productivity (.272AVG, 10HR) but it simply is not enough. The O’s pitching has now seen some signs of inconstancy; giving up boat loads of runs to both the Red Saux and Twins (41 runs in 6 games).

21 (21) Cleveland Indians (27-33) – “Danger Eric Wedge, Danger”!! The Indians are going down in hail of gunfire. It’s just a shame they are out of ammo. The Rangers lit them up (39 runs in a 4 game series). Where did that great pitching run off to?? They play a struggling Tiger team this weekend and NEED to play with that 2007 passion. Right now, they remind me of Major League.

22 (22) Pittsburgh Pirates (29-31) – The Pirates continue to play their best baseball in 15 years. Everything they have shows signs of inconsistency but its ok. To ask for anything more is straight foolishness. Jason Bay (.290AVG, 13HR, 30RBI) is playing well enough to be traded for some quality prospects. Congrats go out to the Pirates for drafting SS Pedro Alvarez #2.

23 (25) Cincinnati Reds- (29-32) – They did in fact sweep the Braves; which is a start for a struggling team. Jay Bruce and Edison Volquez continue to make their separate arguments for ROY. But before they can continue riding high and mighty, the Reds need to address serious issues; Getting on base, middle relief, and getting rid of the salary leach named Ken Griffey Jr.

24 (24) San Francisco Giants (25-35) – I rode my horse proudly after humiliating the Dbacks, but we followed it up with 2 losing series vs. the Padres and Mets. We do play the Nats in a 4 game set and perhaps we can show them what our offense is made of. Small Ball!!! Oh, and yes. I failed to contain myself when I watched the Giants draft THE best player in the draft, Florida States very own, Buster Posey. On a depressing note, Noah Lowry will miss the rest of the season.

25 (27) San Diego Padres (25-37) – It seems the Padres are relying only on pitching and not at all on offense. Outside Adrian Gonzales, this team cannot do much of anything offensively. The pitching has been great, allowing just 2 earned runs in 2 games. How about that John Banks (.33ERA in 3 starts). That is something to be hopeful of.

26 (25) Washington Nationals (25-36) – Scoring 2 runs in 4 games (prior to the second game of a double header) is not going to win you any games even if you had an entire team of Johan Santana’s. It’s a messy situation in Washington, with Ryan Zimmerman, Austin Kearns, and Nick Johnson on the DL. They did finally put up 10 runs in game 2, only to blow a nice lead in the 6th inning.

27 (26) Detroit Tigers (24-35) – As bad as the Nats have been, the Tigers have been even worse. They are riding another long losing streak, Justin Verlander (2-8, 5.16ERA) has been dismal, as has the rest of the staff. The only one putting the ball in play is Magglio Ordonez. The really problem is that the Tigers farm system is all gone. With the exception of Mike Hessman (20HR is AAA), they have nobody!

28 (28) Colorado Rockies (22-38) – Despite an 8 game losing streak, they managed to take 2 from the Dodgers this week. Expectations are very low right now since their core lineup is all on the DL. The upcoming Brewers series won’t make this pain go away anytime soon.

29 (29) Seattle Mariners (21-39) – Losers of 4 in a row is bad, but at least they didn’t follow a 12 game losing streak with another 3 game one (See the Royals). They play with no desire whatsoever and management doesn’t seem to care either (Yeh, dude went postal but to little to late). Its not really worth getting into details here.

30 (30) Kansas City Royals (23-37) – They may have a better record than some other teams, but they are playing terrible baseball. Losers of 15 of 17 games in a downward spiral to the basement. This was supposed to be the year of years. But prospects Billy Butler and young guys Ross Gload, Alex Gordon, and Mark Teahan are just more examples of terrible scouting, management, and ownership.

MLB Power Rankings- Week 9

*Bengie Molina, LSWTF player of the week*

Well, Memorial Day came and went, but not without a fight!! 3 contributors of LSWTF decided to take the show on the road and hit up a Nationals game as sort of a fare-the-well to the good Doctor Gonzo. Riddle me this folks- What happens when Dews and Gonzo double fist beers for oh, let’s say for 7 straight innings?? Answer- Complete drunken debauchery!! We heckled Mike Cameron until he gave us the “jack me off” hand gesture. Needless to say it was quite amusing (And effective since he hasn’t recorded a hit since LSWTF razed the Center Field bleachers). The chants of “Go SPEED Racer Go”, “Speed Kills”, and my favorite, “I feel the need, the need for SPEED” was our constant reminder to Mr. Cameron that we were not going to let up. For the entire 11 inning game!

1 (2) Chicago Cubs (33-21) – That’s right bleacher bums, the Cubbies take the lead!! Alfonso Soriano has dipped the "barrel" of his bat in the “Decanter of Fire” and is on a tear.

2 (4) LA Angels (32-23) – They seem to have finally hit their stride, winning their last 2 series vs. the Tigers and White Sox. The pitching is exciting to watch, the offense is heating up, and they are making the AL their own private playground.

3 (5) Tampa Bay Rays (32-22) – Raise your hand if you had the Rays in first place by the end of May (As SayHey Raises his hand). What’s not to love about this team? They swept the Orioles and won their series against the Rangers (Not without some damaged ERA’s though).

4 (9) Oakland A's (29-25) – This ranking is not only a ceremonial tribute to the good Doctor as he embarks on his quest to Houston, but a celebration for all baseball fans south of “New England”. The A’s did in fact sweep the Red Saux, silencing the Nation, AGAIN!! This spot may not last however, for they take on the offensive juggernaut named “The Texas Rangers”. Note- Eric Chavez is finally off the DL.

5 (3) Arizona Diamondbacks (30-24) – During our Nationals field trip on Monday, Dews asked me a question that I could not answer, “Have the Giants swept any team this season”. Well, ya douche, WE DID!! The DBACKS got swept by the Giants IN ARIZONA. How ya like them apples Dews. Dan Haren and Doug Davis proved ineffective in solving the riddle of small ball. Congrats go out to Randy Johnson, who tied Roger Clemens for 2nd all time in k’s.

6 (6) Florida Marlins (30-22) – It was tough for me not to move the Marlins this week. They took 3 of 4 against my Giants but managed to lose a key series vs. the Mets. The pitching is starting to hit a rhythm but its going to take more than a couple decent starts to win the East.

7 (1) Boston Red Sox (32-24) – Losing 5 of your last 6 games wont keep you in first place. Manny is more focused on himself than winning games and that might explain why the worst team in baseball (Seattle Mariners) took 2 of 3 games in your last series. ManRam- Get your head out of your ass and play!! Oh, and more bad news- Dice K is hurt and could miss his next start. We should hear some good trash talk between Dewey and Dews this weekend, as the Saux look for redemption vs. the Orioles.

8 (7) St Louis Cardinals (32-23) – This team still remains a mystery to me. They haven’t really hit any streaks, yet, still manage to be only 1 ½ games behind the Cubs. The pitching has been phe-nominal, as Adam Wainwright continues to silence his critics by throwing great games.

9 (8) Philadelphia Philly’s (31-24) – Philly fan is going to give me some hell with this spot, but the fact still remains. Your in 2nd place! The Phills utterly humiliated the Rockies over the weekend by putting up 33 runs in 3 games. They have a key series vs. the Marlins this weekend so sick back and enjoy. Oh wait your Philly fan. Let me rephrase- So Sit back, get wasted, and yell at the tele!

10 (11) Chicago White Sox (30-23) – Yes, I know the Sox are in first place but it is the AL Central, AKA, the farm league of the majors. The biggest shocker to me is the awesome pitching coming from Jose Contreras. Now if only the rest of the rotation could chip in and lend a hand.

11 (12) Houston Astros (30-25) – Gonzo is going to have a field day in Houston. The team is playing great baseball……and they play the Brewers……and Mike Cameron……Yes, The Speed Racer. Despite being in 3rd place, they are only 3 ½ games back, which of course, will soon make Gonzo smile.

12 (10) Atlanta Braves (29-25) – It was just a matter of time until the Braves cooled down. But wait, Rafael Soriano is activated and should help the bullpen solve their consistency issues. Chipper Jones batting average went up during the week, to a jaw dropping .420. Now it’s no secret that I hate the man, but I would love to see this kind of history be made in my lifetime. And I know my Clone will never let me hear the end of it if it indeed happens.

13 (20) Toronto Blue Jays (30-26) – Like the mighty mongoose, they came out of nowhere to rattle and cluster fuck the power rankings. A 4 game sweep over the Royals and winning 2 of 3 from the A’s definitely contributes to their rise. Rookie pitcher Jesse Litsch proved to me that he is a very under-rated rookie that is worth some ROY consideration.

14 (13) Baltimore Orioles (26-26) – Behold, the Nightmare!! The Orioles luster is starting to fade as the offense continues to NOT show up. What shocks me is that the Orioles past failures were mainly due to bad pitching. Well, the pitching is good now. Wha’s Happenin?? The “Greek God of Baseball”, Nick Markakis is only hitting .251 and isn’t even leading the team in jacks. I do agree with Dews on one thing, that being the need to call-up Scott Moore. What the hell are they waiting for??

15 (14) LA Dodgers (26-27) – The Dodgers can thank the Giants anytime now. The Dodgers got swept by the Cubs and still managed to not lose ground in the standings. They stand only 3 ½ games back but expect them to drop fast. Hell, they couldn’t even secure Derek Lowes brilliant game. That being said, Blake DeWitt is the only thing worth watching in LA, well, other than Clayton Kershaw.

16 (18) Minnesota Twins (28-25) – I know I am discounting the Twins with this rank, but I am just not convinced that they are going to be a winning team come August. Yes, they swept the Royals this week but who hasn’t?

17 (21) New York Mets (26-26) – Gary Carter should manage this team. There, I said it. Hell, he should bring in Rickey Henderson along with him. This team is so bad it doesn’t matter who coaches, as long as it’s not Willie Randolph. Beating the Marlins helps take the media off of management, but the fact remains; they cannot stay consistent or provide any run support. Hell, the Mets player of the week is Fernando Tatis. YES, that Fernando Tatis!!

18 (16) Texas Rangers (27-28) – The Universal Soldier, Josh Hamilton, continues to treat the majors as if it were the minors. This kid has a new lease on life and he is destined to take full advantage of it. It’s just a shame the pitching is so putrid. Hamilton, Kinsler, and Young are doing just about everything that is expected with little to no help from the arms.

19 (15) New York Yankees (26-27) – They are the best, last place team in baseball right now. The sad part about their fall from grace is that Hank and Cashman put this team together the right way. Utilized the farm system, hired a rookie friendly coach, and didn’t spend money. Their 2008 formula is similar to how Russia adopted Capitalism after the Cold War. Epic Failure!!

20 (17) Milwaukee Brewers (26-28) – The question is yes. It is hilarious to watch 5’11, 270 pound Prince Fielder run the bases! Ryan Braun is pretty much the only player whose potential has equated to great success, as the rest of the team continues to underachieve. And for the record, Mike Cameron did NOT get busted for steroids, as one loud mouth fan Monday had thought.

21 (19) Cleveland Indians (24-29) – If there was a panic button in Cleveland it would have been pressed by now. Vic Martinez has proven to me that he is a little girl by complaining about the tiniest of injuries and missing games. They have a gimmie series vs. the Royals this weekend, so maybe that will alleviate some of their “pain”.

22 (21) Pittsburgh Pirates (25-28) – Jason Bay hit another homerun last night!! He is turning into Mr. Thursday!! The Pirates bats have never looked better, however, it’s the pitching that is killing this team. Snell, Duke, and Gorzelanny have proven that they need to hit the minors. It’s a sad day when Phil Dumatrait is the best pitcher in the rotation.

23 (25) Cincinnati Reds- (25-29) – The key ingredient has been added to the Reds recipe, and his name is Jay Bruce. The team finally has added another 5-tool player to the mix (The other, Brandon Phillips). I like this kid a lot, but even he cannot help the Reds pitching staff. Edison Volquez is beyond sick, but the Reds need more from Harang and Cueto. Once they click, the Reds will give the Cubs a run.

24 (24) San Francisco Giants (23-31) – Sweep……Sweep…..Sweep. Yes, those are the bird chirps that have been ringing in my head all week. Its one thing to sweep a team, but to sweep the first place Dbacks IN Arizona just makes it that much sweeter. The Road Warrior, Aaron Rowand, continues to make me believe that brighter days are still to come, even if it’s not this year. But hell, if we can be a pain in another team’s ass, then so be it. Sweep……Sweep…….Sweep!!

25 (23) Washington Nationals (23-32) – I managed to catch the Sunday and Monday Nationals game over the weekend. The Nats are so much better than their record indicates. Jason Bergman is that good and struck out just about everyone Monday afternoon. The one thing I was praying for over the weekend was Elijah Dukes getting hit by a pitch. That would have made us all forget about Tito Ortiz caving in on Saturday nights UFC fight night. Oh, and fun fact, Gonzo had his shot to murder his arch enemy, the Ryan Seacrest poser at Nationals Stadium, as he was just a fist length away from him….and failed!!

26 (26) Detroit Tigers (22-31) – They may be hitting the ball the way they are supposed to, but they are not moving up in the standings. Yes, they slaughtered the Twins 19-3 on Friday, but they also lost 1-0 vs. the Angels on Monday. It seems that Dontrelle Willis is now the highest paid reliever in baseball, as he was de-moted.

27 (29) San Diego Padres (21-34) – I am not a fan of kicking a man while he is down, but this is way to good to pass up! Padres are awful and we all know it. Its just a matter of time until Maddox gets traded to the Braves, Hoffman gets traded to the Brewers, and Bud Black gets fired! That’s my prediction at least. Oh, and Chase Headley needs to get called up. What are they waiting for??

28 (28) Colorado Rockies (20-34) – It was a rough week for the Rockies. Hawpe, Holliday, and Barnes hit the DL on the same day. On top of that, my rookie favorite, Ian Stewart, is not adjusting well the major league life. This is no way a World Series contender should go.

29 (30) Seattle Mariners (20-34) – Humiliating the Red Sox definitely moves the Mariners up 1 slot, even if it’s for one week. At least Erik Bedard isn’t a complete failure as he is still the best man in the rotation. I mean Jose Lopez is the M’s best player!!!

30 (27) Kansas City Royals (21-33) – Losing 11 in a row is a pretty rock solid reason to occupy the last spot.

MLB Power Rankings- Week 8

*Josh Hamilton, fellow Gonzo tatoo enthusiast and LSWTF player of the week*

I had myself a very interesting week of baseball. Not just the baseball aspect though, but the acquisition of a new HD TV, courtesy of my fiancé’s family as an engagement gift. Let’s just say I took complete control over the tele and watched nothing but baseball in HD. The main topic of the week wasn’t necessarily the actually game play of baseball; rather the debate for instant replay. I thought hard and long, read columns, watched some arguments, and replays in question. Ultimately, I believe the sport does need instant replay, but only for certain calls (i.e. Homeruns, fair and foul balls) and not for simple human errors (Balls and Strikes, safe or out). That, and teams should only get the chance to throw “The red flag” once a game. I’m sure this debate will further, but onto some power rankings!!

1 (5) Boston Red Sox (31-19) – Nothing like a 7 game winning streak to get the Red Sox Nation back to the top. I watched the entire weekend series vs. the Brewers and I am convinced they are the best team in baseball. Outside of Beckett’s 4 HR let down, the rest of the rotation looked good. Ortiz found his confidence and Drew found his “Wonder Boy”. And yeh-yeh, Jon Lester got a no-hitter. Ill leave it at that.

2 (2) Chicago Cubs (28-19) – I debated whether or not to keep the Cubbies here. I really like what the Dbacks have these past 8 weeks. But the fact that Alfonso Soriano is hitting like an all-star in an already stacked lineup was the clincher. I also love the Marmol/Wood 8th/9th inning combo. To me, second only to Joba/Rivera.

3 (1) Arizona Diamondbacks (28-19) – I think this might be the beginning of the end for Dback fan. Not because Webb’s winning streak is over, but that the offense is ice cold. They lost a tough series against the shockingly good Marlins on top of that. But never fear, they are in the NL West; the hot streak breeding ground of baseball.

4 (7) LA Angels (24-21) – Say what you want A’s fan but you know they earned this spot. John Lackey pitched a brilliant game in his 2nd start and that should scare the AL East. Mike Napoli might be a novelty catcher by hitting nothing but homeruns but he can also catch a good game. It just seems like all the pieces are finally coming together. Well with the exception of Gary Matthews Jr. What a waste of 10 Mil!

5 (3) Tampa Bay Rays (27-20) – They lose a few spots not because of poor play, but because the top 4 have had phenomenal weeks. The Rays are still my sleeper team for the wild card and why not. Upton/Crawford/Pena/Navarro are playing PHE-NOMINAL baseball. The pitching has never looked better (Except for that rare Percival blown save the other day). Oh, and well done to the organization for giving up the cash and long term deal to Scott Kazmir.

6 (10) Florida Marlins (27-19) – Some may feel this spot does not grant them justice. Trust me, I get it. They swept the Dbacks and ended Webb’s streak. But they also lost 2 of 3 vs the Royals. Not to say this team is underachieving but the name of the game is consistency. It was nice to see Andrew Miller dominate last night though. And FINALLY, the Marlins ponied up and gave out a long term contract. Hanley Ramirez; 6 Year, 70 million.

7 (11) St Louis Cardinals (28-21) – Albert Pujols should quit baseball and join the UFC. The man put 1 man on the DL and gave another a bloody nose in one night (Chris Young and Josh Bard). He is unstoppable right now. Wainwright is still pitching great but the offense needs to help him out. With Izzy on the DL, we can finally get a taste of the Cardinals future closer, Chris Perez!

8 (12) Philadelphia Philly’s (27-22) – Its official, Cole Hamels is fricken amazing. He threw another brilliant game against the Nats Tuesday night, however, the offense failed to give him any support. Guys, you need to put up numbers when your ace is on the hill (And when he is on my fantasy roster). Ryan Howard proved that he has some gas left in the tank (3 HR this week).

9 (4) Oakland A's (25-23) – Braves fan is going to have a field day with this, but they would have a point. Playing .500 baseball doesn’t exactly earn you points A’s fan, but its tough to compete when other teams are riding outrageous winning streaks. They have the 4th best pitching in baseball right now and that’s saying a lot with no superstar guys in the rotation. The fact they are 2 ½ games out of first tells me that they can stay consistent and win big games. But losing 4 of your last 6 games could negate all of that.

10 (18) Atlanta Braves (26-21) – I really do hate putting the Braves in the top 10 due to a really hot streak, but they did earn it. Hudson won the pitching duel with Santana last night, Jurrjens is pitching like a ROY, Chipper is still hitting over .400, and Francoeur is starting to drive in runs. I do love that they embarrassed the Mets with the sweep, so perhaps there is some sweetness in the jump. Well done Braves!

11 (14) Chicago White Sox (27-20) – It’s to soon for me to buy into the Sox winning ways. Sure, they are riding a 8 game win streak but just last week they were a .500 club. If they can continue to do what they are doing, then they will be in the same company as the Saux and Cubs. They did, however sweep my Giants over the weekend. Fucking Carlos Quenten!

12 (6) Houston Astros (27-22) – Here’s another team that is victim to circumstance. Its not that they are playing bad (Well, Roy Oswalt is) it’s just that they had a mediocre week. It’s tough to win when the Cubs and Cards ride the wave of winning. Pence is beginning to be my new favorite Non-Giant player. He is a doubles machine and jacked his first granny!! Well done Hunter.

13 (9) Baltimore Orioles (24-22) – The good times don’t last long in Baltimore as they drop out of the top 10. Brian Roberts leads the team in hitting with a staggering .263 AVG and that’s rather pathetic. The O’s need their offense to click if they want to win games the AL East. The pitching cannot carry the load (as they have been lately). They have a VERY tough week ahead of them (Rays, Yankees, and Red Sox).

14 (13) LA Dodgers (25-21) – Good news in Dodger camp!! AndrEw Jones is hurt!! Why is this good? Dews favorite NLer Matt Kemp can finally play on a more consistent bases. This doesn’t change the fact that the offense in anemic and the rotation is sucking (Some would blame Brad Penny’s girlfriend, Eliza Dushku)

15 (9) New York Yankees (22-25) – Arod is back and what a return he had! 2 HRs (well, 3 really…stupid Umps) and a nice series win over the Orioles. It looks like the Joba experiment will take effect soon as his innings have increased. I, think it would be terrible to put him in the rotation, but that’s just my opinion. Oh, and Jason Giambi’s slump continues, even with the golden panties.

16 (19) Texas Rangers (24-25) – There jump is a no brainer. This years MVP and Comeback player of the Year, Josh Hamilton is a Man-Beast. He is leading the league in RBIs and has an AVG over .330. I like this kid a lot! Ian Kinsler is hitting the ball nicely and Donnie Murphy is proving to be a solid #5 behind Hamilton. But its that pitching, it needs to improve!!

17 (17) Milwaukee Brewers (22-25) – It was either the Mets or the Brewers here, and I think we can all agree I made the right call. Despite getting swept in Boston there were some good signs of success. Ryan Braun is on fire and JJ Hardy is showing signs of life for the first time in weeks. Ben Sheets tossed an OK 11 hit CG/SO and that’s not bad. Fielder, Weeks, and Hall all need to step up, and now.

18 (22) Minnesota Twins (23-24) – Why 18? Well, they are 2nd place and only 3 ½ games behind, so anything is possible. Livan Hernandez is pitching ok enough for them to win some games and FINALLY Delmon Young is playing to his potential. He still doesn’t have a HR and that should worry Twin fan.

19 (8) Cleveland Indians (22-25) – Let this be a lesson to you. A 6 game losing streak with the talent this team possesses is not good. Cliff Lee’s success was going to last but only so long. The offense is terrible, the pitching is terrible, and the nothing on this team looks good. Count your lucky stars that your only 4 ½ games out of 1st. C.C Sabathia proved again that he can win big, and lose just as worse. I’m starting to see his dollar signs shrink every week

20 (24) Toronto Blue Jays (24-25) – They proved to me that they can still hit the ball without Vernon Wells. AJ Burnett seems to have worked the kinks out of his delivery as well. Deep down I just don’t buy their recent success. What will happen to them when they being inter-conference play next week. That could make or break!

21 (16) New York Mets (22-23) – Their record is laughable and pathetic. Willie Randolph should lose his job for his teams inability to play baseball and communicate. Where is Rickey when you need him?? In fact, that is my solution. The next Mets manager should be "The greatest of all time" He would have everyone steal bases, turn singles into triples, and talk in the 3rd person in no time. Well, except for Beltran who refuses to acknowledge him. But what is going on? Nobody can hit and nobody can pitch! Yes, I said it. Santana is pitching mediocre at best. AND, the best player in the locker room (Billy Wagner) just called you all out. So what is next?

22 (21) Pittsburgh Pirates (22-25) – Jason Bay hit a homerun last night!! No Im serious, he did!! All kidding aside, this team is one starting pitcher away from being a competitive team. The Pirates need to get off their asses and also call up Steve Pearce. So much talent and such poor management.

23 (23) Washington Nationals (20-28) – They did manage to shutout the Phillies, but also lost the next 2. Im not sure where to put the Nats right now with Kearns and Johnson heading to the DL now but the success never came from the offense. Its that pitching that has them winning.

24 (20) San Francisco Giants (19-29) – After the backlash I received last week and the Giants so-so play, I guess taking the Giants out of the top 20 is the right thing to do. We are riding a decent 2 game winning streak though. And yes, Tim Lincecum is THAT good. 6-1 and leading MLB in strikeouts is gives this Giants fan a reason to hope. Aaron Rowand continues to kill teams with extra bases, but the lack of legitimate RBI guys really diffuses his stats.

25 (25) Cincinnati Reds- (21-27) – Riding a 4 game losing streak justifies their ranking. They are getting better but without Dunn’s game winning HR’s, what do they have? Pitching is tapering off (Dews- That included Volquez). This teams best hitting, Ken Griffey Jr could also be traded soon.

26 (29) Detroit Tigers (20-27) – They had a very solid week sweeping the Mariners for the first time in 12 years. Maggs, Cabrera, and Sheffield looked phe-nominal and so did the pitching. Will their 3 game winning streak be enough to get them jumpstarted?? Time will tell. Oh, and yes, VCU grad Brandon Inge is playing EXCELLENT baseball (Anyone see that HR last night?)

27 (27) Kansas City Royals (21-26) – Getting no-hit does not help the Royals cause. Granted, it was the Red Sox IN Boston, but even that is no excuse. What happened to the offense pre-Red Sox series? Alex Gordon was looking great until that no-hitter. Well, even I have to be reminded that they are the Royals and we should expect nothing less from disappointment.

28 (27) Colorado Rockies (18-29) – Bad days in Colorado! I have a simple solution to help ease the heartache. Call up YOUR BEST PROSPECT Ian Stewart. He is major league ready and currently wasting his time in AAA. He is the best 3b in the minors and will immediately impact this team. Move Adkins to 2nd and “WALLA”…….Geezus it’s a no brainer!

29 (26) San Diego Padres (18-31) – If not for Adrian Gonzales the Padres would have 5, maybe 6 wins? The pitching is way too good for this kind of failure. When you have Cy Young winner Jake Peavy on the mound, you provide offense for him! And I have suggestion for the Padres. Call up YOUR BEST PROSPECT Chase Headly. He is the 2nd best 3b in the minors AND can play the OF on top of that. What the hell is wrong with the NL West management???

30 (28) Seattle Mariners (18-30) – Unlike the Rockies and Padres, I have no solution for the M’s. They called up their 2 best prospects and so far; epic failures! Nothing is good in Seattle except for Ibanez’s hitting. Even Ichiro is hitting well below his potential

For Gonzo and SayHey

Since the Oriole's Magic is in rain delay right now, I thought I'd bring a little something to our resident A's and Giants fans here...

Enjoy :)

MLB Power Rankings- Week 7

*Lance Berkman, LSWTF Player of the Week*

Michael: [in the office, imitating the terminator] I'll be baaaaack! And I am baaaack!
Pam: How'd it go?
Michael: No. No, Pam. I'm baaaaaack! For gooood!

Yes, one of the greatest quotable shows on tv……ever "The Office"! Let’s see, a lot has gone on in the past 2 weeks. I am engaged, the gang went camping, and I am job hunting….again. My apologies go out to the devout masses who look forward to my weekly power rankings. The theme of the week has been pitching, lots and lots of good pitching. Without further ado, let the debates begin.

1 (2) Arizona Diamondbacks (26-15) – They have struggled a lot at the plate these past weeks. Reynolds, Byrnes, and Young just can’t seem to click in May. Luckily for the Backs they have Webb (9-0), Haren (4-2, .99 WHIP), and Owings (5-1).

2 (4) Chicago Cubs (25-16) – First off, Dempster tossed 9 k’s in his last start; which is a testament of things to come. The guy was a reliever for all these years and is making good on his rare spot starts. Soriano is playing terrible baseball and the Cubs brought in Jim Edmonds to “Motivate” him. Yeh, nice try. What I love about the Cubs is that middle infield depth consisting of Mike Fontenot, Ryan Therot, Mark Derosa, and Ronny Cedeno.

3 (21) Tampa Bay Rays (24-17) – A lot has happened in 2 weeks, one being the complete dominance of the Rays in the AL West. Let’s break it down: Swept the Angels, took 2 of 3 vs the Jays, and took 3 of 4 from the Yanks. Sure the Saux swept them earlier in the month, but the O’s remedied that quickly, eh Dewey? Oh, did I mention Scott Kazmir is back?? Hmmmm danger Hank Steinbrenner, Danger!!

4 (8) Oakland A's (23-19) – They deserve this and everyone here knows it. They may not play sexy baseball but they win. They dominated April (A month we all know them to truly suck in). However, they are currently struggling in May but so is everyone else. True, they got roughed up by the Indians but ask Oriole fan (whom the A’s swept earlier in the month), this team is for real. Oh, and somebody give Emil Brown a cookie for carrying the offense on his back (.269, 4HR, 33RBI).

5 (1) Boston Red Sox (24-19) –It pains me to keep them on the top 5. I mean Red Saux Nation went into Camden Yards and was HUMILIATED. Despite Dewey’s bombardment of trash talk (The whole Jon Lester argument), Dews still managed to be humble. Also, need I remind you that the Twins took 3 of 4 games prior? But im not couting the Saux out just yet. Ellsbury is playing like the ROY candidate of last year and ManRam can still hit. 2 HR away to 500! Side note- Fatollo, errr Bartolo Calon is pitching excellent in AAA right now.

6 (25) Houston Astros (24-18) – Even I need to take a step back and reflect. We all knew the offense was good, but the recent success of the pitching took me off guard. Oswalt is pitching great, Wandy Rodriguez is proving to be a solid #2, and Brandon Backe is well, back! Let’s not forget that the Stro’s have won 9 of their last 11 games. Props to Lance Berkman for playing like an MVP candidate. Oh, and Miguel Tejada must be like fine wine. The older he GOT, the better he is.

7 (3) LA Angels (24-19) – They own first place in the West by a thread and their pitching savior, John Lackey got r-o-u-g-h-e-d up!! But pitchers coming off major injury tend to do that, so don’t drool just yet A fan. Santana and Saunders continue to pitch well but can they keep doing it through September. I think not! I believe the success of this team rests on the shoulders of Vlad the Great (.269, 4HR, 20RBI). Yikes!

8 (16) Cleveland Indians (22-19) – C.C Sabathia, Cliff Lee, and now Aaron laffey. They have the starters and now Kobayashi closing games. I love the pitching in Cleveland. But the problem is now in the hands of the offense. Sure, they can get on base but nobody can drive them home. Casey Blake leads the team with 25rbi. They need a more consistent RBI guy if they want to win those close games. Oh, props to Grady Sizemore for reminding the young folk what Ricky Henderson meant to baseball back in the day (That awesome lead-off HR and then follow with another on Saturday) *Jack- Not a comparison but it was refreshing to see a lead-off hitter imitate, even for one day*

9 (11) Baltimore Orioles (21-19) – Calm down Dews, the O’s earned this for making ME excited about Oriole baseball over the weekend. That sweep silenced Red Sox Nation at least for a weekend. As we all know, its not easy to quiet them. To be honest, I don’t think the momentum will last as the rotation seems to be overworked and the offense is non-existent (Well, except for that JAY PAYTON Grand Slam). And for the record, Nick Markakis isn’t the best Greek in baseball, that honor would go to Kevin Youkalis. Sorry bra’.

10 (15) Florida Marlins (23-17) – I know Marlin fan must be disappointed with the 10 rank and I don’t blame them. But a sweep against the Nats followed by GETTING swept by the Reds doesn’t help much. The offense has proved they are top of the pack in the majors. Hanley Ramirez is awesome and Dan Uggla is proving that you can still succeed despite a terrible sophomore season. My only beef is the pitching. The pitching is terrible in every aspect.

11 (7) St Louis Cardinals (24-19) – I think the luster is starting to fade on the Cardinals. Sure, Albert Pujols is playing like an MVP and the pitching is looking solid (With the exception of Izzy in the closer role). But The Pirates took 2 of 3 as did the Brewers. They need to win those series! I do love that outfield though; Skip Shumaker, Rick “Man Child” Ankiel, and Chris Duncan. Not sexy, but productive.

12 (20) Philadelphia Philly’s (23-19) – Cole Hamels; my fantasy savior, threw a brilliant CG SO against the Braves last night. I do, however, feel this team needs serious help (Brett Myers got LIT THE FUCK UP against the Braves earlier in the week). The pitching is still horrible, and Pat Burrell’s hot streak seems to be at an end as well. BUT, Jimmy Rollins is back and Chase Utley is still cranking balls. There might still be some hope in Philly. SIDE NOTE- Yes, the Giants took 2 of 3 games vs the Phills over the weekend.

13 (17) LA Dodgers (21-19) – I still think they are in deep trouble and getting swept by the Astro’s doesn’t help either. AndrEw Jones hit a homerun (I think that’s worth highlighting). The pitching has been so-so; as Derek Lowe proved to me once again why I need to drop him from my fantasy team. I do see a bright shining star though in a cloud full of smog, Blake DeWitt.

14 (5) Chicago White Sox (20-20) – I think they are a much better team than #14 rank. But Thome has 1 hit in his last 3 games, Nick Swisher is proving that Clint can see into the future and should be considered a witch/sorcerer/The Emperor, and the Sox middle infield is crap. It is worth mentioning that a fellow fantasy owner offered me Paul Konerko for Tyler Walker…….In the words on Quagmire “Giggidy Giggidy GOOO, Aaaaaallrigh”.

15 (9) New York Yankees (20-22) – I am not ready to kick them out of the top 15. Call me stubborn but its true. Sure they are in last place but with the talent and payroll that they have, it’s only a matter of time until they break the slump. Arod is back next week which is an immediate upgrade and good reason to keep them at this rank. The pitching is terrible, but rookie Darrell Rasner could be a bright spot (2-0, 3.00 ERA).

16 (13) New York Mets (21-20) – They are out of the top 15 for a good reason. How are they this bad??? Carlos Beltran is getting better and that could be a good sign. I never would have thought the best pitcher in baseball, Johan Santana (4-2) would be this mediocre. Oh, it’s not his fault but still. It boggles the mind!! Oh, and good luck recovering from that awful series with the Nationals. 1 win out of 4, come on!!

17 (6) Milwaukee Brewers (20-21) – Their record is exactly where it should be. Rickie Weeks, Bill Hall, and Prince Fielder have a combined AVG of .211. Those are everyday starters!! I think its time to dump Bill Hall, put red hot Ryan Braun back at 3b, and call up super-man-giant rookie Matt LaPorta. I still like the rotation even without Gallardo, but the Gagne experiment needs to end!!

18 (23) Atlanta Braves (20-20) – John Smoltz is the teams new closer. I think this is an excellent move. The rotation needs young blood and well, a closer. This move addresses both needs. Oh and when did Mark Kotsay become good again? The guy is playing with passion again!! That, and if you have been living under a rock lately, Chipper Jones gives all Brave fans a reason to smile.

19 (29) Texas Rangers (20-22) – I still hate this teams pitching, but Vicente Padilla is FINALLY playing respectable baseball. That and my pre-season theory of simply outscoring the opponent to win games are being utilized. That and Josh Hamilton IS an MVP and Comeback player of the year right now. The guy is simply making up for lost years.

20 (19) San Francisco Giants (17-25) – You God Damn right we stay in the top 20. Sure we had a few bumps but name another team behind us that is doing any better? We took 2 of 3 against the Philly’s, Matt Cain finally won a game, and Tim Lincecum is showing the world that he can win on a mediocre team. Sure the Astro’s beat us up but we did keep it competitive. Aaron Rowand (.333 5HR, 20RBI, 12 doubles) is playing PHE-NOMINAL baseball. His lack of RBIs is accredited to the fact that nobody in front of him can get on base.

21 (28) Pittsburgh Pirates (20-21) – Ok, the Pirates did sweep the Giants, but it’s my rankings so I’m allowed a discrepancy. The rotation lacks consitancy as does the rest of the bullpen. I do find it funny that the more Jason Bay bashing that I do, the better he becomes. So for the remainder of this week, he is UTTERLY USELESS!!

22 (24) Minnesota Twins (20-20) – They may warrant a top 20 but all you need to do is look at the record. Yeh, they beat up on the Saux, but they were also Toronto’s whipping boy as they got swept. Morneau is finally driving in runs but he only seems to drive in Joe Mauer. The team needs more offensive weapons. Don’t get me started on the pitching, unless you really want me to say that Livan Hernandez is this team’s ace. I know I threw up also just writing it.

22 (30) Washington Nationals (18-24) – Who would have thought the Nats would do what they did against the Mets. I did?? Nah, but seriously, the pitching is looking pretty solid now. Tim Redding and John Lannan are carrying the rotation and support guys like Odalis Perez and Shawn Hill a little better (All 4 with ERA’s under 4).

23 (27) Kansas City Royals (19-21) – They swept the Tigers…..AGAIN!! If only they played Detroit everyday. The problem in KC is that nobody can score any runs. Yes, they hit for average and yes they can draw walks, but nobody has stepped up to drive them in. Zach Greinke and Brian Bannister are pitching good enough to compensate for bad hitting. If Meche can get on track, the Royals could have a formidable 1-2-3 in the rotation. The AL Rookie favorite of mine, Luke Hochevar, is making a decent case for ROY. Good stuff!

24 (22) Toronto Blue Jays (20-22) – Vernon Wells, The Jays BEST player, is out 6-8 weeks. Yeh, that is Granted, they got the sweep over the Twins but I don’t see any player in the organization picking up his slack. I foresee bad days ahead in Canada, Eh.

25 (26) Cincinnati Reds- (18-23) – I think there is a good future in the Reds rotation, along side Harang we have Cueto and Volquez. The problem isn’t really the pitching though; it’s the complete lack of offense. Sure they swept the Marlins, but the team’s best hitter, Jeff Keppinger, is out 6 weeks with a broken kneecap. And yes, I said Jeff Keppinger is their best player.

26 (12) San Diego Padres (15-27) – What the hell happened here? I have no explanation. I literally have nothing to say *I am laughing my ass off right now though*. Padre fan was convinced the Giants would occupy last place. Sure, the Giants COULD in the future, but just not now. *Yes, im still laughing my ass off right now*

27 (14) Colorado Rockies (15-26) – Again, I sit here laughing my ass off. How does a World Series team go from great success to utter failure? Helton and Holliday are not producing and the pitching is garbage.

28 (18) Seattle Mariners (16-26) – It is a bad sign when Ichiro is hitting under .300 and failing to score runs. The team relies on the one universal truth, and that is him GETTING ON BASE. I think the Jeff Clement and Wladamir Balentien experiment has been an utter failure as well. Erik Bedard and Felix Hernandez are pitching very well but not getting any run support. Just 4 wins combined.

29 (10) Detroit Tigers (16-25) – Parody does in fact exist in baseball. If you don’t believe me just take a look at the Tigers. Crap for pitching (With the exception of Armando Galarraga) and crap for offense (with the exception of Magglio Ordonez). What happened to this powerhouse team? What sad is that I think things will get even worse!! D-Damn Tigers, you cant get swept by the Royals twice!

MLB Power Rankings- Week 4

*Chase Utley, LSWTF player of the week*

This has been one hell of an April that can only described by:

Dr Ray Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!

Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...

Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!

Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!

The best part about this whole thing is that we have another 1 week left of the month. Well, without further “ado”…..

1 (1) Boston Red Sox (15-9) – Dice-K found his rhythm and David Ortiz and Jacoby Ellsbury broke out of their slumps. That and they are beating up on division leaders. Despite a 2 game losing streak, I predict another Red Sox trophy year.

2 (2) Arizona Diamondbacks (16-6) – You wont see the #1 spot if you lose half of your games to the Giants but well done for continuously proving me wrong this season. I have to be honest, I didn’t expect this offense to do much. Oh, and Micah Owings and Branden Webb are combined 9-0 and that is enough to make any Arizona fan smile.

3 (5) LA Angels (14-9) – They hold on to this spot ONLY because they took the series against the Red Sox on the Nations home turf. Oh, and props go out to Gary Matthew Jr. for finally showing up. Side note- Did anyone happen to watch Vlad rob that Manny homerun on Tuesday?

4 (6) Chicago Cubs (15-7) – They are riding a 6 game winning streak and that isn’t bad. Even Sweet Lou is speaking of a World Series year. However, I just don’t buy it. The pitching has been a question mark since Spring Training and to me is still inconsistent. But hey, you got to love what Ronny Cedeno and Felix Pie have done filling in for the hurt Ryan Theriot and Alfonso Soriano.

5 (5) Chicago White Sox (12-9) – Sure they lost a couple of games against the Yankees but at least they made a series out of it. They still lack of a true lead-off hitter and I think that alone will cost them a few games.

6 (8) Milwaukee Brewers (13-9) – Why are they above the Cards? Because its way too early for a major drop-off. Especially when the Brewers win games they are supposed to win. Prince Fielder finally had a multi-homerun game, Ryan Braun is kind of breaking out of his slump, and the rest of the offense is starting to move.

7 (11) St Louis Cardinals (14-9) – I dont know how much longer they can ride this stream of success. I love the pitching so far and the Duncan/Pujols combo is proving to be most valuable. But like I said, its only a matter of time until they run out of fuel.

8 (16) Oakland A's (14-9) – Give me one good reason why they don’t deserve the top 10? They have been phe-nominal this April. This should scare the AL since they are known to play VERY poorly in these months. Mike Sweeney found his bat, Frank Thomas is the new DH, and my boy, Rajah Davis is the teams new CF. I don’t know how Man-Genius Billy Beane does it, but he does it well.

9 (7) New York Yankees (12-11) – I’m sorry Oriole’s fan, I just can’t knock the Yankees out just yet. They proved they can beat good teams on the road with their offense. The problem now is pitching. They have none! Other than a rare decent Mussina start, Pettite, and Wang… They have nothing to hope for. I seriously doubt the offense can put up 7-8 runs a night to compensate for awful pitching. But I do have faith in Joe Girardi. If anyone can fix the mess, its him.

10 (10) Detroit Tigers (10-13) – They are riding a solid 4 game winning streak but not only are they beating teams, they are crushing them. They neutralized the Ranger juggernaut offense to 10 runs in their series. This, and only scoring a pathetic 37 runs. As you all know, Cabrera moves to 1b. This could make the defense a tad better since Guillen is a better infielder.

11 (19) Baltimore Orioles (13-9) – They I really hate putting the O’s here but they have earned it. They took 2 of 3 from the Mariners and own 2nd place in the East. A feat I never thought I would see this season. Props go to Adam Jones who finally made an impact last night. Now if Jeremy Guthrie could only win a game……

12 (3) San Diego Padres (9-14) – I can’t allow the Padres to fall like a pile of bricks this early in the game. But truth is that they still have amazing pitching. Hoffman’s closing days are done and Heath Bell & Cla Meridth are struggling to lock up the 7th and 8th innings. But everything else seems to be fine. Oh, and being swept by the Giants at home doesn’t help your cause much either. Oh, and enjoy last place “Fathers”.

13 (9) New York Mets (11-10) – Talk to me Goose, whats wrong in Queens? You cannot buy a win unless Johan is pitching. They stunk it up against the Nats last night and nothing seems to work. Maine, Perez, and that middle relief are pitching like bush leaguers and Reyes seems to have forgotten how to hit. Needless to say I know the answer. No Rickey!!! Rickey Henderson pisses excellence and he was nowhere to be found last night.

14 (19) Colorado Rockies (10-12) – They are slowly but surely getting better. Troy got his first homerun and I do predict more from him. Clint Barnes, yes that Clint Barnes, is back to rookie form and is playing great. Oldie but goodie Brian Fuentes is finally closing again. Why he was demoted in the first place is beyond me.

15 (20) Florida Marlins (13-9) – I am still convinced this is a fluke since the pitching staff is complete garbage right now. But everyone in the lineup is crushing baseballs. Ramirez, Uggla, Wilingham, Jacobs, Cantu are ALL playing like all stars. I will give them credit for proving a lot of people wrong, but I don’t see this lasting much longer.

16 (13) Cleveland Indians (10-12) – C.C got a win!!! And did it the way a Cy Younger should; but punching out 11 in 7 innings. I do find some humor that the only run producer on the team right now Casey Blake, and NOT Travis Hafner or Victor Martinez.

17 (12) LA Dodgers (9-13) – Nobody could be happier than their fall from grace than me. I love to see this team struggle!! Derek Lowe teaked his elbow and if he spends even 1 day on the DL, their record will plummet even further. AndrUw Jones is proving to us all that he is crap and I have said that for sometime now. Joe Torre is NOT that good of a manager, or at least not a good NL coach. It’s called a Pinch Hitter or a call to the bullpen!!!

18 (11) Seattle Mariners (11-12) – They had a forgettable week indeed. Losing a home series to the O’s is not a good thing. But allow me to put my Carlos Silva hatred on hold for a moment because he is actually pitching decent ball.

19 (25) San Francisco Giants (10-13) – You God Damn right we crack the top 20, and why not? We are beating up on first place teams ON THE ROAD!! Just ask St Louis, Arizona, and San Diego. Never underestimate a solid rotation. Tim Lincecum needed only 1 run to secure his 4-0 record last night. Without Barry Zito (0-5), we are a winning ball-club. Don’t forget that.

20 (23) Philadelphia Philly’s (12-11) – Sure they have a winning record, but with all of that talent they should own first place. Rollins hit the DL so that will automatically impact this team. Ryan Howard is in a huge slump and the pitching is still shaky. And yes, Your best pitcher Cole Hamels blew a lead and cost me fantasy points. So yeh, just a tad bit of bitterness on my part

21 (21) Tampa Bay Rays (11-11) – I still think they can shock the world and win the wild card. The pitching is still a little uncertain as coach Madden seems to utilize a 10 man rotation. Always someone new starting a game but the offense is getting a little better and should keep doing so once we enter May. They need Carlos Pena to heat up a bit. He is getting on base but not driving in any runs.

22 (22) Toronto Blue Jays (10-13) – It came to me as no surprise that they cut Frank Thomas. Why not? Matt Stairs first game as the starting DH pounded 2 homeruns. Scott Rolen should be off the DL soon and that should give Torotno fan some reason to smile.

23 (29) Atlanta Braves (11-11) – Congratulations goes out to John Smoltz for his 3,000th strikeout. Yes, another milestone at the expense of a Nationals player. The team is beginning to gain confidence. But note to Brave’s- Losing 6-0 to the Nats ON SMOLTZ’s BIG DAY is not going to help much. Trust me!

24 (22) Minnesota Twins (10-12) – I can only give up on this team now. Liriano is not back to full strength and this is hurting the team. The offense is not producing the way it should be with Young and Morneau in a slump. They may have only one option now, and that is to trade Joe Nathan. He is useless if the ball isn’t in his hand in the 9th.

25 (26) Houston Astros (11-12) – Roy Oswalt is pitching well again and that must make Astros fan happy. Here is the bad news; your management wants to trade him. Why make Hank in Yankeetown drool over this??? Stupid. On an ironic note, Miguel Tejada aged 2 years over night. The irony, he also got THAT much better overnight as well. The old man is on fire right now!! Oh, and Hunter Pence is FINALLY playing well again. Now about that pitching…..

26 (22) Cincinnati Reds- (9-14) – Well, easy come easy go. They are back in the cellar. But I do feel they will bust out of there early slump. Adam Dunn rarely performs well in April. Once he finds his lumber, they will win games again.

27 (15) Kansas City Royals (9-13) – A 7 game losing streak will put ya in the back of the pack. What happened to that “shock the world” sweep over Detroit? Well, the pitching is bad and the offense cooled down. Im not counting you out yet, but give me something nice to say here!!

28 (27) Pittsburgh Pirates (9-13) – They may be losing but they haven’t seen a losing streak YET. It’s been on and off. Nate McCluth is turning into one of my favorite players to watch and that Freddie Sanchez play last night was PHE-NOMINAL. What happened to the 2007 Tom Gorzellany?? Seems he went away with the Zach Duke of 2006.

29 (28) Texas Rangers (7-16) – Josh Hamilton should earn player of the month. But of course he won’t because nobody around him is playing well. The pitching, like I have been saying for months now, is down right garbage.

30 (30) Washington Nationals (7-16) – They are starting to show signs of life for the first time in weeks!! Felipe Lopez christened the new park by cranking the team’s first grand slam ever buy a Nat at Nationals Park. The bullpen is in dire need of some help, as backup closer Jon Rauch appears to NOT want the closer role, as indicated by his stats.